| abstract
| - We begin in McKinley, where Kurt, Burt and Carole tell Finn that Carole and Burt are getting married, and Kurt's planning the wedding. Finn doesn't seem amused. Burt tells Kurt that he can't be too extravagant as they're saving for a honeymoon. Finn pretends to be happy for them. Burt tells Kurt that he doesn't care about the food or the alcohol, but he wants a really good band, because he wants to dance with Carole. Kurt volunteers the Glee club. In her office, Sue is writing wedding invitations as she internally monologues about how this joyous occasion began with horror. Flashback to 'Sue's Corner', where at the end of her segment, Rod Remington and his co-host, Andrea, announce that they're getting married. After that, Sue asks why he humiliated her in public, as everyone knows they dated, and Andrea tells her that she'll die alone. End flashback. Sue internally monologues that she tried online dating, but there was only one match for her- herself. So, she's marrying herself. In the locker room, Finn and Sam talk. Sam's decided that he hates being slushied, so he's going to be quarterback again. Finn says that being quarterback won't do it, especially as Quinn won't be Sam's girlfriend. Sam's working on it- flashback to an earlier school day, where Sam offers Quinn a promise ring, vowing to be there for when she needs him. Quinn thinks he's crazy. In the hallway, we see Kurt's wedding plans are continuing. He's got a cake topper in his locker, for one. Finn comes over to ask him about the plans, in particular, should they actually be releasing three hundred live doves inside? Kurt says that they'll feed them glitter so the resulting mess will be festive. Finn's actually there to ask for ideas for his own problem, appearing 'leader-like'. Kurt suggests a mother and son dance. Finn objects on the grounds that he can't dance for shit, but Kurt convinces him. Karofsky appears, intimidates the fuck out of Kurt, and steals the cake topper. Schue gets Kurt into Principal Sue's office, where they have a talk in which after a lot of arguing, Sue basically says that she is powerless to help unless Karofsky actually physically harms Kurt, because if Kurt complains about the shoving, Karofsky will just argue that he stumbled and accidentally knocked Kurt. She calls Kurt 'Lady', he gets pissed, and she explains that she thought it was his name before allowing him to pick a new one out of 'Gelfling', 'Porcelain', or 'Tickle-Me-Doughface'. Kurt goes with 'Porcelain'. Good choice. In the music room, Rachel's called a meeting of herself, Tina, Brittany and Quinn. Why them? Because she's worried about Kurt, and since all of them have boyfriends on the football team, she wants them to get their boyfriends to team up and get Karofsky to fuck the hell off, so to speak. Santana walks in to ask why she was excluded, and Rachel says that it's because not only is she not really dating Puck, Puck might have to go back to juvie, so he's useless. In Sue's office, she sacks her wedding planner after explaining that Sue herself will be officiating. Sue's mother, Doris Sylvester, turns up. Wait, Sue has a mother? She's human? She isn't a Terminator? After that shock, Sue asks her mother why she's here. Doris explains that they finally caught the last Nazi. Sue asks her where the hell she's been for three years, and has she seen Jean? Doris says that she hasn't, but she will once she's found out what the hell is happening with Sue's wedding. To cut a long story short, Sue wasn't planning to invite her mother, but since her mother's here, she's welcome to attend. Doris announces that she's going to sing at Sue's wedding. Finn tells Rachel that he's not going to help the other Glee footballers take out Karofsky, because he'll get thrashed, and then Sam will be quarterback. In the locker room, Artie and Mike confront Karofsky, who shoves Mike into Artie's chair. The two of them go down, so Sam takes on Karofsky until Beiste breaks up the fight. In the music room, the Glee club talk about the fight, with Mercedes wondering where Finn was, and Kurt saying that he needs to do it alone. In the auditorium, Doris and Sue sing 'Ohio'. In the music room, Kurt's conducting a seminar on dance for his soon to be brother and father, both of whom aren't really known for their smooth moves. However, as soon as Kurt and Finn start to dance, Karofsky appears at the door and makes some rather obscene gestures. Burt wants to know all the info. Kurt tries to pretend that nothing's wrong, but nobody's buying it. Finally, he admits that not only has Karofsky been bullying him, he also made death threats. Burt goes berserk and gives Karofsky some threats of his own. Kurt and Finn drag him away, and everyone ends up... ...in Sue's office, where the meeting consists of Sue, Burt, Kurt, Finn, Karofsky and Karofsky's father Paul. Paul is surprisingly reasonable, admitting that Karofsky's been acting out at home and his grades have been sliding, so why shouldn't they believe Kurt? Burt tells Sue that it's her job to protect her students. Sue agrees and expels Karofsky for making death threats, adding that he can apply to the school board if he thinks it's unfair, but as for now he needs to get the hell off campus. Before the Hudson-Hummel wedding, Santana helps Finn with his clothes before telling him that he needs to be cooler, so maybe he should tell everyone that they had sex. Finn says he won't, finally admitting that it's because he lied to Rachel about it because he loves her. Santana asks if he can't see that Rachel's dragging him down and threatens to tell Rachel instead, before leaving. At the wedding, the Glee club perform 'Marry You'. The wedding begins, and the priest notes that Burt and Carole have forgone the prayers, instead choosing to offer their personal thoughts on the occasion. They basically talk about how they're going to be a family, and each of them will do their best to make sure that they'll be a good parent to their respective step-child, and they continue with the ceremony. At the reception, Will performs 'Sway' while Burt and Carole dance. Afterwards, he invites Finn up to the microphone for his toast to his parents. Finn gives a speech about how he's going to try to be a really good brother to Kurt, and then the Glee club performs 'Just The Way You Are' for Kurt. In the nursing home where Jean lives, the Sylvesters have gathered for a rehearsal of Sue's wedding. Doris thinks the whole thing's insane, and finally, she and Sue argue. Sue disinvites her for being a bitch, and she and Jean comfort each other. In the hallway, Sam and Quinn talk. She's wearing the promise ring he gave her, and accepts his offer to be there for her. In Sue's office, Sue, Carole, Burt and Kurt talk. To sum up, one or both of Karofsky's parents appealed to the school board, and as nobody actually witnessed Karofsky assaulting Kurt and the death threat, without evidence, the complaint pretty much amounted to 'he said/he said', so the school board allowed Karofsky to return. Kurt says that he can't go back to being bullied, and Sue agrees that his position is unacceptable. Because of this, she's resigning as principal so she can act as another pair of eyes, helping Kurt. Burt and Carole ask to talk to Kurt for a second. In the music room, Kurt walks in, thanks the Glee club for their efforts, and tells them how much they mean to him... which is why it'll be so hard for him to leave. Because Karofsky's coming back, he's moving to Dalton Academy. They beg him to stay, but he leaves.
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