Needs work, I know. -- 17:42, February 23, 2012 (UTC)
| Attributes | Values |
|---|
| rdfs:label
| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Snips, snails and puppy dog tails
|
| rdfs:comment
| - Needs work, I know. -- 17:42, February 23, 2012 (UTC)
|
| dcterms:subject
| |
| Mcomment
| - I like the article as it is. Hopefully you can expand on it, and tweak it a little, but to be blunt it's already really good.
|
| Pcomment
| - All good, but I didn't go through a full spell-check. It may be an idea to play with the format in relationship to images, but I'll go into that more below.
|
| Icomment
| - Probably the one downfall in an otherwise fantastic article. I do love the first image, and the final one . That middle image is just odd though.
I think one of the factors that works here is the cuteness aspect. I'd like to see the sections on Snips, Snails and Puppy dog tails with cutesy images like the other two on there, and done so that each section had it's own image and having the image size work with the text to match.
|
| Pscore
| |
| Ccomment
| - I'm not sure if this is a difference in nationality or anything, but I've always known the rhyme to be slugs and snails and puppy-dog tails. It was a rhyme that gained a little popularity in the schoolyard as a kid, as it was a part of the equalising between the difference in genders for kids that hadn't hit puberty, and as such had only just realised that there was a difference in genders.
This is one of the major elements of the original line - that it creates a point of differentiation between the genders. while the concept of taking this literally is fantastic , the ability to then extend this to be used as part of the men vs women debate would be the next step.
I'd also be looking at a little more in the cloning aspect. What you have is a very short section on what could be a much larger aspect.
One other thing I'd be tempted to bring into the article - which is probably just because it's more my style - is the Christian creation myth. Have the whole thing of Adam being created from dirt being a euphemism for the snails used in his initial creation, and how man had to be created after the animals as there was no way to create him prior to the creation of puppies and snails. The snip is actually the "breath of life" that the bible refers to.
I'd then swing from there to the fact that Judaism is passed down the maternal line, and that women are much more valued in the Jewish community as a result - hence the whole "Jewish princess" stereotype. The circumcising of men in the Jewish community is actually a primitive form of eugenics, where they are trying to reduce the potential of male children being born.
|
| Cscore
| |
| Mscore
| |
| Hcomment
| - I don't agree that it needs that much work. To be honest, if you went over it and did a general tidy-up of it now, I think you would have a feature article there.
The jokes in here are well done, snap to the point and keep people going throughout the entire article with no real issues to speak of. There are no lines - if any, that I would be looking at trimming out of there.
The only issue - if it can be called that - is that I'm left wanting a bit more. I'll throw a few things at you in concept, but that's the only humour deficit that I can see.
|
| Iscore
| |
| Hscore
| |
| dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
| |
| Signature
| - ·18px|link=User:PuppyOnTheRadio (06:06 12-03-12)
|
| abstract
| - Needs work, I know. -- 17:42, February 23, 2012 (UTC)
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)