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| - Transformers 2005 - Thursday, August 15, 2002, 7:28 PM The stands You are sitting in the Olympic Stadium, and have a fairly nice view of the events below. Contents: Hound Power Armor Walkie-Talkie Black Cassette [Ravage] Kup John Kebal Below, From Combat Pit 1 Overpass begins to rise up, Blaster's attempt seemingly a success -- but it all turns out to be a fake-out! He plants his feet down, pulling his fellow Autobot with him. Instead of helping him to his feet, however, he yanks him right over his head. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Overpass strikes Blaster with Super Arm Drag. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Blaster lands on the ground behind Overpass, managing somehow to remain on his feet, even if armour plates jar loose from the impact, Blaster staggering slightly before he turns and attempts once more to kick Overpass with a big boot right in the face. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Blaster strikes Overpass with boot to the face. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Overpass takes the big boot (BROTHER!), but keeps on a-tickin', using the tactic he started this shindig off with. He snatches up Blaster's foot, pulls him forward and launches himself forward with the biggest lariat this side of Stan Hansen. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Overpass strikes Blaster with Clothesline From Hell. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Judge Helmsley nods his head, kicked back in his chair fiddling with the damage simulator board. "Not bad. Overpass advances, Blaster is the COMPLETE... and TOTAL... LOSEEEEEEEER! Now get out of my pit!" Below, Hook has arrived. Hook has arrived. Hook be taking a seat in the stands, arrrrr. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Overpass turns to Judge Helmsley, frowning at his harsh words. Far from possessing poor sportsmanship, the military commander extends a hand down to Blaster to help him up. "You put on one heck of a show in there, Blaster," he compliments. "I'm glad you're on our side." Below, From Combat Pit 1 Judge Helmsley spits, "That's it, my shift is over. Go smooch and 'connect' somewhere else." Below, From Combat Pit 1 Blaster accepts the hand to pull himself up, "I'm just surprised I lasted that long Overpass. And if I may, I believe the humans have a tradition when it comes to winers." Blaster proceeds to raise Overpasses arm in the air. Below, From Combat Pit 1 Judge Helmsley talks a walk. "Aw, that's it. I'm gonna go friggin' be sick." Below, Overpass has arrived. Below, Blaster has arrived. Below, Blaster walks into the room, looking forever as though he's moving to some silent (you hope) beat. Overpass has arrived. Below, First Aid has arrived. First Aid has arrived. Below, Blaster vanishes out of reality. Below, Blaster has left. Below, Special FX arrives from the Last Chance Alley. Below, Special FX has arrived. Below, Special FX strides into the room with a smile upon his face. Below, General Ollin arrives from the Last Chance Alley. Below, General Ollin has arrived. Below, A faint purple glow illuminates the power armor, which disappears from around Ollin. Mirage has arrived. Mirage has left. Below, Mirage has arrived. Below, Miztli Man-Beast returns to his car after the show has finished, and he has had a chance to eat a steak and down a beer or two before the race. And what luck, he's found himself one of the catgirls that kept passing him notes from Speedy Jack's while judging. Ruin has arrived. Jazz gets up from his spot and heads for the track to warm up and check out the competition. Olympic Stadium Vast and large, this circular stadium is to house the main events for the Monacus Olympics. Stands surround the center field, with chairs ranging from small sizes to much larger ones, able to seat Transformers of nearly every size. In the very center of the stadium is a raised platform about 30 meters (100 feet) on each side, obviously some sort of fighting arena. Ringing this platform is a wide, level expanse with different numbered rows, which borders the outside of the stands. And yet there is still a lot of empty space in the arena. Outside of the stadium are abandoned buildings, the remains of an area that Pangalactic Industries is in the process of rebuilding. People: Jazz Mirage Chikome-Ollin FX Hardstrike Objects: Miztli Man-Beast Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels Time Out Room The stands med tent Combat Pit 2 Race Track 2.0 Combat Pit 3 Combat Pit 1 Commentator's Booth FX leaps up into the air his body twisting around. His arms fold in and his legs push up into his body. FX's head sinks down into his body. The classic TFing noise is heard while he shifts down to his volkswagen form. Twin Twist has arrived. Twin Twist moves into view. Miztli Man-Beast pops open the passenger side door of his Mustang, giving the catgirl a mischevious (so easy for cats, isn't it) grin. "Mrrrow, it'll be one hell of a ride you'll get, baby." Leaping over the car, Miztli heads into the driver side. Overpass has arrived. Topspin has arrived. First Aid has arrived. Lightspeed has arrived. Twin Twist comes down to the stadium by way of the stands. "Ey-yo, dis shuld be a piece of scrap. Mebbe we kin git yew a gold medal or somethin'." Mirage stands up straight from where he was leaning up against the stands and gives Jazz a pat on the back as he says "Looks like the competition is a little think this year Jazz. I think this race will be fun this year." Jazz nods and smiles at Mirage "Right on man. This should be a lot of fun. At least the Stunticons are not here they would turn this race into a demolition derby." Topspin trails behind Twin Twist, proudly displaying his free-for-all silver medal. "Yah, this one shouldn't be much trouble. I don't even need to knock Omega Supreme around this time." Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer drives onto the field with a fresh car wash. He drives past the stands and towards the track and stops waiting for the land race to begin. First Aid steps in from the Monacus Highrise Hotel, planning to have some fun in a good sportsmanship race that certainly won't involve crashing into people on purpose. The Protectobot steps up towards the race's starting line, waiting calmly for the announcer to do his thing. Twin Twist snickers, "Heh heh heh." As he comes closer to the track, he makes note of the other competitors. "Ey-yo, looks like we can't wreck heah. Guess we'll hafta run n' rule, huh?" Judge Mills has arrived. "You can ram anybody you'd like," Topspin notes, likewise taking in the competition. Michael Briar has arrived. Michael Briar leaves through the west exit gates. Michael Briar has left. Twin Twist scratches his chin, "Hmm.." From inside Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast twists to reach into the backseat area, popping open the refrigerated cooler and removing a bottle of wine. "Mrrrow, pour us a glass before the race starts." When the catgirl pops the cork, it's aimed off towards the gathering competitors. Lightspeed arrives at trackside, having been off somewhere else mocking Scattershot about his loss to Hot Spot a few days ago. Shrugging as we walks past a few of the other competitors, he nears the start area and transforms. Lightspeed transforms into his vehicle mode. Mirage looks down at his arm as the cork bounces off of it and then nods to Jazz saying "Yeah I hear you there... thou I think we are going to have some unforseen trouble out there on the track... since that one seem intent on filling himself with that liquid before heading out for the race." Michael Briar arrives from the hotel to the west. Michael Briar has arrived. Exo-Suit 1774 arrives from the hotel to the west. Exo-Suit 1774 has arrived. Exo-Suit 1774 leaves to Last Chance Alley. Exo-Suit 1774 has left. Michael Briar leaves to Last Chance Alley. Michael Briar has left. Hound arrives and walks toward Jazz and Mirage. The Autobot knows that he has no chance to win, but he still want to participate. "Heya buddies. REady for the race?" First Aid raises his arms in protest as Miztli's cork hits against his armoured form. He silently praises himself for having the agility to block the 'shot'. Maybe Blades's advice (read: beatdown) is rubbing off on