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| - THE VIGIL IS LONG and boring to some. But to me, it passes like a flash. I remember the feeling when Cloudrose announced there was nothing she could do for Grayflower, the feeling of wanting to rip the pale gray and cream pelt of the medicine cat and slash her throat, giving her the wounds Grayflower got and died from. Nobody does anything until Wolfclaw speaks, "The elders and her loved ones may bury her. The rest of you, go back to your dens and get rest. Cloudrose will come by for each of you and trea-" Wolfclaw doesn't hesitate. "Of course, Cloudrose. Whatever is easiest for you." ~
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| - THE VIGIL IS LONG and boring to some. But to me, it passes like a flash. I remember the feeling when Cloudrose announced there was nothing she could do for Grayflower, the feeling of wanting to rip the pale gray and cream pelt of the medicine cat and slash her throat, giving her the wounds Grayflower got and died from. Foxpelt stares at his mate in grief and anger and he pads into the nursery, probably to get Petalkit to say her last goodbyes. As if she would understand. I bury my nose in Grayflower's fur, my eyes closed. I don't cry though I desperately feel like it. Maybe it's because I don't want my Clanmates seeing me weak. True warriors move on. I step back from my mother, and turn around to see Foxpelt nudging Petalkit to Grayflower; the little she-cat's eyes widen as she sees my mother's limp body and she seems to recognize the scent. Petalkit begins wailing and rather than comforting her, Foxpelt leaves to talk to Shiningstar. Nobody does anything until Wolfclaw speaks, "The elders and her loved ones may bury her. The rest of you, go back to your dens and get rest. Cloudrose will come by for each of you and trea-" "Actually, can I have them all out here so it's easier for me to see which injuries are more serious?" Cloudrose asks. Wolfclaw doesn't hesitate. "Of course, Cloudrose. Whatever is easiest for you." I feel my claws poke out of their sheathe. Now we'll have no room for the actually important vigil! I watch the elders gently lift Grayflower's body and carry her out of the camp. I hesitate, then look back at Petalkit who is following them, a determined, yet grieving look on her flawless face. Every now and then, she stumbles - she's not used to being out here. I walk over to her and gently nudge her back on her paws every time she falls and she blinks gratefully at me every time. I finally give up and carry her the whole way. "Here," Berrystorm says, placing a paw on a sequoia. I remember when I was her mentor, she loved training by this tree. She would've wanted to be buried here." So the elders dig out a fair hole and set her in, Petalkit and I watching. "Goodbye, Mommy." Petalkit whispers as the elders begin covering her body and Lightwind curls her tail around us. But instead of looking down at her body, I look up at the stars. The rumors are that once a cat dies, for that whole night, a star would shine brighter than usual. But I don't see one. All the stars look dull gray to me, no spectular, majestic sheen visible. What a lie. I look over at Petalkit who is staring up at the sky in awe, and I wonder what she can see. ~ Foxpelt has a new mate. Her name is Lilyclaw who's had a crush on him since they were kits. Now that Grayflower has died, she's made her move. I can't believe Foxpelt just threw my mother away like that. Actually, I can believe it. My father is not a good cat. I avoid the couple at all costs and Petalkit? Petalkit just treats them like them being together isn't scandalous, isn't wrong. As if Lilyclaw could replace Grayflower. And they treat her like she is their daughter. And I don't exist. At least, not to Lilyclaw. I'm still there for Petalkit, of course. And unfortunately, Foxpelt too. I sigh and walk into of the nursery to get sleep. Lilyclaw has moved in there to care for Petalkit and me (or so she tells the Clan because we all know she is really there to make Petalkit ditch all her memories of Grayflower. I am not included). I fall into my nest, a separate one that I claimed. I chose not to share one with Lilyclaw and Petalkit, and neither of them questioned me, thankfully. I look up and see Petalkit playing with a daffodil, I remember Foxpelt dropping it off for her. Lilyclaw watches her lovingly, but I want her to back off. I want to tell her to get her own kits, to leave my sister alone. Maybe I will say those things one day. Who knows?
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