Adopted by all nations on Earth but the US, the metric system fills the dual role of measuring things and confounding Americans. Plus, it's just one more way to be not-American. Rather than having to remember how many inches are in a mile, how many Polski Ogorki pickles can fit into a VW Beetle, or any of the other obscure conversions necessary for imperial measurement (ironically also referred to as standard measurement), users of metric (or Metriconians) are smug in the knowledge that conversion in metric is a simple as shifting a decimal place.
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