abstract
| - Og is an all-too-familiar, procedural computer language developed by Gurgle Inc. in their ongoing and valiant effort to keep computing in the stone age where it rightly belongs. Followed by the brilliant industry superstars Java and C#, Og continues the tradition of serving up the same old putrid slop under the guise and disguise of Innovation. Og is named after a caveman who lived sometime between the second and third Ice ages in the geographic region known today as northern South Dakota. His day-to-day activities included raising polecats and an all-day breakfast, not entirely unlike an average programmer in the financial services industry. In the interest of keeping up with Macrosoft and Some Microsystems, who in turn developed Java and C#, Gargle Inc. developed the Og language in yet another attempt at world domination, following the not-too-terribly successful but radioactive Chromium browser, designed primarily to accelerate and enhance human evolution through radiation. With the acquisition of Some Microsystems by Oracle, the plan is that should Java, east of Krakatoa, become as extinct as Diplidocus, Og is positioned to assume the position of the preferred language of world domination. It is rumoured that Giggle Inc. somehow got the name of their Og language backwards.
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