him finally. The medic then frowns at the thought of him being all pleased at blocking a figgin' cork. Jazz nods a bit "Seems like it unfortunately, hopefully he will only hurt himself. Hey Hound, you betcha I'm ready hehe. What about you ? Are you ready ?" Mirage turns his head towards Hound as he approachs and replies to his comrade "You bet Hound, its great to have you in the race... espically with none of the Decepticons in it this year." Hound smiles, "Yeah it's gonna be a good race. I'm as ready as I can be" Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer looks at his competition and he sighs. He know that he prolly won't place very well he has an errie feeling, but he'll do his best. He's the last hope, the only hope for the Junkions to do something in this years Olympics. He looks back into the stands to see if anyone eve notices him here on the field preparing for the race. He tunes his radio into a good station and revs his engine. ATTENTION, PLEASE: The Land Race will start in exactly FIVE minutes, so if you plan to take part in it, get your asses down here and add yourself to the roster. Spread it around the chans, too, because there aren't going to be any late entries without substantial bribes. :> Twin Twist comes up to the starting line and transforms! Twin Twist jumpstarts his day by flipping his legs onto his chest and locking them in place. First Aid transforms into his ambulance form, decrystalizer cannon no-where in sight. First Aid transforms into an ambulance. With a classical tranformation sound, Hound's body split in two, Hound tranforms into a jeep. Jazz leaps into the air and folds down on himself and into a stylish white Porsche 935. Hook has arrived. Hook jumps in the air and suddenly his whole body twists and turns to land on the ground as a crane truck. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer starts to pull up onto the track into position. He lets off a sigh and sends off a small little prayer to the great TV in the sky. FX turns on his radio. FX receives a radio transmission. FX transmits a message via radio to Sheng. FX receives a radio transmission. Mirage falls forward as he folds up and transforms into car mode. Topspin sinks down into his vehicle form. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer revs his engine and he scans the others around him. FX sweeps the area. From inside Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast takes a quick drink from his glass of wine. Holding the glass steady, he shifts out of his spot in the pits and makes his way over to the starting line. Mirage moves himself up to his start position and revs his engines as well as he waits for the green signal light. Green military jeep moves to the starts position and waits for the starting signal. White Porsche 935 moves himself to the starting line and slowly revs up his engine. Judge Mills approaches the announcer's stand, climbing the stairs slowly to get a better view of the race track. Once he makes it into the box, he does a mike check, makes sure that the little cooler by his feet has an adequete supply of beer, and kicks back in his recliner. He keys the mike and smacks it against the edge of the booth, sending a loud THUMP resounding through the Arena. "Listen up, you little maggots. You have two minutes to get your sorry little asses, tails, or whatever weird rear-facing appendages you circus freaks possess, to the finish line. OR YOU'RE DQ'ED!" Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer thinking to himself he just prepares for the race, ("You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.") Techno-Car parks himself at the start line, at a slight angle so as to get a better line into turn one. Topspin hovers up to the start line next to Twin Twist, a hidden speaker blaring. "Remember. Wreck and rule." Drill Tank's voice is heard snickering over his external speaker. "Heh heh heh. Wreck n' rule, bro!" Ambulance (First Aid) frowns inwardly up at Judge Mills, not particularly liking the majority of the judges here on Monacus very much. The Protectobot medic sighs and edges up to the starting line. Judge Mills checks his watch, taps on it a few times. It looks like one of the hands managed to get stuck. "Cheap piece of crap." Next time, he buys Swiss. He stands up, and yells into the mike, "Okay, TIME'S UP! If you haven't been added to the roster- You can go cry in the bathroom or something, for all I care. The rest of you little punks can get your sorry asses to MY starting line, rev your engines if it makes you feel like any less of a loser, and get ready to die." One of the attendants approaches him and whispers something in his ear, and he mutters into the mike. "Er, get ready to race. Right." All the while, he pictures various racers blowing up in spectacular fashions. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer smiles,"= yeah" Hardstrike pulls up to the starting line, launchers lowered down and nearly out of sight, not to mention lacking their usual load rockets. He revs his engine, " Lets get another with for the Autobots, huh guys? " he emits to his comrades. Ambulance (First Aid) edges up to the line and comes to a full and complete stop. Just by a happy coincidence, the ambulance is right next to Miztli's hot hot wheels of sexiness. Glancing in the Mexican feline's direction, the Protectobot idly says, "Good luck, friend." Either he doesn't recognise Mitzli, or is just. that. nice. Crane Truck idle engine sounds. Green military jeep is in starting position and he slowly rev his engine. Drill Tank awaits the sound to begin. With both Jumpstarters competing, how could the Autobots /not/ win? White Porsche 935 starts reving up his engine...Oh yeah...720 hp of sheer power under the hood. The roar of the engine is that of a hungry beast. Judge Mills slowly finishes drinking his first can of beer, upending it and shaking it to drain it completely dry, while studying the racers to figure out which one he's going to wind up betting on. Eh, they all look like pretty sad sacks of crap, except for that hotroddin' Man-Beast dude. He nods to himself, tossing a smirk at the attendant who's with him. She scurries off to place his bet, and he yells out (removing the can from his lips for a moment), "If you all are ready, IT'S TIME TO RACE! And if not... THEN GET OUT THERE ANYWAYS AND PRAY TO WHATEVER MISBEGOTTEN GOD OF YOURS ISN'T LISTENING THAT YOU SURVIVE THE FIRST ROUND!" He tosses the can of beer into the air, raising the typical starting pistol with his other hand, and fires a shot straight through it. The gunshot signals the start of the race, so.... ya'll feel free to pose starting off. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast revs his car's engine, much like everyone else. Finish off the last of his wine, the Man-Beast waits to hear the starter pistol to toss the glass out of his open driverside window. Quickly shifting into first, Miztli gives the Mustang's tires a good squeel and he and his catgirl companion take off. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer revs his engine, "So, what do you need, besides a miracle?" He prepares for the Judge to call out the go ahead for them to go. FX takes a gulp and he shouts out as he takes his first spin onto the course of the track, "Sheathe these feet in the driving gale, Make swift these legs, o'er land I sail." His modified VW form sputters off and he speeds off on his way and on his way to victory hopefully while trying to avoid getting hit along the way. Hardstrike hits the accelerator, and quickly follow's in suit of Miztli Man-Beast and his feline companions. " Yee-hah! " he emits aloud, happy to do what Autobots do best-Dominate the road. His tires squeal for a few momentsk, before he speeds off from the starting line... Crane Truck shifts into first gear as the race begins. Yay! Racing is fun! Ambulance (First Aid) sighs as Miztli either doesn't hear him, or chooses to ignore him. The Protectobot's tires squeal as he shoots out of the starting area and around the track. The doctor nearly tilts over as he comes to the first curve, but manages to stay upright. He doesn't even dare trying to crash into anyone, and thus doesn't even try to get into position to do so. He winces at the thought of the damage he must be doing to his tires. Techno-Car shifts out of neutral the very