| abstract
| - Britta is throwing a Halloween pre-party party before the study group goes to the actual party. Abed and Troy show up as the Inspector and the Constable and Jeff shows up as one of those Fast and Furious guys. When he goes to leave, however, Britta stops him and reveals the truth. Remember those psychological evaluations Britta made everyone do? Well, she ran the numbers, and it turns out someone in the study group has homicidal tendencies. She claims that it's her directive as a psychology student to figure out this person and get them the treatment they need. The problem is that the tests were anonymous, so Britta devises a way to figure out the sociopath: tell scary stories, and see how everyone reacts. Britta's story starts off with Britta and Jeff making out in a car when they are informed by the radio that an escaped mental patient has escaped and he has a hook thingy for a hand (you know what I mean). Jeff gets out the car and the escaped mental patient kills him. Back at the study group, Abed complains that he didn't care for the characters, as they were stupid and didn't act like people actually would. So he tells his version of the story. Abed's story starts with the newlyweds Abed and Britta going to a cabin in the woods and sharing a kiss. Abed turns on the radio and listens to a song (because having the broadcast start immediately isn't realistic) before they are informed of the escaped mental patient. Abed calls the police with his fully charged cell phone and then they both stand in the middle of the cabin back-to-back holding knives. When the other members of the study group ask if the characters will get killed, Abed says yes, when it's earned. Annie gets annoyed that these aren't really scary stories so decides to tell her own. Annie's story starts with the fair maiden Annie getting rescued by the dashing Jeff. However, Jeff has a secret: he's actually a vampire with a thirst for blood (and a blood-deprived Britta in his closet) and...he can't read! Annie teaches him how to read, but then Jeff reveals that he will always be a monster...before Annie reveals that she's also a monster, a werewolf that preys on pretentious, self-obsessed vampires. Annie describes how the werewolf then eats Jeff, eating his eyeball while still attached to his optic nerve so he can see his own flesh being digested. And then she flossed her teeth with his entrails. Troy decides to tell a story that's "real." Troy's story starts with Troy and Abed as Top Gun fighter pilots who crashed in the woods and found a cabin populated by Pierce as a mad doctor. Doctor Pierce knocks them out and when they wake up, they are sewn together. They figure out that this gives them psychic powers, so they knock out Doctor Pierce and then eat a sandwich. When Doctor Pierce wakes up, they show that they put his butt on his chest and switched his feet and hands, giving him breasts that he can never play with due to his foothands. The actual Pierce gets fed up with his treatment in the story, so he tells his own. Pierce's story starts with "Magnum" (Pierce with a wig) and his harem of ladies who wish for more sex. Gangstas Troy and Abed barge in, but Magnum disarms them and beats them up with his gigantic penis. The real Troy says that this story wasn't even scary. Shirley says that she has an actual scary story from back when stories were about good versus evil. Shirley's story starts with a wild party with booze and drugs. Britta pours her carton of "weed" over her, but then their death metal is interrupted by heavy news on the radio: all the good people have been raptured up, leaving only the "cool" people. Outside, a rain of blood and plague of locusts is going on, but Britta writes it off--she's lived in New York, after all. Finally, the Devil (played by the Dean) shows up and tells them about their schedule of torments...until the spirit of Shirley arrives and blows the Dean Devil away. Shirley says that she's just come back to wish them goodbye and that she forgives them, then disappears. The Dean Devil comes back and real Shirley says that he then chainsawed them, sewn them back up, and then chainsawed them again...forever. Everyone gets fed up and decides to leave for the party when Britta tells them about the test results. They still want to leave, but she says that if they do, they could all get brutally murdered (describing the murders in detail), so that now the study group think Britta may be the mental disturbed one. Violence nearly breaks out until Jeff tries to tell his story: Jeff's story starts with the whole group having a good time until the escaped mental patient barges in to kill, but Jeff asks why he kills. The mental patient takes off his paper bag to reveal Chang who says that he kills because he is afraid. They all hug mental patient Chang. In the study room, the group proclaim that Jeff's story was lame and it doesn't help anything until Jeff reveals that he didn't even look at the questions on the test and just randomly filled in bubbles. They look at the test again and Annie tells Britta that she put the tests into the machine upside-down, so the results are all wrong. One hour later, Britta has redone all the tests...and all of them except one reveal that the test taker is mentally disturbed. The group decides not to know which one is the sane one so they can all think it is them and leave for the party. Afterwards, it's revealed the sane test belonged to Abed.
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