| ShortSummary
| - 6.0
- -7.0
- Stephen is proud to announce that Stephen Jr., an eagle named by the San Francisco Zoo, has started on a course back to America after flying to Canada, with extra incentive of Eagle Porn. Colbert then blames the Republican defeat on Gail Parker's annoying jingle, and introduces "Stephen Colbert's Kid Activity Corner" and shows how to make a Nancy Pelosi Hand Turkey.
- Stephen introduces a new segment called "Who's riding my coattails now?" because he feels ripped off by being included in Jeopardy! and because indie rock band The Decemberists announced a "green screen challenge" like he did months before. Angry about this he asks the viewers to compete in the challenge and edit his lightsaber-challenge into the The Decemberists' video. After the Word and the break there is the second part of his new three-part series "The Alabama Miracle", this time featuring the opening of the "Stephen Colbert Museum and Gift Shop".
- Dr. Colbert has two cakes ready, depending on who wins allowing his Jewish friend to share the hour with him. Colbert describes the Colbert Bump. Rep. Robert Wexler and Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton return as special guests. The victory effects Our Glorious Stephen in patriotic ways. For the full Balltastic details, go to The Daily Show and the Colbert Report Present the Midterm Midtacular
- Stephen is featured in GQ, then talks about the Pope's visit to Turkey. His staff discovered Colbert County, Alabama and Stephen sent his building manager Tad to go there and open a museum in his honor in a new three-part-series "The Alabama Miracle".
- A distraught Colbert opens the show by noting that nothing important happened except a strong rain and Britney Spears's breakup with Kevin Federline. In order to alleviate his anger, he strikes a blue donkey pinata with a bat. Stephen is completely silent during the Wørd, during which the bullet points describe his thoughts on the results of the Midterm Elections. Newly-elected John Hall, who was profiled in a Better Know a District segment, returns and sings the National Anthem. A new Tek Jansen theme song is unveiled and the episode closes with a montage of the now-dead Republican majority.
- Stephen pines for Matthew McConaughey to be reinstated as Sexiest Man Alive, scorns Deck the Halls, Black Christmas (2006), and It's a Wonderful Life, and speaks to Richard Linklater about Fast Food Nation
- Colbert opens the show by commenting on Saddam Hussein's death sentence by Hanging and pushes viewers to vote republican. A net of red balloons are hung above the set, but no blue ones since he felt it wasn't necessary. He notes that if the republicans don't win the house after the midterm elections, no balloons would be falling. He brings out two children who want a balloon drop and urges people to vote republican. Colbert then tells the viewers what to expect while voting and ends by having a fireside chat about absentee ballots.
- Stephen talks about candidates for the 2008 presidential election, especially attacking declared candidate Tom Vilsack on his new segment "Vilsack Attack". He then talks about the racist remarks by Michael Richards with P.K. Winsome, his favorite black Republican interviewee. After the break he informs about new merchandise with his name on and then his new three-part series "The Alabama Miracle" concludes with a report on how the museum fails.
- Stephen starts the episode with reiterating his support for Putin '08. He then urges Senator John McCain to choose life and warns him about the alternative - President Hillary Clinton. Stephen then talks about President Bush bringing in his father's think-tank in to alleviating the situation in Iraq. This leads to the Word: Back off, Old Man!
Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger .
- Stephen opens with a "Shout Out!" to Michael Rehm , a cook at the Amundsen-Scott Station in Antarctica and Colbert fan. The red balloons are finally dropped in an attempt to hide news of the Republican loss from Michael, and this is followed by the "South Pole Minute". During the Wørd, Stephen pushes for U.S. President Putin in 2008. A video segment about the "only" black Republican, "P.K. Winsome: A Journey Home", in which P.K. visits Harlem to rally the GOP base there. Finally, Stephen interviews inventor Dean Kamen while seated in an iBot, a sophisticated wheelchair of Kamen's design.
- Al Franken gloats about the Democrats' Congressional victory; Franken claims credit for saving Rush Limbaugh's life for calling him a big fat idiot. Better Know a Founder with Thomas Jefferson - three look-alikes, after being judged on their fashion sense by Tim Gunn, compete in America's Top Jefferson. Stephen fights paleontologist Mike Novacek over the existence of dinosaurs.
- Stephen starts with restating that Vladimir Putin should run for President in 2008 and checking his recordings on his TiVo DVR . After the Word, there is a "Threat Down!" on toys. They are the 100 hoops basketball toy, the Barbie: My Scene head model, Target (store), Toys for Tots, and the Nintendo Wii
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| IntroPhrase
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- "Allright Stoners, start your copy of "The Dark Side of the Moon"...now! This is the Colbert Report!"
- "I'm off next week, so savor me like the last rose of summer. This is The Colbert Report."
- "I'm going to drop the truth on you like Denise Richards' laptop on an old lady's head!"
- "Tonight, the show is in...3D! Unless you are watching on a television. This is the Colbert Report!"
- "Hey, TV-Land-catchphrase-contest, try this one on for size: This is the Colbert Report!"
- "I just finished my resume. If anyone asks, this show has been on for 30 years. This is The Colbert Report!"
- "Call me, Reese Witherspoon. This is the Colbert Report!"
- "I’m Stephen Colbert, and I approve this message. This is The Colbert Report!"
- "It's the first day of November sweeps, and I'm pregnant!"
- "Sorry Cookie Monster, 'C' is for Colbert. This is the eponymous report!"
- "The days are getting shorter and shorter, and the Democrats have only been in power for a week. This is The Colbert Report!"
- "I'm rested, well-fed and looking for a fight. Are you listening, yet-to-be-named-chairman of the House's intelligence committee? This is the Colbert Report."
- "I told you America, a hard rain’s gonna fall. This is The Colbert Report!"
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