instant the signal to start is given and powers toward the first corner with minimal wheelspin. Very concious of being crunched, he keeps glancing around to check where everyone is, settling on the tight inside line for now. Jet Boat exhales a twin pair of pluming indigo energy cyclones from his rear ducts, and then launches forward, gliding across the surface on his tiny wheels. Drill Tank is off! The strange Cybertronic design is unusually fast, no doubt a surprise to those around him. Four wheels and two tractor-modules work in perfect harmony, enabling Twin Twist to relatively keep up with Topspin's much design. With tires screeching and smoking the White Porsche leaps forward as if it was kicked in the aft by a gestalt and starts gaining speed and looking for a way through the traffic. A few seconds later you can hear some loud music booming from the inside of the car...to the trained ear it sounds like some old Bon Jovi. Green military jeep revs his engine, "Good luck Autobots!" Hound hits the accelerator making his tires squeal. The Autobot drives at full speed with some music playong on his radio. Mirage burns rubber as the signal to go is started. Mirage takes off screaming down the track as he passes up some of the slower of the racers. Mirage whine slightly as he starts to shift gear and comes around the first corner tires squelling as Mirage does a power slide around curve and continues on down the track. The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 8) Jazz (lap 1) Twin Twist (lap 1) Lightspeed (lap 1) Hound (lap 1) FX (lap 1) 7) Topspin (lap 1) First Aid (lap 1) 6) Mirage (lap 1) Hook (lap 1) Hardstrike (lap 1) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 1) Ambulance (First Aid)'s engine whines in protest of the punishment that it's being subjected to, and the Protectobot finds that he's unable to bare to see his own engine struggle like this. As a result he shifts down a gear and slows his pace, hoping to simply let everyone else get exhausted. As a result, the Ambulance falls behind much of the crowd. There's a whole lot of people in front of him, and a whole lot behind him. First Aid is pleased with his efforts so far, "Hey Topspin, this is fun, isn't it?" he calls out to the Jumpstarter. Drill Tank is driving, and striving, and hugging the turns. He's thinking of something for which he still burns! He's going the distance! He's going for speed! He's not all alone, for Topspin is behind him! 'Cuz he's racing, and pacing, and plodding the course. He's fighting, and biding, and driving in his uninspired altmode. He's going the distance. Yah! Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer heads down the track and he sputters as he does. "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path." FX speeds around the track and he sees that it is a very close race. He hopes that he can stay where he is, or pull ahead some. He just continues to listen to the radio while he speeds down the track for now looking at the Autobots beside him, would the Autobots try and stick together, or will they try to duke it out to cause some changes in the roster and how it stands right now with everyone neck and neck. Techno-Car drifts through the turn on an inside-out line to better maximise his speed potential. So far it seems to be working as he finds himself amongst the initial leaders. A few quick mental calculations, based on his data archives from previous races, tells him he can coast for the time being and pick up a draft if neccessary. Fuel is one of the biggest issues in a race, and Topspin isn't about to go wasting all of his precious juice on the start. The front of the pack always crashed anyhow, so he bides his time, trailing behind Twin Twist some. To First Aid at his side, a speaker blares sardonically. "Very, First Aid. I'm going to crank it in a click here, so would you mind not getting in my way when I rocket passed? Thanks!" Green military jeep is driving and his engines whines since he's rolling at full speed. The Autbot can't believe he is among the intial leader of the race. Hound tries to accelerate a bit more but it's not easy since he's not build for speed. White Porsche 935 is speeding along the outside track relying on his wide tires to grip and allow him to pass people who are hugging the inside track. Within a few seconds the porsche is among the leading cars. "Whooohoo!" Crane Truck does stuff. Like drive around in this race. Wheeee look at him everybody! It's a crane truck in a race! Wheeeee!!! And he's a Decepticon too so it's his duty to try and crash into people when the urge will tickle him. So come on, tickle his urge! From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast slides a cd into the car's stereo, the stereo system situated on either side of the cooler beginning to throb to the beat of the now-blaring rock music. His passenger visibly cringes at the loud music, and Miztli quickly turns it down. "Mrrrow, sorry babe." Shifting into the next gear, he steers the Mustang with the flow of traffic, keeping watch of nearby competitors. Mirage took that last turn at too slow of a speed as he pulls back around and lets the bulk of the racers pass him. Mirage silently curses himself as he revs up the speed again and takes off down the next straightaway in an attempt to catch up with the others as he doesn't want to get left too far behind. Hardstrike continues to drive along, not surprised that he is in the bunch farther back. He eyes his competition, .oO(Mirage might be a problem. Hook...yeah right. Miztli? Not gonna even bother. Yet.) he thinks, and continues onwards. Judge Mills watches the racers try and impress him, everyone in the stands, and themselves. And fail miserably. In fact, it's so boring he can hardly stay awake- so he grabs another beer out of his cooler, pops it open, and takes a long swig. "Well, that was an uneventful start. Straight out of the gate, we have Jazz, Twin Twist, Lightspeed, Hound, and FX in the lead... by not all that much. Right on their slow-moving asses are Topspin and First Aid, and- Wait a minute. All the rest of you are trailing behind a frikkin' AMBULANCE? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. In fact, just jerk hard to the right and slam into the nearest wall or person. DO IT NOW!" He takes another few drinks of his beer, adding in a mutter. "For those of you that care, the bottomfeeders at the back of the pack are Mirage, Hook, Hardstrike- What the hell kind of name is that, anyways? And that Beast dude who has his own nationally syndicated television show. Which is more than the rest of you punks can say. Anyways, that's how things stand this round, and if none of you suckers gets a bit of acceleration by the next round, I'm going to have to flip a coin. Heads, I fall asleep, and Tails... I start randomly shooting people to provide some much needed 'motivation'." The racers speed around the track.... Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer heads around the track again and he's quite happy that nobody has tried to cause any accidents as of yet, but how long will that last? FX just concentrates upon the road again as if he lets his mind wander to much he may loose his place and he doesn't want that to happen. Kicking it into high gear he moves down the track and as he does he sputters a bit encasing the area in a thick black smoke. "What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are . . . know you are." Current track positions: 18) Jazz (lap 1) 17) Lightspeed (lap 1) 15) Twin Twist (lap 1) Topspin (lap 1) FX (lap 1) First Aid (lap 1) 14) Hound (lap 1) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 1) 13) Mirage (lap 1) Hook (lap 1) 10) Hardstrike (lap 1) Hardstrike trails behind, .oO(Hrm. They must not of given me a better engine for my new form. Gonna have to fix that after the Olympics....)Oo. he thinks to himself, and pushes onwards. Techno-Car edges ahead of most of the pack thanks to his clever thinking, trailing only a solitary vehicle in the form of Jazz. He's not that far behind though, so he tucks in on the exact same line hoping to use the slipstream effect to slingshot past and into the lead. Green military jeep tries to accelerate put he can't keep the pace, Jazz and Lightspeed are too fast for him. The Autobot watch First Aid in front of him, "Hey! I didn't knew he was