The "These Were My Best Jeans, Dammit!" Offensive (16 December, 19:44 – 25 January, 19:45) was a major "German frankfurter" offensive launched towards the end of the Christmas and beginning of New Year period through the forested make-out region of Belgium Street, London (and more specifically of Wallonia Secondary School: hence its French name, Bataille des Willy), the party itself occurring in my Y-Fronts. The offensive was called Unternehmen Wacht am Rhein (translated as That freak's underwear has gone as wet as the Rhine or Operation "Watch where you're shootin' that stuff, you twat") by the languages student witnesses who turned up for the court case. But the unfortunate incident is better known known to the general public simply as the Battle of the Bulge in my Pants. The “bulge” was
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| - Battle of the Bulge in my Pants
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| - The "These Were My Best Jeans, Dammit!" Offensive (16 December, 19:44 – 25 January, 19:45) was a major "German frankfurter" offensive launched towards the end of the Christmas and beginning of New Year period through the forested make-out region of Belgium Street, London (and more specifically of Wallonia Secondary School: hence its French name, Bataille des Willy), the party itself occurring in my Y-Fronts. The offensive was called Unternehmen Wacht am Rhein (translated as That freak's underwear has gone as wet as the Rhine or Operation "Watch where you're shootin' that stuff, you twat") by the languages student witnesses who turned up for the court case. But the unfortunate incident is better known known to the general public simply as the Battle of the Bulge in my Pants. The “bulge” was
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| Casus
| - Well, I don't know! It was uncontrollable from the start!
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| Revision
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| Date
| - 2010-03-14(xsd:date)
- --12-16
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| Commander
| - Unknown pills
Sexual inhibitions
Repressed emotions
- My fumbling hands
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| Territory
| - Scrotum area unreachable, gusset thoroughly stuffed
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| Caption
| - Clockwise from top left: Local park has since been turned into a memorial park; Classroom is now gathering spot for neo-viagras; Courtroom still has high radioactive levels; Culprit which later shot itself rather than be captured.
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| Casualties
| - Approximately 300 civilians requiring therapy
- My dignity
- The pills overworked it,
if you catch my drift
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| Result
| - Expelled from school, expelled from the park, expelled from family, etc
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| combatant
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| Place
| - Local bench, the local school, the local courtroom, etc
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| Conflict
| - Battle of the Bulge in my Pants
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| abstract
| - The "These Were My Best Jeans, Dammit!" Offensive (16 December, 19:44 – 25 January, 19:45) was a major "German frankfurter" offensive launched towards the end of the Christmas and beginning of New Year period through the forested make-out region of Belgium Street, London (and more specifically of Wallonia Secondary School: hence its French name, Bataille des Willy), the party itself occurring in my Y-Fronts. The offensive was called Unternehmen Wacht am Rhein (translated as That freak's underwear has gone as wet as the Rhine or Operation "Watch where you're shootin' that stuff, you twat") by the languages student witnesses who turned up for the court case. But the unfortunate incident is better known known to the general public simply as the Battle of the Bulge in my Pants. The “bulge” was the initial incursion my "dachshund" put into the lining of my underwear, as seen in drawings presented to the judge. The objectives of my "flying Dutchman" were achieved and the seams of my underpants were thoroughly ripped asunder. This was the turning tide of the period of my adolescence back in 1994. My nipples had swollen like fuck and my voice went back to being squeaky once in a while, but all fears of turning into an infernal girl were allayed by the immensity of the "bulge" in my pants. Being more of a man still has its downsides, I suppose.
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