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| - Nakayama: It's been FOREVER and I still haven't gotten a reply from Jack. Maybe he needs to know I'm for realz. Ooh, ooh! Go find some paint and give it to a claptrap unit. I have an idea! Nakayama: There should be some paint in the claptrap servicing station. Nakayama: Great! Now give that paint to a claptrap and ask it to draw an image of my adoration -- a testament to the man who brought me here! Yellow's his favorite color, and appearances matter so if everything's yellow he'll love me! Nakayama: Find a claptrap near Jack's office! After the robot makes the painting, Jack will walk by it EVERY DAY! Worker CL4P-TP: Look at these schmucks, willing away their digital lives at a computer. HA! Thank the Almighty Robot Policeman I'm not stuck at a desk like THESE jokers! Nakayama: That one! He's not busy! He can create my MASTERPIECE!
* Athena (if present): Uhhh... Nakayama wants you to draw something that shows how much he likes Jack.
* Wilhelm (if present): Some scientist wants to diddle Jack. Wants you to draw somethin' romantic or... somethin'.
* Nisha (if present): Egghead's got a thing for Jack, for obvious reasons. Need you to draw something that'll get him to second base with the big man.
* Claptrap (if present): Think you could draw something that shows the depths to which Nakayama would go to impress Jack!
* Jack2 (if present): Uhhh, just... draw Jack lookin' pretty or somethin'. This is all... REALLY weird to me.
* Aurelia (if present): Hello! Draw a picture of Jack so that an incredibly awkward romance may blossom. Worker CL4P-TP: Awww! I wanted to dance! Worker CL4P-TP: Who knew I could paint as well as I could dance? Jack: What the hell is that claptrap painting? It looks like a skag dry-humping a vending machine! Nice color, though. I'll get it washed off later. Nakayama: Rrgh, he doesn't understand! Let's send him some flowers -- go find a few I've planted around the station. Nakayama: I planted these flowers myself. My doctorate's actually in horticulture, I just pretended to be a geneticist so Jack would hire me. Ugh, I love him so hard -- What? I didn't say anything. What? Nakayama: Mmm... blood orchids. They symbolize death, and permanence, and... open-mouth kissing. Nakayama: Alright! That's all of the flowers we'll need. Just leave them outside of Jack's office! Nakayama: Wonderful! He'll HAVE to acknowledge those. He can't miss them! He'll finally notice me! Hyperion: Fire hazard. Flowers blocking entrance to office. Please immolate flowers to prevent fire hazard. Nakayama: What? No... Nakayama: NOOOOOOOO! Jack: Alright, who the hell's been defacing my station? Show yourself! Nakayama: It's me, sir! Professor Nakayama. I'm the gene-- Jack: --Yeahyeah. Don't care. You're pissing me off with youw weird hijinx, Nakytama. Cut it out or I'll have you forcefed into a weapon grinder. Friggin' jackass. Nakayama: Did you hear that? He almost pronounced my name correctly! That means he pretty much LOVES me! Come on back! WE DID IT! Nakayama: I DID IT! Jack and I will be together FOREVER! AHAHAHA!
* Athena (if present): You have my pity.
* Wilhelm (if present): You're weird, dude.
* Nisha (if present): Man, it is really gonna break your heart when I hit that.
* Claptrap (if present): Man, what a loser! And that means a lot coming from ME.
* Jack2 (if present): H'okay, walking away now, in fear for my life…
* Aurelia (if present): Oh, he's an absolute buffoon. Breaks the heart. Almost.