so fast!" Hound's engine whines and starts to overheat as he tries to go faster. Jet Boat blasts up to Twin Twist's side. "Hey," he radios, pulling in front of his brother and setting up a draft. Crane Truck shifts into a different speed and starts to pick up speed, yeehaw, look at him go and now he feels ticklish so it's time to start hurting people. Seeing as Mirage is the closest to him he starts to swerve towards him, "Out of the way Autobot!" Drill Tank stalls, just a tiny bit, for Topspin to catch up to him. Jazz and Lightspeed have gotten too far ahead, which make the idea to help enforce Topspin's domination of the event just that: an idea. "Ey-yo, bro!" Twin Twist greets his fellow Jumpstarter over his external speaker. A little curious, he decides to check out his rear sensor and spots Hook muscling past Hardstrike. The Jumpstarter has to stifle a snicker at a certain Autobot's expense. Ambulance (First Aid) may be large and not very aerodynamic, but he has three things on his side. First of all, he is an ambulance, and is thus built to be able to speed along at a considerable velocity. Second of all, the Protectobot is used to being able to weave in and out of traffic whenever he rushes someone to a hospital or repair bay. He's been forced to do this many times on various rescue missions. Third of all, First Aid's engine is in perfect condition. Believe me, the over cautious doctor never dares to miss a maintenance check-up. Regardless, First Aid keeps on chuggin', pleased with how he's doing so far. Course, he'd be pleased even if he stalled right out of the starting gate. He grins back at Hound, "Having fun?" he calls out kindly. Hook crashes forcefully into Mirage! White Porsche 935 shifts into high-gear as moves closer to the inside track to maintain his lead....oO(I made it there no biggie...Staying here...is going to be something else.)Oo. Jazz notices Lightpseed squeezing himself in the porsche's draft....oO(mmmmm let's see if he can handle what he has under the hood.)Oo. The music is still booming and can clearly be heard even through the roar of the engines... Some spectators are nodding their head or whatever to the beat. Mirage is just driving a terrible race it seems. Mirage must have gotten rusty as he slips back into 2nd to last place tied with Hook. Maybe he should have gone in for the regularly schedualed maintince last week instead of skipping it. Mirage attempts to swerve out of the way of Hooks assult as he concentrats on trying to get himself back into the race. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast doesn't keep the pedal fully to the floor, no way he plans to wear out the engine so early into the race. But familiar with his Mustang as he is, Miztli keeps it as close to the redline as he can. He weaves past a slow tank, and then a faster moving crane truck... and a Formula-1? What kind of suck ass Indy car keeps pace with a crane truck? Judge Mills almost chokes on his beer, as some of the racers finally start putting on some speed. He shakes his head, finishing off the remains of the can and crumpling it in his hand, tossing it over the edge of the booth in disgust. "Well, folks, it seems as though this thing's getting a bit livelier. In fact, pretty soon it'll be as exciting as slamming your head into the wall repeatedly. Only ten times as painful." He eyes the racers as they jockey for position, and then gives a status update. "In the lead, we have Jazz, showing that the fly ass ride will overcome all obstacles. Right behind him is Lightspeed, who had better pick up the pace, or change his damn name. Quite a ways behind them, we have Twin Spin and Top Twist- I think. Never could tell those guys apart. In any case, they're battling it out with FX, and First Aid- who's STILL doing better than half these suckers, despite being a frikkin' AMBULANCE. Hound's right behind them, but that crazy Manbeast is about to use him as a speedbump. Behind them, we have Mirage, who's a fine example of the modern F-1 racer. Flashy, low to the ground, with gawdawful acceleration that can't manage to keep him ahead of a construction vehicle like Hook there. And WAAAAAAAAAAAAY behind them is Hard- Dammit, I told you to accelerate, punk. ACCELERATE! The pedal on the RIGHT, not the LEFT. Read my lips- If you don't put it in gear, I'm going to start taking potshots at you every time you pass this booth. Sheesh." The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 20) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 1) 16) Hook (lap 1) Hardstrike (lap 1) 13) Mirage (lap 1) 6) Jazz (lap 2) 5) Lightspeed (lap 2) 4) Topspin (lap 2) 3) Twin Twist (lap 2) 2) Hound (lap 2) FX (lap 2) First Aid (lap 2) Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer hears the crash behind him and he sighs knowing that it is all down hill from here now. Thinking to himself as he heads down the track, ("Let's plow the road!") FX looks at his lap partners First Aid, and Hound he filickers his turn signals on at them in a greeting. Looking ahead to the two Jumpstarter Brothers and he wonders if they have anything cooked up to try and pull ahead in the race, just for protection he does try and steer clear from them. Techno-Car doesn't seem quite able to gain any ground on Jazz thus far, but at least there's the consolation of not falling any further behind. Content to do the chasing, he maintains his position in the draft, waiting perhaps for a few tailenders to get in Jazz's way and open up a window of opportunity to pass him. A quick glance is his mirrors reveals Topspin isn't too far behind; he'll have to keep a careful eye out for the Jumpstarter. Green military jeep is very impress by his performance in this race. He gives a quick look at First Aid, "Don't brag too soon buddy, you didn't beat me yet." Hound hits the accelerator and tries to reach Twin Twist in front of him. He looks at Jazz far in front of him. "He is so fast!" Drill Tank crosses the finish line, completing his first lap of the night. Topspin has already moved past him, and appears to be a solid lead for third place. He continues, for he's going the /distance/. He's going for speed. Crane Truck looks in his rear mirror s some unknown person is sneaking up behind him, "What the? Who dares try to pass Hook? Who dares I say?!" His crane portion starts to rotate and extend, he's trying to smash Hardstrike out of the way. Decepticons must crash everything to justify losing! Hook crashes forcefully into Hardstrike! Hardstrike keeps to himself-His best bet in this race is to avoid any of the more...destructive participants, and hope to pull ahead when the chaos erupts. He speeds past the crashed Mirage, and soon finds himself caught up with Hook. He eyes the crane, and is smashed. As he swerves out of control, he attempts to return the favor... Hardstrike tries to ram into Hook, without much success. Jet Boat is content to trail behind Lightspeed, so content he even starts humming a tune over the Autobot broadband. Ambulance (First Aid) is beginning to lose some ground as his coasting is finally beginning to hurt him. Hound's pushing his engine appears to have worked as his tag-team partner comes up alongside him. "Oh, hiya Hound." he says idly, getting out of the way in case Hound wishes to pass him. "Yeah, Jazz is really on a roll here. There's not going to be any stopping him." He doesn't even think about crashing into anyone. The Protectobot medic considers pushing his engine into the red, but declines the thought. While this race may be fun, there's no reason that he should damage his engine for the sake of a game. Thus, First Aid is likely not to move up in the rankings very far. Mirage gahs as he is rammed by the Green Construction Vehical and begins to spin out. Mirage then gets passed up by Hook and Hardstrike. Mirage is now in dead last it seems, and despretly needs to catch up with the others. Mirage recovers from the Spin out and takes off down the track determined at least now not to come in last place. White Porsche 935 maintains his lead...Every gauge seems to be ok so far...Temp is up but the cooling is working just fine...The autobot keeps hugging the inside track in order to force anyone attempting to pass him to use the outside track which is getting risky considering the speed the lead racers are at. Obviously Jazz's alt mode was built for such hard race which test speed, skill and endurance. