Hi, kids! Welcome to Military Training with Joseph Kony! I'm Joseph Kony, the one and only, "Kony The Ugandan Hero". And it's so very splediwonderiffic to have you with me today! Before we begin, I just want to let you know that you shouldn't pay any mind to those guards by the door. They may look big and scary, but they've been instructed to shoot you only if you misbehave. Second, I don't want those chains on your feet to any way hinder your ability to have the utmost fun in this session. You can clap and cheer and sing praises to my name all you want! Yep. All you want, anytime you want. ...
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| - Hi, kids! Welcome to Military Training with Joseph Kony! I'm Joseph Kony, the one and only, "Kony The Ugandan Hero". And it's so very splediwonderiffic to have you with me today! Before we begin, I just want to let you know that you shouldn't pay any mind to those guards by the door. They may look big and scary, but they've been instructed to shoot you only if you misbehave. Second, I don't want those chains on your feet to any way hinder your ability to have the utmost fun in this session. You can clap and cheer and sing praises to my name all you want! Yep. All you want, anytime you want. ...
- Joseph Rao Kony (pronounced IPA: [koɲ]; born sometime between July and September of 1961) is the head of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), a Ugandan guerrilla group. While initially enjoying strong public support, the LRA allegedly turned on its own supporters, supposedly to "purify" the Acholi people and turn Uganda into a theocracy. Kony proclaims himself the spokesperson of God and a spirit medium, has nurtured a cult of personality, and claims he is visited by a multinational host of 13 spirits, including a Chinese phantom. Ideologically, the group is a syncretic mix of mysticism, Acholi nationalism, Islam, and Christian fundamentalism, and claims to be establishing a theocratic state based on the Ten Commandments and local Acholi tradition.
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| - Thought to have 88 wives as of 2007
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| - Christian ; Holy Spirit Movement
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| - Thought to have 42 children as of 2006
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| - Leader of the Lord's Resistance Army
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| - Joseph Rao Kony (pronounced IPA: [koɲ]; born sometime between July and September of 1961) is the head of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), a Ugandan guerrilla group. While initially enjoying strong public support, the LRA allegedly turned on its own supporters, supposedly to "purify" the Acholi people and turn Uganda into a theocracy. Kony proclaims himself the spokesperson of God and a spirit medium, has nurtured a cult of personality, and claims he is visited by a multinational host of 13 spirits, including a Chinese phantom. Ideologically, the group is a syncretic mix of mysticism, Acholi nationalism, Islam, and Christian fundamentalism, and claims to be establishing a theocratic state based on the Ten Commandments and local Acholi tradition. Kony has been accused by government entities of ordering the abduction of children to become child-sex slaves and child soldiers. An estimated 66,000 children became soldiers and two million people have been internally displaced since 1986. Kony was indicted for war crimes and crimes against humanity by the International Criminal Court in The Hague, Netherlands, in 2005 but has evaded capture. The LRA operates in Uganda, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Central African Republic and South Sudan.
- Hi, kids! Welcome to Military Training with Joseph Kony! I'm Joseph Kony, the one and only, "Kony The Ugandan Hero". And it's so very splediwonderiffic to have you with me today! Before we begin, I just want to let you know that you shouldn't pay any mind to those guards by the door. They may look big and scary, but they've been instructed to shoot you only if you misbehave. Second, I don't want those chains on your feet to any way hinder your ability to have the utmost fun in this session. You can clap and cheer and sing praises to my name all you want! Yep. All you want, anytime you want. No clapping or cheering or praises? It's all right. I'll force encourage it from you later. Now, the first and most important thing you need to know about before you join my team is the golden rule of forgiveness. It might have been a little dickish for me to kill your families and burn your villages down, but I'm human. I make mistakes, and making those mistakes several thousand times without any sign of remorse shouldn't make it any harder for you to say "I forgive you" when I apologize. So, let's try it out right now. I'm sorry. ... You're... a quiet bunch... aren't you?
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