abstract
| - The Doctor and Rose were planning on finding themselves in 1979, but they end up in 1879. In Scotland. And in the presence of Queen Victoria. Rose is in trouble for wearing a minidress, but David Tennant saves the day by speaking perfect Scottish and introducing himself as a Doctor. The Queen commands them to attend her as she goes to spend a relaxing evening in Torchwood House, a Scottish manor beset by werewolves and kung fu monks. The Doctor and Rose make a bet on who can get the Queen to say "We are not amused." Someone should get a handicap, though, because there isn't much at Torchwood House to amuse anyone. The Laird of the Manor drops unsubtle hints that they should go away. All the servants are terrified. The lonely bloodcurdling cry of a werewolf echoes across the moors. Rose is drugged and chained up in the cellar with the rest of the household staff, where a cage contains a boy possessed by an alien!werewolf: that is, an alien wolf... thing... that possesses human hosts. Its current plan is to possess Queen Victoria, thereby gaining the throne of England, and therefore THE WORLD!!! The remaining humans take refuge in the library, which the previous Laird had fortified against werewolves by soaking the wood in mistletoe oil. Now that's Crazy Prepared. Speaking of which, the Queen has thought to bring along the Koh-i-Noor diamond, which as it turns out was always meant to slot neatly into a telescope that -- again with the good fortune -- is not a telescope but a werewolf-melter. Also, the Queen suddenly has a cut on her hand after facing the wolf and refuses to show it to the Doctor. The Doctor realizes with glee that the royal family's unexplained and mysterious "haemophilia" may just suddenly a whole lot less unexplained and mysterious. Queen Victoria knights both the Doctor and Rose, and then immediately banishes them for their knowledge of the stars (then being considered Heresy) and tells them to "leave her world". After they leave, she announces the foundation of the Torchwood Institute. The Doctor will rue this day.
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