| abstract
| - Connectthedots was once Connecticut and before that it was Je Moeder, but the Nike Revolution of 2006 replaced the border with a bunch of dots. A group of people restored the border by connecting the dots with a crayon, and a drunken hobo decided that the people should change the state's name. Connectthedots: The land of the fuzzy Pikachus. Connecticut is a synonym for Hell. It's current umm Governor umm called Dan umm Malloy who seems umm to umm say umm umm a lot in umm the umm middle of umm his umm sentences On Febuary 2007, a terrible tragedy took place. An experimental Navy airplane (They were trying to break into the field) crashed into the border, destroying 2 dots, one of them being the beloved Abraham Dot, which had been blessed by Abraham Lincoln's ghost the year prior. The crash also killed 10,000 people, who were of little signifigance. After much investigation, the crash was determined to have been caused by the mass amount of rats that were being transported without containment, which caused the plane to offset and spiral to the ground. All the rats survived, many of which were subsequently interviewed for the legendary documentary, "Dots." Before the Nike Revolution of 2006, Connecticunt was a place widely known for its turned up collars and drunk preppy rich white boys who, for some reason, probably due to nuclear waste, were convinced that they were black and very cool. This made the state's sole African-American angry and was part of the reason why the border was replaced with dots. The dots led to a huge influx of illegal immigrants, Puertorriquenos, and black people, most of which settled in a three-block area of Bridgeport, under the tracks in Hartford, and the squatters lots of Meriden. Bro-rape: A marvelous experiment. Many brothers enjoy it rough and quick but some strange conniticutian actually go for a slowly and sensual feeling. Until, unfortunately, the mother walks and ruins the very warm and fun experience. It looks something like this 3<===8 Now, however, Connectthedots is just a dumping ground for hobos, discarded polo shirts, and New Yorker's paychecks (thanks to the Mashantucket Pequots and their Uber-Casinos). Those inhabitants of Connectthedots that weren't trying to be black fled and are now living in Hell or York, often discriminated against by the native inhabitants. Also before the revolution, Connectthedots' major exports consisted of airplane parts, Pez, Legos, M-16's, Dave Matthews Band concerts, the Hartford Whalers, nuclear-powered grinders, and anthropothermal energy generation (see: ESPN's Chris Berman). The capital of Connectthedots is Heartburn, a rather boring place whose claims to fame are a constitution pulled from a dead oak tree as well, the largest collection of soon-to-be bankrupt insurance companies in the Northeast outside of New York, and the largest and most confusing expressway interchanges on the East Coast.
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