- Mordecai: Alright, dude. Ready? Rigby: I was born ready. Now stop talking and hit me! Mordecai: With precision... Rigby: Dude, that was like really close this time! Mordecai: Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of the tension and... oh, hey Benson. Benson: (yells) DID YOU PUT PIZZA ALL OVER THIS HOUSE?! Don't deny it! I saw you! I saw you put pizza all over this house! (Circles around Rigby) And you - you're just as guilty! Don't think I didn't see you do the whole thing! Guess what -YOU WHAT?! You're cleaning it too, don't worry! Benson (continued): (yell, splat!) YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! Benson (continued): (yells) This is a pressure washer! Do you know how to use it? You better, otherwise, I'm gonna fire you! Mordecai: (Sighs) Alright, let's get this over with. Rigby: Come on; I want to use the wand. Mordecai: No way, dude. It's a power washer. You need to have power to control it. You're too small for this thing. Rigby: Come on, I got a low center of gravity. Nothing can knock me over. (Mordecai pushes him down) Oof! Mordecai: Alright, dude. Give me some juice, but start slow! Mordecai (continued): Ok, this is good. Rigby: Are you sure you don't want it higher? There are all these other numbers on here! Mordecai: Nope. Rigby: I can't take this! I'm turning it up! Mordecai: No! Don't do it! Rigby: I can help! Benson: So I can pick up my car tommorrow? That's great! Rigby: Mordecai, help! Mordecai: Dude, I'm trying! Rigby: Dude, who turned it off? Mordecai: Oh, no. Mordecai: Sorry, Benson. We know. Rigby: Yeah. We'll re-paint some of the messed up parts. Benson: That's not good enough! You have to re-paint the whole thing or the paint won't match! Mordecai and Rigby: What?! Rigby: But the whole thing's like the size of the house! Benson: Yeah. That's the idea. You have till the end of the weekend. Mordecai and Rigby: UGH! Rigby: Geez, typical Benson, right dude? Mordecai: Whatever. Let's just get started. Rigby: You know, I was right there with you until the whole "get started" part. We got all weekend! Let's go play some video games. You know, bro out. Mordecai: No. Rigby: Have some bro time. Mordecai: Rigby! Rigby: Get in the bro zone? Mordecai: Just stop it, okay? Rigby: Alright, what gives? Mordecai: I got plans with CJ tommorrow, and now I'll have to ditch her because you never listen to me. I don't have time for this kinda junk anymore, okay? Rigby: Come on, dude. I bet we can finish it all today. Then you can still see CJ tommorrow. I mean, we paint stuff all the time, right? Mordecai: I don't know. Rigby: We get some tunes, some suiters, and bro it out like a couple bros. Mordecai: (chuckles) Alright, dude. Classic bro time. Let's do it. Mordecai: Ugh! We're not gonna finish this today! You totally tricked me with your bro talk. Rigby: Relax. You'll still be able to hang out with CJ. Mordecai: How will I do that if I'm stuck here painting walls all day? This wouldn't have happened if you just listened to me in the first place! Rigby: Okay. I can see how this is kinda my fault. Mordecai: Kinda? Rigby: Ok, ok. More than kinda. Look, you go hang out with CJ. I'll finish this up. Mordecai: Yeah, right. The whole thing? Rigby: It's ok. I got this. Mordecai: Really? Rigby: Yeah, no problem. Mordecai: (sternly) Really? Rigby: Yeah, you go. Bros helping bros. Mordecai: (sighs) Well, thanks. (walks off) I'll see you when it's done. Rigby: Alright! Solo bro. Uno bro. Bro number one. Bro number two is with his lady. And that's cool with bro number one. Brody bro bro bro. One bro. (pauses, then goes inside) Time for a bro break. RGB2: I hope you saved room for desert! Carter: Oh, we always save room...for donuts! Carter & Briggs: Aw yeyeyeyeeyeah! Announcer: Return to "Carter & Briggs meet RGB2" after these messages. Rigby: Woah! Voice: (whispering) What is it that you need? (echo) Stealth. (echo) Voice (continued): Paint your house for free. (echo) Stealth. (echo) Announcer: This week only, be a part of our new experimental test phase and we'll paint your house for FREE! Call now! Voice: Stealth. (echo) Announcer: (swiftly) A substidiary of the US government. Rigby: Huh? Rigby (continued): What the-?! Stealth Co. Agent: Afternoon, citizen. Rigby: Who are you? Stealth Co. Agent: I'm a Stealth Co. agent from Stealth Co. Coporation. Rigby: Wait, I was just calling a Stealth Co. about getting my house painted. Stealth Co. Agent: I know. Just need you to sign the contract. Rigby: Ok. Rigby (continued): Dude, this is like a million pages long! Stealth Co. Agent: (flips page) Just sign here to get started. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): (flips page again) And here. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Uh, initials here for us to paint the inside. Rigby: And it's still free, right? Stealth Co. Agent: Mm-hmm. Rigby: (places initials) Nice! Stealth Co. Agent: Fingerprint here. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Retinal scan. Aaaaaand blood sample. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Excellent, you are a true patriot. We'll be done in a few hours. Go ahead, go relax. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): And please accept this complimentary fleece pullover, courtesy of Stealth Co. Rigby: Wow! CJ: I don't know, it's just one of those things where it's like, "whoa". You know? Mordecai: (chuckles) Yeah, I totally know. Rigby: Hey, Mordecai. Mordecai: Shouldn't you be painting the house? Rigby: Oh, should I? (to Eileen) Your most relaxing drink, please. Eileen: I'm on it. Mordecai: Yes, you should. Quit messin' around and go finish the job! Rigby: You can call off you dogs, Mordecai. I'm done. Because I listened to you. CJ: See? You have nothing to worry about. Mordecai: Yeah, alright. Cool. Thanks, Rigby. Rigby: No problembro. Rigby (continued): Eileen, this is just hot water. Eileen: It's good for your digestion. Mordecai: So what do you wanna do for the rest of the weekend? Rigby: I don't know. Maybe check out that loaded potato place. Mordecai: (looks ahead) What?! Rigby: It's a baked potato filled with stuff. Mordecai: No, look. Rigby, where's the house? Rigby: I don't know. It's supposed to be right- ooh! Rigby (continued): Ow! What happened? Mordecai: Okay, this is weird. What did you do? Rigby: I...You know, I just hired some professionals. Mordecai: Rigby! Mordecai: Woah. What? What kind of guys did you hire? Rigby: Professional guys! They seemed legit! I even signed this contract. Mordecai: Rigby, this says "Stealth Co."! They made our house stealth! Rigby: (gasps) What does stealth mean? Mordecai: Aaah! I can't believe you didn't even read the contract. Rigby: They gave me the gist of it! Rigby (continued): Look, the Stealth Co. guy is right there. We'll just tell him to fix it. Mordecai: Hey, dude. This isn't...what we...want- Mordecai (continued): What the- Rigby: Where is he? Stealth Co. Agent: Over here. Mordecai: Is that a piece of cardboard? Stealth Co. Agent: Good eye, citizen. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Mmm-hmm. Yes, these are satisfying results. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): As per our agreement, your house is no longer detectable by radar. Mordecai: Yeah, or our eyes! Look, there was a misunderstanding. We don't want this! Stealth Co. Agent: Well, that's perfect. The test phase is over, and on order to protect our forumla, we will be destroying the product. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): As per our agreement, you will be reimbursed $500, minus jet-refueling fees, which adds up to..64 cents. Rigby: Jet-refueling fees? Mordecai: Wait. When are you removing the paint? Stealth Co. Agent: Let's wrap it up, boys! Pilot: (on walkie talkie) Roger that. Stealth Co. Agent: The jets will be here momentarily to destroy the house. Mordecai and Rigby: What?! Rigby: Well, well, how are you gonna blow up an invisible house, man? Stealth Co. Agent: With this tracking device. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Granny shot! I would retreat to a safe distance if I were you. Stealth Co. Agent (continued): Smoke bomb. (echo) Mordecai: Dude, we gotta get that rackiing device. Rigby: Way ahead of ya! Mordecai: Rigby, stop! We just have to get inside and get up there. Rigby: No, I got it! Mordecai: Rigby! Rigby: I got it! Mordecai: Dude, just do what I'm saying! Rigby: No! I can do it myself! I can be a solo bro! Mordecai: What are you talking about? Rigby: We were supposed to do this together. Like we always do. Mordecai: Then why did you say I could leave? Rigby: 'Cause you got your whole "CJ" thing, and I wanted to help. It just kind of feels like we don't hang out like we used to. Mordecai: Look, sometimes I'm gonna be doing other things. But you're my best friend. I'm not ditchin you, dude. Rigby: We're gonna die! Mordecai: We gotta get inside the house! Mordecai: Dude, it's the stairs! Rigby: It's the end of the hall! Mordecai: That means the attiic's right above us! Mordecai (continued): Where's the cord? Mordecai (continued): Got it! Rigby: What was that? Mordecai: I don't know, Rigby. Maybe it's the broken attic ladder you said you'd fix last week. Rigby: Quit living in the past, man! Pilot: Appraching target. Mordecai: Come on. I'll boost you up. Rigby: I don't know my way around the attic! Mordecai: What, are you gonna boost me up there? Just listen to me and I'll guide you. Rigby: Fine! Rigby (continued): Now what? Mordecai: The window's that way! Mordecai (continued): Watch out for the mirror! Left! Right! Turntable! Bird cage! Low-hanging beam! Mousetrap! Cobwebs! Close your mouth! Exposed wire! The window's in front of you! Benson: Ah. This buttered popcorn is good. Benson (continued): Huh? Benson (continued): Hey! Get down from there! It's not safe! Pilot: Target in sight. Mordecai: Rigby, throw it! Rigby: Where?! Mordecai: As far as you can, dude! Mordecai and Rigby: We did it! Muscle Man: Bros! Muscle Man (continued): How much do you think I can get for this thing? $50? $60? How about this sweet pullover I found in the trash? Muscle Man (continued): "Missile Tracking Device". Rigby: No, not back to us! Benson: No, no, no, no! Benson (continued): No, no, no, no! Benson (continued): C'mon! Open! Benson (continued): Aaah! Why did I get extra butter? C'mon!! Benson: Darn it! Pilot: Lock and load. Mordecai: Oh man, your car. Benson: Car?! What car?! I don't SEE any car! Maybe it's invisible - kinda like the checks I'll be paying you with FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS! Benson (continued): AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HOUSE?!?!?! Mordecai: Yeah, about that...
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