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast isn't too worried about placing, unlike most of the other vehicles on the track. Even if the Man-Beast can get away with full-throttled speeding back home in Mexico, its never in front of an audience. The catgirl beside him leans out the window to give a cute wave to the racers behind him, before being pulled back inside by the Man-Beast as the Mustang's cruise control is activated. Judge Mills stands up again as Mirage takes a hit from Hook, and gets smacked all the way into last place. He raises the mike again, chuckling darkly, and announces, "Well, at least one of you candyasses actually had the guts to nail someone- WHOA there, fella. Slow down, or this is going to be over too fast. For those of you watching in the stands, seconds after Hook gave Mirage the whuppin' his non-existent momma never did, he took Hardstrike for a little ride. Of course, now that Hardstrike's come to a grinding halt, chances are he's not going to be able to get moving again, judging by his past performance. Aside from that fun little bit of mayhem, I'm still waiting for something interesting to happen." Sunstreaker has arrived. Sideswipe arrives from the Last Chance Alley. Sideswipe has arrived. Judge Mills settles back down into his seat, and mumbles with disinterest, "For those of you having trouble keeping track of things without a scorecard, Jazz is STILL in the lead, Lightspeed's still tailgating on him, and those two Flipstarters, Jumpstoppers, or whatever the hell they're called- are still right behind them. Other than that, only Hound, FX, and First Aid actually have a chance of catching up to them, while Miztli's cruisin' in his pimpmobile. Hook's STILL kicking Autobot ass, and has added Hardstrike to his bitchlist. Mirage... Has he even MOVED since Hook smacked him? Or is he off in his own little world? Yo, answer me when I'm talking to you, Mr. "I can't drive fifty-five"." The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 20) Mirage (lap 1) Hook (lap 1) 16) Jazz (lap 2) Hardstrike (lap 1) 13) Lightspeed (lap 2) 12) Topspin (lap 2) 11) Twin Twist (lap 2) 9) Hound (lap 2) FX (lap 2) 8) First Aid (lap 2) 6) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 2) Hardstrike spots Jazz. And gets a rather nasty idea. " Sorry Jazz, but I'm not gonna be winning this race, and I might as well shake things up..." he emits, before hitting the accelerator, and swerving to strike the commander. " Nothing personal. " Hardstrike tries to ram into Jazz, without much success. Mr. Hagar blinks from his tequila and looks around. Techno-Car silenty curses as Jazz starts to disappear into the distance. The only way he's going to catch him now is if traffic plays a part. And judging by Hardstrike's lack of success, that's no sure thing either. Perhaps it's time for a slight revision of strategy: drive faster, dammit! Ambulance (First Aid)'s lax pace is seriously starting to cost him as both FX and Hound pull away from him. But that's alright, because the medic doesn't really mind. First Aid is a very dull racer, it would seem, and would likely be on the top of Mill's list of who to shoot. The ambulance is just taking it easy, and being extremely cautious. His attempts to get out of the way of FX and Hound cost him a fair bit of speed. His rear sensors can spot Miztli closing in on him, and he flashes his lights as a greeting to the Mexican. Yep, he's treating this like a nice sunday drive in the park. Deftly, Topspin continues to cruise behind Lightspeed, matching the Technobots manuevers to the tee, not letting him gain a inch, but not trying to pass either. "Twist, you still alive back there?" he questions from an onboard speaker. Drive in the park? What kind of freak drives in a park? Bah, oh well. Green military jeep hits the accelerator and pass First Aid on his left. "See ya later partner!" Hound is right behind Twin Twist, but the Jumpstarter seems to be to fast for him. "Oh oh my engine is overheating....bah it's not Olympic race every day" The autobot doesn't slow down and tries to pass Twin Twist on his right. Ambulance (First Aid) calls out to Hound for all the good that it will do, "Be careful! You don't want to risk engine-overheating!" Yeah, like /that'll/ cause Hound to slow down. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer speeds down the track rounding the bend and he enjoys the race a bit to much as he says, "I got a full-on robot chubby." out loud and then he hushes up. He lost his concentration while dealing with his full-on robot chubby... he forgot about the race at hand. This is truly a fun engagement and he can put the worries of his normal mundane life behind him for now....because Now he must race! Thinking to himself now he rattles off a quote, "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are...and I am in 5th place!!! Evil, pure and simple from the Eighth Dimension!" FX looks at Hound his lap buddy and would smile if he was in robot form, "Uh, Hound I respect your capabilities with your Hologram Projections, but...Banzai, I'll see you in Hell!" FX tries to pass him, "Eat my dust!" The volkswagen sputters and backfires encasing the area in a thick black smoke. Mirage is once again down the track with the leader of the race Jazz comming up behind him, and finally catchs up with Hook again, and passes Hardstrike's slow moving tank. Mirage "Intones outloud what do you think your doing Hardstrike? Why do you have to go try something nasty like that?" Mirage attempts to get out of range of Hook again without taking another swipe from the construction vehical as he tries to catch up to Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels. White Porsche 935 speeds forward and sees something big and slow infront of him...The porsche skillfully dodges the missile tank's attempt to ram him "Hey! Watch it man this is for fun not for keeps. Good luck to you bud." The porsche now maneuvers to pass the missile tank at the first occasion. Lightspeed is still on his tail...Wonder if he's just toying with me of if his techno-funky components have trouble taking that much abuse. Drill Tank continues following Topspin. How can he be so fast? Four words: he's going the distance! "Ey-yo!" The Jumpstarter acknowledges Topspin's question with his usual greeting. Crane Truck has his crane rotate back into place, yeah take that Autobots! But in his mirror Mirage can be seen driving back up towards him, "Oh a wise guy eh?" He slams on his brakes and lets Mirage pass him before accelerating, wanting to hit him from behind this time. Hook crashes forcefully into Mirage! From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast crosses the finish line, his first full lap around the track. Leaning out his window as his car goes into the first turn, Miztli gives a brief wave to all his adoring fans watching the race. And this time it is he who is pulled back inside the Mustang. He returns his focus to driving once more, starting to creep up behind First Aid, looking to put himself in position to pass. Mirage crashes forcefully into Hook! Sideswipe has left. Sunstreaker has left. Mirage can't avoid Hook crashing into him a second time so Mirage turns into the crash this time and Emits "Well if I'm not going anywhere neither are you Decepticon!" With burning rubber and the screech of metal on metal, Mirage crashs back into Hook. Judge Mills watches as Jazz is still kicking everyone's ass, and leans forward to watch with great amusement as Hardstrike swerves at him... and catches nothing but air. "Dammit, if you're going to bother to take a shot at someone, at least have the sense NOT TO MISS. For those of you wondering what happened, Hardstrike just whiffed yet another shot on someone- Jazz, in this case. At least it makes more sense missing a Porsche than it does to miss a frikkin' Crane. Anyways, Hardstrike bites, and we'll leave it at that. So bringing up the front, we have- OH MAH GAWD! STOP THE DAMN RACE! Wait, no. Don't stop the race. But please, lemme get a replay of that last shot of Hook T-Boning Mirage. In fact, I wanna see it from multiple angles. Keep the carnage coming, and maybe I won't have to shoot any of you." He distantly recalls that he's supposed to announce places, but at this point in time, he doesn't