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| - Announcer: And now it's time for "Bum Reviews" with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review: "Paranormal Activity 4." Chester: OH MY GOD, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life! (turns head) What was that? It's okay. It's just a-- SPOILERS! There's this film series called Paranormal Activimaty. And they've made an entire film series out of moving a door and telling us that it's scary! (Mimes opening creaky door) "The door moved!" "That's scary!" But this time around they've done something completely different. They've brought in a little boy to tell us that the door moved and it's scary! (Mimes opening creaky door again) "That little boy made the door move!" "That's scary!" But who is this little boy? Well, he used to live next door to this family who also can't stop filming everything that goes on in their lives. But unfortunately the little boy's mother is taken to the hosmitimal. So the family's like, "We'll just take care of this little boy because he has nobody else to care for him!" "Don't you think that's a little weird?" "No." "Do you even know the mother?" "No." "Couldn't the police who apparently found the mother have put the boy in more specialized care?" "Nope." "You don't see anything going wrong with this at all-- (is slapped) Ow!" So the little boy's name is Robbie, and he's like, "I am just your everyday, standard little boy." "You look like a creepy spawn of Satan." "Don't talk about father that way." So the boy likes to play with the family's son. And the son is like, "Look, when I turn on the night vision with the Kinect, I can see all these little dots!" "Why is that interesting?" "Because not only will it create some creepy scares, we could also get a sponsor out of it!" "Toy marketing in these movies is the real monster!" "Oh good, you mean we're finally gonna see one of the monsters in this movie?" "No!" "Aww." But the girl in the family is like, "Mom, I don't trust that little boy. He's incredibly suspicious, and all this bad stuff has been happening ever since he turned up. We have to do something!" "I would like to, honey, but we're the idiot downers in this movie. Your father and I are going to deny you every single chance we get. Now, if you'll excuse me, we're going to do the benign tango!" "Come, darling!" (singing and dancing) "Benign, benign, we're so benign!" So Robbie is trying to convince the son that he actually has a different name. "Your name is Hunter." "Kotakinte." "Your name is Hunter!" "Kotakinte!" "Your name is Hunter!" "Actually, Hunter sounds good. Okay, I'm Hunter." And then something really creepy happens in the kitchen. The mother's knife flies up, and we don't see it for a while! OH MY GOD, when is it gonna drop?! Is it gonna be when somebody's looking over there, or maybe when someone-- (knife drops) Huh, that was anti-climatic. But then Robbie's mother finally comes home. But it's Katie from the other movies! AHHHH! (long pause) Wait, how does that make sense? Katie originally left with Hunter. Now she has another kid, and Hunter got adopted by another family? When did she lose Hunter? That doesn't seem like a woman who could easily lose her kid! If anyone tried to take her kid away, she'd be like, "Photoshop face!" (Scary face is put over his) Ah! (collapses) But okay, she eventually gets Robbie back and they bring the Hunter kid with him. But the daughter is like, "Oh my God, my brother's been kidnapped and my father just went inside that place where he's yelling and screaming and someone's obviously killing him! There's only one thing to do in this situation! (mimes calling) Hello, police? Yes, just letting you know I'm going into a place completely alone without an adult. Later!" "Wait, you idiot!" So she sneaks into the house where Katie sees her and tries to eat her. But the girl is like, "I'll show you! I'm gonna run through this entire house and escape through this window all while using the camera! (Mimes awkwardly doing this) Seriously, I should just tape a webcam to my head." So she tries to bring Hunter with her, but he won't come. And when she turns around what does she see? A big, angry crowd of pissed off women! OH MY GOD, it's the PMS parade! "My God, they're all angry monsters who won't listen to rhyme or reason!" And then Katie grabs the girl and is like, "All we wanted was a hug! Arrgh!" (Mimes eating, cut to black) The End! Boy, those trailers were right. All the Paranormal Activity movies have been building up to this! (pause) Another build-up for another sequel! But at least so many questions have finally been answered. Like where did Katie get that Robbie kid? Why is it only a group of women were possessed at the end? How did Katie lose Hunter in the first place? Oh wait, those aren't answers. Those are more friggin' questions! There's more questions in these movies than a game show! Maybe this is all just a nightmare that one of the Blair Witch kids is having. Except the nightmare isn't happening to them, it's happening to the rest of the world. But it's scary either way! This is Chester A. Bum saying CHANGE?! Ya got change?! Aw c'mon, help a guy out, will ya? C'mon, change! At least see "Paranormal Activity 5" with me! This time I hear an actual window opens up!
