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| - David Brent: [singing] Little while later I see a cowboy crying, I said, "Hey buddy, what can I do?" He says, "I lived a good life, had about a thousand women." I said "Why the tears?", he says "'cause none of them was you." Tim Canterbury: What, you? David: No, he's looking at a photograph. Tim: Of you? David: No, of his girlfriend. The video would have shown it. Tim: Sorry. It just sounds a bit gay. David: It's not gay! Rowan: I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager who just doesn't care, and... Rowan: Let me play it, just to kick things off. David: I'd like to make a complaint please Rowan: 362
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| abstract
| - David Brent: [singing] Little while later I see a cowboy crying, I said, "Hey buddy, what can I do?" He says, "I lived a good life, had about a thousand women." I said "Why the tears?", he says "'cause none of them was you." Tim Canterbury: What, you? David: No, he's looking at a photograph. Tim: Of you? David: No, of his girlfriend. The video would have shown it. Tim: Sorry. It just sounds a bit gay. David: It's not gay! Rowan: I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager who just doesn't care, and... David: Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty type character, well, er, maybe I should do it, just for the comedy. Rowan: Let me play it, just to kick things off. David: Yeah, well I'll probably bring something to this role anyway. David: I'd like to make a complaint please Rowan: Don't care David: Well I am staying at the hotel... Rowan: Don't care, it's not my shift David: Well you're an ambassador for the hotel... Rowan: I don't care David: I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is... Rowan: I don't ca... David: I think there's been a rape up there. [everyone watches, shocked; Gareth jots down notes] David: ...I got his attention. Get their attention. Rowan: Hello, I'd wish to make a complaint. David: Not interested. Rowan: My room is an absolute disgrace, the bathroom doesn't appear to have been cleaned. David: What room are you in? Rowan: 362 David: There is no 362 in this hotel... sometimes the complaints will be false. Rowan: Gareth, quick trust exercise, ultimate fantasy? Gareth Keenan: Hmm? David: We're just doing the ultimate fantasy, we're all doing it. Gareth: Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching. Rowan: OK. Erm. Tim? Do you have one? Tim: I'd never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth please? Gareth: All farmers have wives. Tim: This one doesn't, he's gay. Gareth: Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals should he? David: A postage stamp is legal tender. A bus driver would have to accept that as currency. Tim: Yeah. That'd happen! David: Well if he doesn't, report him. Tim: Yeah report him when I'm walking home. Gareth: Get a taxi if you've got enough stamps. Dawn: Or cash them in at a post office. David: Shouldn't have to! Shouldn't have to David: We’re both good in our own fields. I’m sure Texas couldn’t run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn’t do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on. Dawn: He proposed on a Valentine’s day, although he didn’t do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine message bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said ‘Lee love Dawn, marriage?’ which, you know I like, because it’s not often you get something that’s both romantic and thrifty.
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