care. Still... "Okay, here's a rundown for the dimwitted. Jazz is STILL THE MAN. Lightspeed is STILL NOT LIVING UP TO HIS NAME. I STILL CAN'T TELL THOSE OTHER TWO APART. And the rest of you, I don't give a damn about. Hound and FX are still neck and neck, First Aid's still doing better than the rest of the suckers lagging behind, and Miztli's still taking a joyride. Hey, where can I get me one of them catgirls? Hook a brutha up?" The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 20) Mirage (lap 1) Hook (lap 1) Hardstrike (lap 1) 19) Twin Twist (lap 2) 17) Hound (lap 2) FX (lap 2) 16) First Aid (lap 2) 14) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 2) 6) Jazz (lap 3) 1) Topspin (lap 3) Lightspeed (lap 3) Drill Tank allows Topspin to rush by him. With some distance placed between the racers behind him, this Jumpstarter keeps his sensors peeled for the three in front of him. Especially Hardstrike. Techno-Car's new strategy is apparently no better than the last, judging by the fact that Topspin has no caught him. And dicing with the Jumpstarter to retain position is only likely to slow him down further, allowing Jazz to further stretch his lead over the pair. Unfortunatly, that will not help Twin Twist. One bit. Hardstrike hits the brakes suddenly, and swerves to strike the Jumpstarter. " C'mere. We never settled things..." he emits... Hardstrike tries to ram into Twin Twist, without much success. Green military jeep seems to be totaly unable to pass the Junkion Leader, and the Jumpstarter still too far in front of him. "First Aid's gonna kill me when he's gonna see my engine..." Hound cheers as Mirage crashes into Hook, "Go Mirage Go!" Ambulance (First Aid)'s lazy ass attitude seems to have cost him all the speed that it's going to. Still a short ways behind Hound and FX, and a ways ahead of Miztli, the Protectobot has not a whole lot to fear from being hit by anyone - unless FX or Hound wanna slow down a bit, of course. Assuming that they don't, First Aid keeps on chuggin' along as he calls out to Hound, "I'm going to kill you once I see your engine!" Wow, either he has twinky hearing, can read minds, or it's all just a coincidence. Regardless, he's joking so it's a-ok. Crane Truck ends up spinning out of control after Mirage hits him. Must regain control at all cost even if it means hitting someone else, like Hardstrike again. If only they could use weapons this race would be much more fun instead of crashing into each other. Hook crashes forcefully into Hardstrike! Mirage is tired of playing bumper cars with hook and starts to rev his engine.... as he pulls a little bit away from Hook, a cube appears around the sports car as he engages his invisibilty field in order to at least try and make some progress again in the race and attempt to move into a position where he isn't going to get rammed again so soon. Mirage intones as he begins to disappear "No you see me.... now you don't." Mirage dissolves into nothingness. Jet Boat pulls alongside Lightspeed with a sudden increase of throttle, but remains calm and cool despite the gain he just made. No words, no comments, nothing but forward momentum. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast kicks in cruise control once more when it seems all the other racers have chosen to be either far in front or far behind him. No harm done. Nice straight away shot, his car kick speeding down the track. Reaching back behind him to the cooler once more, Miztli breaks out some tequila. Several shots are done by both driver and passenger. "Ey-yo," Twin Twist remarks as he merely swerves past Hardstrike as he slows down. "First rule: don' be a tool. Second rule: don' evah start shit wit' a Jumpstartuh. Yew won't be able ta handle it!" Of course, Hook would smash into Hardstrike, rendering the Autobot (as far as the race goes) as impotent as he is imbeclic. Hardstrike has been impotent from the start. White Porsche 935 rushes forward skillfully weaving in out of traffic passing Hardstrike who missed a shot at him then speeds right between Mirage and Hook and pours on the juice to distance himself form the pack in order to have space to maneuver should someone come up behind him...Some like Lightspeed or...Topspin ? Finally caught up with us...With music booming the car keeps his lead. "Oh yeah! I love Rock N Roll put another dime in the jukebox baby!" Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer he smiles internally at Hound, "You know...I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle, against incredible odds." He looks at Hound and speeds down the track, "I hate to say this hound, but there isn't room enough on this track for the both of us...Charge!" FX starts to drive inwards at Hound for a ram so see if he can maybe get the upper hand in this situation, "Yeah, well First Aid will be also fixing your armor if I pull this one off! Victory or death! Victory or death!" FX tries to ram into Hound, without much success. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer swerves all over the road and misses hound and he curses, "And, as the poet said, "The rest is history."" FX tries to regain his footing as he knows that will make him lose some ground. Current track positions: 20) Mirage (lap 1) Hook (lap 1) Hardstrike (lap 1) 19) Twin Twist (lap 2) 17) Hound (lap 2) FX (lap 2) 16) First Aid (lap 2) 14) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 2) 6) Jazz (lap 3) 1) Topspin (lap 3) Lightspeed (lap 3) Mirage fades into view! Judge Mills stands back up as some more crash attempts happen, accidentally spilling a bit of his beer. He turns his eyes down, noticing the drippage. "Oh, HELL NO. Dammit, Hardstrike! Not only did you just catch nothing but air again, but you made me spill my beer. I've KILLED people for less. In fact.." He sets his beer down on the edge, pulling out his revolver again, and cracks open the cylinder. Four rounds come out, one stays in. He snaps it shut, spins the cylinder, and takes careful aim at the Autobot. He squeezes the trigger carefully, and...
* CLICK* "Well, damn." He shrugs, narrowing his eyes at the Autobot as he raises the mike again. "Looks like God doesn't COMPLETELY hate your guts. You better hit someone the next time you try, or I'm going to take another shot. And another. Sooner or later, your luck's going to run out, punk." He shakes his head, turning his attention back to the race. "Once again, we have in the lead- Jazz, who is STILL THE MAN. Waaaaay behind him is Lightspeed, who I'm STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT AN APPROPRIATE NAME FOR. Top Twist somehow managed to sneak up on him, and... Twin Spin just put Hardstrike back in his place. A little verbal abuse is all fine and dandy, but next time, put him into the side of the track. We don't pay for these things to hear witty reparte. FX just missed Hound by a mile, so the two are still trudging along. First Aid STILL OWNS the rest of you slackers, but Miztli gets extra points for style. Hook is STILL MAKING HARDSTRIKE AND MIRAGE HIS BIT- HEY! Where in the hell did Mirage go?" He waves to one of the techs for a replay, watching him fade out of view, and yells furiously, tossing his half-full can of beer at the track. "Why, of all the- YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR PANSY ASS BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR LUMPS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. If I can't see you by the time I count to three, you'd better stay invisible, just keep driving until you hit the spaceport, and hope I don't catch up to you. Punk." The racers speed around the track.... Hardstrike looks about. Yes, there is no chance in hell he will even place. Getting back on track, he searches for someone else to derail-And spots Mistli's Bitchin' Wheels. He almost hesitates before trying to crash into the car, such a beautiful model. Almost. Current track positions: 20) Hardstrike (lap 1) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 2) 16) Jazz (lap 3) 9) Topspin (lap 3) Lightspeed (lap 3) 8) Twin Twist (lap 3) 7) Mirage (lap 2) 5) Hound (lap 3) 3) First Aid (lap 3) 2) Hook (lap 2) 1) FX (lap 3) Hardstrike tries to ram into Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels, without much success. Green military jeep is caught unaware by FX's attempt to ram him, "Hey what are you doing?" The Autobot