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| - 1001 Hanners and Winslow try to make coffee (Non-sentient machines) 1002 Hanners: "WASH YOUR HANDS FIRST!" "I think I understand why Faye's so surly sometimes!" Marten: "No shirt, no shoes, no dental floss, no service." 1003 Thongs to the Y? Embarrassing (and a full-on view of Dora's Tattoo) 1004 Marten made the "second worst latte she's ever tasted." The worst: Faye "brewed" some potting soil instead of coffee grounds (hippies!) 1005 "Hah. This from the boy who loses all motor control when I nuzzle your neck." 1006 Everything I know about relationships I learned from Leo Fender 1007 Uno between Pintsize/Hanners/Winslow; "Lush's bottom" pun (In space, no one can hear you groan.) 1008 Marten doesn't care for foie gras; Reverse Strip Poker! Reverse Monopoly would be a communist revolution? 1009 Pintsize is an aggressive bettor (with panties?); Cleaning services in Western MA stopped returning her calls a long time ago. 1010 Package from John Ellicott; "latest prototype... a ROBOT BOYFRIEND?... Mad-scientist laugh, have you been taking your medication?" 1011 "Dip my toe in the dating pool"; Father's dream: building daughter's suitor from scratch! His "bait and tackle are still in beta" 1012 Winslow: "Am I being replaced?" You can upload AnthroPC personalities! "I have THUMBS! And FINGERS!" Faye: "My chest is not the Make-A-Wish Foundation!" 1013 Winslow crosses the Uncanny Valley; "Great, we've gone from I, Robot to The Terminator." 1014 Dora: "Are you getting flashbacks to your first date?" 1015 "Hey, Pintsize." "AAAGH! WINSLOW?" "If you had opposable thumbs, you'd be a threat to civilization." 1016 Hanners: "...send it back, don't keep in closet." Faye: "Everyone has a few roboexoskeletons in their closet" (Literally: Pintsize's old chassis) 1017 No dialogue comic: The Scarlet Letter! (Hanners pinches RoboBoyfriend's tush) 1018 "Thinly Veiled Personal Metaphor Blues"; Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies cards (in the bedroom?) 1019 OMG Turkeys 2007! 1020 ROBO-INQUISITION! Marten: "Sentence Commuted." Rule of Thumb: He who has the thumbs makes the rules. Godwin'ed? "reductio ad Hitlerum" 1021 What rhymes with "philandering"? The CoD house band! 1022 New Guitar to practice; Tai Fighter and her Sequencing Beats (DJ Awkwardd Beatz – Mopey Stress-core!) 1023 New WIKIPEDIO'S! 1024 Modern Sexuality Class Questionnaire; Sleeping with Dora is more like a post-soccer-match riot 1025 Dave with the pink shirt and Steve; Why'd they break up? 1026 Domestic Violence is wrong. And I really like Cheerios! 1027 Meena cheated on him. And he forgave her. She ended the four-year relationship; Dave is TOO PERFECT! He: • NEVER gets Mad! • rarely makes mistakes. • Immediately acknowledges and tries to fix things when he does • Remembers birthdays and anniversaries • Is studying to be a Doctor to "help the children" • Is a CHURCH-goer • Donates money to charities • Spends 15 hours a week helping the homeless (he does have to sleep sometime) 1028 "You're not perfect!" Steve: "Thanks. So glad to know that I'm in you league." 1029 Dave overheard the conversation... "If I really was crazy I might not know if I'm a serial killer, so I can't rule it out." 1030 Go with it or RUN LIKE HELL. "Raven has some rather... grandiose ideas about my man-tackle." 1031 Mrs. Bianchi = Dora's head on Heidi Klum's body; Faye vs. Mr. Bianchi 1032 Meet the 'rents; "Don't sell Dad pot" (ex-boyfriend Jerry) Oh, and only have ONE brownie. 1033 Tai: Register for the wedding at Urban Outfitters or Salvation Army? Marten: "She doesn't have a sister." In 18 years or so I'll be ready to settle into a nice comfy May/October relationship. 