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| - :Stan: [after Barry hits the windshield] I see one tear, Fatty, and I'm doing it again.
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:Snot: This is crazy, Steve. Your dad is gonna kill us all.
:Steve: Your dad shot your mom in the face with a flare gun! [pauses] I'm sorry, Snot. I don't mean to keep going there.
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:Snot: I think it's possible there just might be something wrong with your dad.
:Steve: Oh, yeah? There's something wrong with your dad, too. Your dad left you!
:Snot: Uh, I'm not comparing dads. I'm just saying yours is in his underwear swatting at invisible owls.
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:Hayley: You have a crush on the liquor store girl?
:Roger: Oh, heavens, yes! That's why I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend so she'll get jealous and want me for herself.
:Hayley: Roger, I'm not sure that'll...
:Roger: Hayley, you gotta help, you just gotta!
:Hayley: Okay, I'll go down there with you.
:Roger: God bless you. You're an angel. Now go dress like a woman. I have heels if you need to borrow.
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:Stan: Men don't do what they like. Men get wives and jobs to keep them from what they like.
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:Hayley: Get off me, you cow!
:Francine: I'll spit in your lazy eye!
:Hayley: I had that corrected!
:Francine: I can still tell!
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:Stan: I, sir, will not stay at a Red Roof Inn!
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:Francine: oh, really? Cause all I see is tissue boobs!
:Roger: Fakies
:Hayley: Well, you know what I see? Crow's feet!
:Roger: Age-deifying make-up.
:Hayley: Hag!
:Francine: Tramp!
:Roger: Ladies, please. No violence.
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:Barry: [looking at his horse] Mr. Smith, my unicorn is broken!
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