pass in front of the Junkion Leader, "Where did you get your driving licence!!! Pffft Eat my dust!" Hound hits the accelerator and tries to pass Mirage to stay behind Twin Twist. Techno-Car has pretty much given up on catching Jazz, save for some from of divine intervention. Topspin however, that's another matter. It's taking a hefty amount of concerntration to stop himself falling back into third place. Crane Truck is finally in lap 2, sweet. But up front is his eternal enemy First Aid, we'll see who's the better medic of the two, especially after he crashes into him. He's gonna cripple that Autobot so badly he won't be able to give aft probes to his comrades anymore! Hook crashes forcefully into First Aid! Mirage appears back in the race and way out in front of Hook now as he seems to be back in this race after a few minor setbacks and begins tearing down the track again in an effort to at least make himself look a little better but being the only one with a few dents and scraps on his body... things don't look good for Mirage in this race turned into demolishion derby. Mirage gets passed up by Twin Twist, Topspin and Lightspeed already in their third lap with Hound comming up behind him. Mirage intones to Hound "I don't think this race is at all turning out to be what I expected Hound." Ambulance (First Aid) sighs at FX's antics as he tries to pass by the Junkion Commander, "With all due respect, sir, I'd rather /not/ have to repair anyone's armour. Surely we can have this race without creaming each other." No, he /hasn't/ gotten to the bit of the road where Hook is beatin' the fool out of Hardstrike and Mirage, so he doesn't know about it. "Victory or a Thanks For Trying! Victory or a Thanks for Trying!" he calls out to counter FX's 'Victory or Death' chant. Passing by both FX and Hook, the medic can't help but notice little chips of red and white paint on various parts of the Constructicon's form. Strange... it's Hardstrike and Mirage's colour, "Uh, Hook, you seem to have accidently had a collision with-... hey, wait, Hook, you're getting a bi... hey, wait!" -WHAMMO- First Aid goes sprawling over, smashing against the wall and nearly tipping over, "Ahhhh! I've been hit!" he screams. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast tosses one last shot back while nearing the almost idle seeming Hardstrike-tank-thing. Leaning over towards his now tipsy companion, Miztli gives a playful grin. "Allow me to borrow this..." and tears clean a strip of her shirt, along the bottom. Tossing it in the half-full bottle of tequila, Miztli lights the cloth strip and tosses it out the window towards Hardstrike. With good justification now, it seems, as a quick sharp break and swerve are needed to pass the aggressive Autobot. "Grrarr! Enjoy the drink!" White Porsche 935 happily increases his lead...And sees two other cars not too far infront of him..."I just hope we won't end up in a major 3 car crash when I try to pass these 2."...The porsche seems to be sticking to the road as if the tires secreted resin or something...Driving so fast in curves without losing control is an art but...That big wide funky spoiler at the rear is the real trade secret at these speed. "I live for this kinda stuff... Only two laps left let's go for a perfect win. I'm comin' up so you better get this party started!" Keeping an optic on his energon distribution has paid off for Twin Twist. Pressing down on his internal accelerator, he jets right past Mirage, Hook, and Softstrike. His second lap has been completed in the process, getting a good edge on his third. Lightspeed and Topspin burn rubber in front of him, leaving the Jumpstarter with a decision. Help Topspin or let Lightspeed go? Ream Lightspeed or no? "Aww," Twin Twist mutters over his external speaker. "Ah can't disruhspect Scattahshot like dat. Sorry, bro," he transmits his condolences. Jet Boat keeps to himself, ignoring Lightspeed to his side. Gingerly, he adds some more vector to his thrust, a plume of indigo energy lurching from the confines his twin engines to signal the velocity shift. Though an offhanded comment is shot over tightbeam to Twin Twist. "Pussy." Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer sighs and he tries to make up lost ground, "Could you take the car out of neutral. We just got passed by a street sweeper." He feels his tires on the pavement and he looks at Hound pass him and with a sigh he quotes, "An innocent girl, a harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?" Pressing on he looks to catch up back to Hound and pass First Aid now he thinks to himself, ("Just don't be afraid to fail. Failure and recovery is the natural order of things.") and recover is what he must do, "Mr. Sulu, set a course for the Klingon battle fleet. Prepare all photon torpedoes and phaser banks for full engagement!" He passes by First Aid and winces, "OHH THAT's GOTTA HURT!" Judge Mills nods as Mirage reappears, shooting him a sour look. In fact, he raises his pistol and pulls the trigger to another empty click. Dammit. "I see any more of that disappearing crap, and you'd better stay gone." He turns his attention to the rest of the race, just in time to see Hardstrike whiff on someone again. And, as promised, he gets a shot, too. And another empty click. Double-damn. Three down, three to go. "YOUR LUCK ISN'T GOING TO LAST FOREVER, PUNK!" He continues to watch the various going ons, lowering his tone of the voice to address the crowd seriously. "You know, people, if it weren't for Hook, I'd be dreaming of scantily-clad women fanning me, feeding me peeled grapes, and bringing me booze. I don't know whether or not to hate his guts for depriving me of that, or bless his evil, mechanical, non-existant little soul for making this race almost bearable to watch. And he proves once again that he's 20 ounces of kickass in a 12 ounce can, by rocking First Aid's world. Jazz is still so far ahead of everyone else that I recommend he stop, transform, and tell all the others to kiss his tin-plated ass, for sheer humiliation value. Although, I'm not sure how much more humiliation Hardstrike can take before he goes postal on everyone down there. Not that he'll actually manage to hit anything, but... Anyways, Topspin and Lightspeed are still slugging it out down there, but are too scared to even throw girly slaps at each other. What's the matter, ladies? AFRAID OF BREAKING A NAIL?!?!" "Other people who suck, but not quite as badly as Hardstrike, include such notables as Mirage, who's surely going to perish on Hook's grille in the near future, and FX, who has been cruising through the race like a defensive driving student. Get a backbone, man! Twin Twist, Hound, and First Aid are doing alright for themselves, and Mitzli's trying to light Hardstrike up. DAMMIT, THAT'S GOOD BOOZE YOU'RE WASTING! GIMME!" The racers speed around the track.... From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast keeps one hand on the wheel when he finally starts to near other traffic, allowing him a chance to show off his driving skills manuevering past a few others. The other hand, though... He puts his feline dexterity to good use, as there's no need to do too much more gear shifting. At least not the car's. While passing First Aid, a feminine looking silk shirt flutters free of the passenger side window, a small strip missing at the bottom. Current track positions: 18) Topspin (lap 3) 16) Twin Twist (lap 3) Lightspeed (lap 3) 14) Mirage (lap 2) 13) Hound (lap 3) 9) FX (lap 3) 7) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 3) 6) Jazz (lap 4) 4) Hook (lap 2) 3) First Aid (lap 3) 2) Hardstrike (lap 2) Hardstrike sucks. Just outright. He spots First Aid, and shrugs, " Sorry First Aid, this is about all I can do in the race. And shaking things up is fun...what can I say..." he emits, before swerving towards the Ambulance. Hardstrike crashes forcefully into First Aid! Techno-Car is just plain going backwards through the field now, falling behind Topspin and now stuck alongside Twin Twist. At this rate, Hound will be catching him too. Someone must've put sugar in his gas tank, or something. Green military jeep drives at full speed but he si unable to pass Mirage. "I need to pass him quickly" The Autobot hits the accelerator and makes his engine overheat /again/. He's moving to his right and to his left