1034 Marten, Dad and The Secret Handshake 1035 Dora's Mom; "Reminds me of that bondage lady... Veronica?" Dora (after blushing): "Wow, she didn't even pick up on it." Dora gets her looks from mom, Sven from Peter's brother Joseph 1036 The Leather Pants of DOOM! 1037 Faye & Pen speculate on how high the parents; Faye: "I think you're mistaking bisexuality with substance abuse." Pen: "I think THEY were." 1038 YELLING BIRD appears in QC! (Originally a character from Indietits, appearing on Apr. 17, 2005; became a "regular" filler strip on QC) 1039 Love is... (Defined by the QC staff.) 1040 Dad and Marten, Mom and Dora; "So... you stole him." 1041 Had to fight off other girls for dad? (conversation while mom is rolling a joint) Mom: "First one you've brought home I'd sleep with." Dora: "YOU'RE WINDOW SHOPPING IN MY WARDROBE!" 1042 Coloring Page (What came out of the box?) 1043 Peter and Elssa Bianchi; spent a weekend in the Mojave Desert high on peyote taking pictures of scorpions (may have met Hunter S. Thompson); Kilimanjaro, Pirates in the South Pacific, slapped Nancy Reagan on the... WHAT? 1044 Dad is a photographer; freelancing, mostly National Geographic... "What do your parents do?... WHAT?... prol'ly TMI." "It's okay, your daughter..." 1045 Avoid Contact Highs; Brushing teeth and washing hands (and a confused Dora) 1046 Little Stoner Girlfriend; Hanners gave up smoking; did it just to prove she could do it – she was on powerful anti-anxiety pills at the time; explains the stalking? "No, just me being my creepy self." 1047 Faye: "No awkward moments?" Marten: "Your dad used to jerk off to pics of my mom." Dora: "What? Not him too?" (pause) "I didn't have access to any other erotica!" [2008] 1048 The risqué stuff would be... creepy. "I'm just sayin'..." STOP IT. 1049 Penelope Rises and Shines! Faye... not so much. "You. Did. NOT. Just call me FAT." 1050 Penelope: "LOOK AT MY ASS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!" 1051 "She made me WALK from the Gym!" "YOU CALLED ME FAT!" Gladiatorial combat (Two girls enter! One girl leaves!) 1052 Okay, bad idea. Docking you BOTH... "Early onset UNEMPLOYMENT." 1053 Hanners BROKE HER DRUMSTICK! "Lost Home for Widowed Drumsticks" 1054 Music Store trip with Hanners: Professional Cymbal Tester? 1055 Raven: My Boyfriend from CANADA! "...Raven, you're dating a Hobo." (not Makeout Hobo) 1056 Hanners went to the music store and bought a GONNGGGG!!!! ("Brain... no... worky...") 1057 Pintsize vs. the Roomba (with the gong): "His power level, it's over 9000!" 1058 Faye and Dora in undies in the kitchen; bikini line looks GREAT! (You are so WEIRD when you're half-asleep) [Note on the fridge: MARTEN, TOUCH THE MILK AND YOU DIE. <3 FAYE] 1059 Those "feelings" for Marty; "Oh I'm plottin' your downfall... not because of Marty, Just plain ol' orneriness. Makes me tingly." (We have GOT to get you LAID.) [The note's gone] 1060 Pushing my boundaries on sex : bulldozing a dike in Holland – Hundreds of dead, lots of sogginess 1061 Benji the Canadian Hobo (boyfriend of Raven); "Here's ten bucks and a monkey wrench." 1062 "Differently employed"; Classical guitarist! "Six pack of Labatts to get in the mood" for off-key rendition of Bobby McGee. 1063 Hanners: Raven's dating a STREET MUSICIAN? Dora relates about the old Mental Hospital in town; "functional" ones settled; "THERE COULD BE A CRAZY PERSON LIVING IN MY BUILDING!" (Heaven forbid.) 1064 The Panhandler Mafia: • Guy with one-string guitar • Yell-o-phone guy (two notes!) • Bucket Guy 1065 Third wheels can be fun! (Local necrophiliacs) 1066 "YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR FIVE GIRLS WHO AREN'T ME????" (#### my honest mouth) 1067 "Love the One You're With" is BS; not dating for convenience, you make me HAPPY. "Throwing yourself at another person isn't romance. It's football." 1068 Hanners: You say it's your birthday? 