Eating waffles is a very popular pastime among people aged young to old. Upon first analysis, that doesn't seem too outrageous. What's there to dislike? The syrup. The butter. The waffles. The fork. The knife. It's an experience that does not seem to warrant improvement. The only thing that would make it better would be if waffles weren't trying to destroy everything you love from the inside out with a reckless abandon previously thought to be completely impossible. Yes, but for the little caveat that waffles have no remorse about killing you and your family and/or friends depending which group you care about more, they're just the bee's knees. Peaches and cream. Waffles and syrup, if you will. But they're awful. And that's why it is official Uncyclopedia policy that you Don't Eat Waffles
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