- Alex Nelson films her younger brother, Hunter Rey/Wyatt's, soccer match. At Alex's house, she shows her boyfriend Ben the tree house in the garden. Here they discover Robbie, the neighbor's child. Puzzled as to why he is there, she takes him back to his own house across the street. In the early hours of the next morning, Alex hears an ambulance outside at Robbie's house. That day, Robbie turns up at the house after Alex's mom, Holly Nelson, offered to look after him for a few days, while Robbie's mother is admitted to hospital. Later on, Alex finds Wyatt and Robbie in her treehouse talking to Robbie's invisible friend who Robbie calls Toby. In the evening, Wyatt plays multi-player on the Kinect by himself, while Robbie sits on the sofa. Ben asks who Wyatt is playing with and Robbie answers that it's the invisible friend from the tree house. Ben turns the lights off and shows Wyatt the infra-red tracking dots. As Alex, Ben and Wyatt dance in the dark, Robbie sits on the sofa, where the camera detects an unknown figure moving next to him. The next day Ben reveals to Alex that his computer automatically records their webcam chats, and in the middle of the night while Alex was sleeping, Robbie came in and slept next to her. Baffled by his odd behavior, Ben offers to install laptops around the house to record any other strange occurrences. Over the next couple of days, the computer records strange events around the house, including Robbie waking up in the middle of the night to talk to the TV, and Robbie and Wyatt chasing the silhouette of a small child figure throughout the house. Robbie draws a strange symbol on Wyatt's back, which Alex later finds to be part of an old cult (first appeared in Paranormal Activity 3). Late one night Alex notices several black cars outside Robbie's house across the street; upon investigating, she discovers several women in black garb entering the house. She is confronted by one of these women and flees the scene. The next day Alex is home alone, and after hearing noises, follows them to the hallway, where the chandelier falls from the ceiling and smashes into the floor, almost striking her. Although her father Doug Nelson blames the light fitters, Alex is suspicious of Robbie. The following day, Alex sees Robbie and Wyatt entering Robbie's house across the street. Alex follows them to discover that Robbie's mother Katie Featherston is actually home, and shows no sign of illness. Wyatt tells Alex that Katie told him he was adopted, like Robbie. Alex questions her parents about Wyatt's real parents, but they refuse to say anything. Later that night, Wyatt begins talking to an invisible figure, insisting that his name isn't Hunter. During this conversation a figure approaches him, but is interrupted when Doug enters the room. The next day, Alex is home alone talking with Ben on the computer when suddenly the garage door opens. She goes to the garage and closes the door and goes back to the kitchen when the garage door opens again. She goes back to the garage and suddenly the garage door slams shut and so does the other door and the car turns on, filling the garage with Carbon Dioxide. Meanwhile, Wyatt is hiding in the bathroom connected to his room as Katie walks in and asks him to come out, using the name Hunter. She then tells him that she'll wait for him until he's ready. Meanwhile, in the garage, Alex picks up a golf club and smashes a window in the car, goes into the car and drives it through the garage door, giving herself fresh air. Her parents come and aren't convinced by her story. Later that same day, Holly takes Wyatt for a bath and leaves him alone when he is violently pulled under and after a couple minutes he comes back up calm and sedated. That night, Wyatt walks into Alex's room and watches as she levitates above the ground. The next day, Holly is alone, and begins to hear strange noises. A possessed Katie enters the house undetected, and heads upstairs. When Holly enters the lounge an unseen entity suddenly picks her up and violently throws her against the walls, before dropping her on the floor. Katie returns to drag her body away. Ben later arrives to discover no one is home. He goes to view the footage in Alex's bedroom, but Katie appears behind him and snaps his neck. Alex and her father arrive, and he thinks he sees Alex's mother with Wyatt walking to Katie's house. As he goes to explore Alex goes home to discover Ben's body. She runs out of the house and over to Katie's house to warn her dad, but witnesses him being dragged violently through the house by the unseen entity. She runs to a bedroom at the far end of the house but can't find his body. As she turns around to head back out, Katie appears who storms forwards, demonically screaming to Alex. Alex quickly runs and climbs out of the window where she discovers Wyatt standing outside. She pleads with him to run away with her, but he stands there, blank faced and unmoved, just as numerous blank-faced people appear in Katie's garden. Alex turns the other way only to be attacked by a screaming Katie before the camera cuts out.
* Post-credit ending
- The fourth film in the supernatural franchise. It is a direct sequel to the first film, Paranormal Activity.
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