1069 Hanners is now 22 (for reals); Karaoke show! (Dad threw a surprise party for sweet 16; peed in her pants) 1070 YELLING BIRD: Jeph's sick 1071 "Young and gainlessly employed" enjoy Karaoke; hey it's SVEN! "Smarmosaur" with friends from out of town (Jerry? Scott?) 1072 Sign: NO RICKROLLING THE AUDIENCE! Sven's choice of song for Faye: "Fat Bottom Girls" Faye: I'm gonna kill him. Hanners: Please don't, it's my birthday. 1073 "Maybe I'll sing one of those awful songs you write for a living." • "My Wife Left Me For My Girlfriend" • "Yankee Is A Four-Letter Word" • She's Pretty (But She Ain't No John Deere)" 1074 Karaoke Wars! Sven: "You Give Love A Bad Name"; Faye: "You're So Vain" (Dude, you just got served); Sven: "99 Problems" (F: Even Jay-Z can't top Jay-Z!; H: Regularly enumerates their tribulations) 1075 Hanners sings: Row, row, row your boat... 1076 Vodka and Peter Sellers movies at Sven's! (DETOUR – ANY OTHER FEMALE IN EXISTANCE) 1077 Princess (Sven's MALE cat); "He's had a nasty stomach bug the last couple of days." FWINGGGG!!! "Aim. Right." HORK HORK (My clean boxers!) 1078 The "come hither" look; Faye: "Am I blushing? Why am I blushing?" Sven: "My aim was off! Please don't hit me!" 1079 Faye pushes her boundaries: SHE KISSES THE BOY! (While Hannelore gently sleeps – on the couch, of course) 1080 Hanners wakes up and sees Faye and Sven IN BED! AAIGH! Creepy note! Creepy Note! 1081 Faye wakes up! (We will be postponing this morning's scheduled panic attack in order to admire that fine, fine ass.) 1082 Oh, crap, HANNERS! Sven: "I much prefer that form of insanity to the murderous stabby kind." 1083 "Race you upstairs?" "Sure beats cryin'." 1084 Sven: "Oh #### she (Dora) really WOULD kill me." 1085 Who Yelled First? H: AH! Don't kill me! F: Just keep it quiet H: Stop threatening me! F: I'm not... H: Yelling at me? F: You're yelling! H: You're threatening! F: AH! H: AH! 1086 "Uh, sit-ups. I did a lot of sit-ups." (Penny's not getting it) 1087 Pintsize: "How many people get to stop Global Thermonuclear War for their birthday?" 1088 Faye makes an appointment with Dr. Corrine... in the Cave of a Million Asses? [Sign on wall: EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS BEFORE PUNCHING CUSTOMERS] 1089 Dr. Corrine: "Hang on, let me get some thumbtacks and colored string so we can diagram that..." 1090 THE PARALLELOGRAM: File:Parallelogram.png Dr.C: "What is it exactly that has you all freaked out?... The little voices in your head aren't always correct." Faye: "I got laid. Woo. High-five." 1091 Dr. Corrine: "If they hate you for this, they're not very good friends... if they're really your friends they'll understand." Faye: "Why does this have to be so COMPLICATED? ...Don't answer that." 1092 Marten & Dora's day in bed. "Submission slot" (hur hur) 1093 Hannelore can't keep secrets. Dora: "I'm not sure, but I have a sudden inexplicable urge to strangle my brother. That seldom bodes well." 1094 Faye: "Do you want to witness my violent death?" Pen: "Can you wait five minutes? I'll go make some popcorn." 1095 YOU SLEPT WITH HIM? Faye: "Although man, if I WERE a vindictive person, this would be pretty much the ultimate burn on you guys." Dora: "I'm aware." Pen: (munches on popcorn) 1096 Faye: "And, well, we hooked up." Marten: "You did?" Faye: "Yeah... (Dora's angry)" Marten: "It would be harder to stomach if I weren't getting hot hot Dora-sexin' on a regular basis." Faye: "Ever the pragmatist." 1097 Irrational girlfriend paranoia makes Marten a little CRANKY. 1098 I'M BEING IRRATIONAL??? (exit Marten) Wife of Pen's former boss at the bookstore gave him a concussion with the Slimarillion. 1099 Marten: Yeah, we know. Hanners: AHHHHH! Marten: "I'm sure you can catch up on your regular anxieties later." 1100 Going to the Horrible Revelation (first appearance) Marten & Hanners meet up with Steve; Steve: "I'm turning into MARTEN!" Hanners: "I'm scared of dopplegangers."
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