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To understand music, we must first understand sound: the central ingredient of music. Sound is also an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is measured in Heinz. Pythagoras (c.a. 580-581 BC), noted predominately as the inventor of human reproduction (sex was not invented until 1899), noted that a tuning fork makes a different sound when it is sustained in a block of ice. Hence, temperature affects pitch (how high or low a sound is). Pythagoras (of the Pythag Pythag gangbangin’ brotherhood) discovered that the pitch of a note times a numerical constant equaled the cube root of a fraction whose numerator is the additive inverse of the acceleration due to gravity plus the multiplicative inverse of the height of the nearest tree and w

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  • Music theory
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  • To understand music, we must first understand sound: the central ingredient of music. Sound is also an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is measured in Heinz. Pythagoras (c.a. 580-581 BC), noted predominately as the inventor of human reproduction (sex was not invented until 1899), noted that a tuning fork makes a different sound when it is sustained in a block of ice. Hence, temperature affects pitch (how high or low a sound is). Pythagoras (of the Pythag Pythag gangbangin’ brotherhood) discovered that the pitch of a note times a numerical constant equaled the cube root of a fraction whose numerator is the additive inverse of the acceleration due to gravity plus the multiplicative inverse of the height of the nearest tree and w
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abstract
  • To understand music, we must first understand sound: the central ingredient of music. Sound is also an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is measured in Heinz. Pythagoras (c.a. 580-581 BC), noted predominately as the inventor of human reproduction (sex was not invented until 1899), noted that a tuning fork makes a different sound when it is sustained in a block of ice. Hence, temperature affects pitch (how high or low a sound is). Pythagoras (of the Pythag Pythag gangbangin’ brotherhood) discovered that the pitch of a note times a numerical constant equaled the cube root of a fraction whose numerator is the additive inverse of the acceleration due to gravity plus the multiplicative inverse of the height of the nearest tree and whose denominator is the square of the temperature in Kevin Bacon (1/6th of a degree) plus the integration of the chemical model of sugar divided by the temperature, also in Kevin Bacon. This model has proven to be irreducible. Both sides cannot be divided by c, as c might be zero. Division by zero would most likely trigger “the bomb.” In this case, music is meaningless and we can only wait for the world to end. Although c appears to be a constant, its actual value was unrecorded by Pythagoras. However, there is evidence that it stands for catsup. Thus, Heinz is the central unit for sound. The pitch of a sound is determined by its Heinz value. A lower value has a lower pitch, while a higher value has more ketchup.
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