trying to find an opening to pass Mirage. Compile has disconnected. Compile has connected. Jet Boat launches away from Lightspeed, and into the middle of nowhere. Hrm. Having little else to do but continue to ride the bends of the course, Topspin does it. And does it well. Crane Truck is about to go back to smack First Aid some more but notices that Hardstrike is actually beating up on him, meh might as well relax for one lap, he watches people overlap him again, like Jazz, if only he was closer he could try to hurt him. Drill Tank is fairly smart for the intellectual weakest link of the Jumpstarters. By restraining his urge to smash into Lightspeed, he's kept the Technobot from having to speed up in order to keep from getting hit. This enables Topspin to effortlessly get ahead. Not bad for this Jumpstarter! Yes, FX. It /did/ gotta hurt. It did gotta hurt a lot. The Protectobot actually came to a complete stop as he tries to reorient himself. Finally First Aid gets back on track as he murmers, "Funny, I had always heard stories about Hook's legendary precise nature, yet he accidently hits me... Apparently Hook is greatly overrated." Getting his butt back into the race, First Aid chugs back and speeds up, taking it nice and slow so that his battered frame won't be put under any stress. As Miztli passes him, something seems to fly out of the window and land on his windshield, getting caught in one of his wipers. "Eh?" he spies the cat-chick as Miztli speeds off, "Miss! Miss!" he calls out to her, "You seem to have lost your upper-underwear!" he calls out. Before Aid can do anything, however, he's smashed by a Tank hitting the back of his bumper. Aid instintively puts on the breaks, but this causes him to possibly hit HS right back... by accident. First Aid tries to ram into Hardstrike, without much success. Brakes, rather. White Porsche 935 speeds away...engine roaring...After a quick look in the mirror he sees a green crane and an ambulance being knocked around "Hang in there First Aid! Just shake it off and step on it." .oO(A crane truck ? Where are Lightspeed and Topspin ? Oh well I'll have plenty of time to watch the replay after...Gotta concentrate on the road for now.)Oo. Mirage kicks it into high gear as he starts to slowly catch up with Miztli but Mirage knows this race is pretty much over for him... Hound closes the distance between them a little more and begins to pull away from Hook and Hardstrike. Mirage is concentrates on Hook not comming up behind him again and crashing that big nasty grill into his rear spoiler again. Mirage takes another turn tight. He intones to Hound... "Looks like I'm not doing so good am I... I think I'm going to have to conctrate on not getting myself run over at this point." Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer kind of thanks Hook in a strange way as this has allowed him the chance to get back into the fray, "Guess what? Humpty Dumpty's back on the wall!" he shouts this hopefully will allow him to catch up with Hound so he can try to pass him. However he's kind of in limbo right now as he's not around anyone, which is good he doesn't have to worry about being crashed into. "Beat me, whip me, make me write bad checks..but let me get back into the 5th spot!" He pushes his gas pedal to the floor and he sputters while taking off down the track. The volkswagen sputters and backfires encasing the area in a thick black smoke. "OH, LAWD-EH, LAWD-EH, LORD! Hardstrike ACTUALLY MANAGES TO HIT SOMEONE! THE END IS NEIGH! PREPARE FOR THE APOCALYPSE, THE MESSENGER COMES!" Mills stops ranting for a moment to glare at Hardstrike, and adds, "I SHOULD still shoot your sorry ass anyways, just for keeping me in suspense. But, a promise is a promise." He watches a few other people bounce around, trying to make crash attempts, and pumps a fist in the air. "NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I wanna see some death, destruction, and mass chaos! FINISH HIM!" He means anyone in general by 'Him', but notably, he does point at Hardstrike. "Once again, Jazz is in the lead, several places ahead of any REAL competition. Screw that 'Tortoise and the Hare' crap, speed's where it's at. Topspin's still- Hey, I think I actually managed to get his name right. Time for another beer." He pauses to crack open another can, taking a swig before he continues. "The other one is still tied with Lightspeed, right behind Topspin. Y'know, for someone who's packing a set of BIG ASS DRILLS, you'd think he'd have already ground ole boy to dust. Anyways, Hound's a little ways behind them, with FX and Mitzli jockeying for position behind him. Mirage seems to be trying to make up for lost time, and apologize for that whole invisible thing while he's at it. My forgiveness don't come cheap though, suckah. Hook's waaaaay behind him, mainly because he's completely and totally owning anyone who even LOOKS at him funny, which is why I'm seriously starting to consider tossing him one of my brewskis. Well, I did consider it, anyways. For about a second." The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 19) Hound (lap 3) 18) FX (lap 3) 15) Jazz (lap 4) 13) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 3) 11) Hook (lap 2) 6) Topspin (lap 4) 4) Lightspeed (lap 4) Hardstrike (lap 2) 3) Twin Twist (lap 4) First Aid (lap 3) 2) Mirage (lap 3) Hardstrike spots Twin Twist behind him. Lightspeed is a good guy, Twin Twist needs a lesson. Thusly, he manuevers just in front of the Jumpstarter, avoiding the Ambulance, and hits the brakes, hoping to force Twist into a crash... Hardstrike tries to ram into Twin Twist, without much success. Crane Truck is out of range of anyone again, confound it he's forced to just keep on trucking. Techno-Car pours on the power and pulls out a small advantage over Twin Twist once more. Topspin hasn't disappeared too far down the road, so Lightspeed focuses his efforts on re-catching him and reclaiming the second place he held for the early part of the race. Green military jeep drives at full speed but he is still unable to pass Mirage. "Why am I always stuck behind fast guys? I can't reach Twin Twist!" Hound makes a quick move to his left and hits the accelerator trying to pass Mirage. Jet Boat coasts along, wagging his wings a little as he passes a grand stand to acknowledge the adoring public. To Twin Twist, he radios. "'ey, you would be in bronze territory hotshot if ya' would've clobbered the Technobot." Ambulance (First Aid) smashes against a wall due to Hardstrike's crashing into him, and has to slowly back away, turn, and get back into the race by starting, "Primus, I'm sure not having very much luck right now. Apparently nobody is able to drive very well..." Aid says as he pulls back into the inside track to pick up some speed. Along the way, however, Twin Twist comes roaring along. Drills, meet ambulance. Ambulance, meet drills. Bad luck on Aid's part? Secretly wanting to smash TT for being drunk and making him lose face in front of the humans? OOCly looking for an excuse to crash into someone? Who knows! First Aid crashes forcefully into Twin Twist! White Porsche 935 comes up behind the 69 Mustang...after calculating a few things the porsche slows down and passes by the outside and once more puts the pedal to the metal and distances himself from Miztli's car. "Yo! Mirage, First Aid! You guys holding up ? Just a few more laps!" Drill Tank races around across the finish line, marking off another completed lap. Topspin continues to gain a stronger lead as second-place, leaving Lightspeed in for third..? Maybe Lightspeed needs to fall further back in the race for third. Twin Twist unleashes the power of his twin engines, enabling him to ready to ream the hell out of Lightspeed! Chrome drills spin.. could this be it!? No! Hardstrike has to ass it up once again, trying to nail the Jumpstarter for the second time. Mentally, Twin Twist marks off a third check next to Hardstrike's name. The sudden swerve in order to dodge the loser causes him to completely miss Lightspeed. Of course, First Aid would make things worse. By tapping his rear, he's sent straight at Lightspeed. Twin Twist crashes forcefully into Lightspeed! Twin Twist receives a radio transmission. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast should probably be paying more attention to the road, what with the cloud of smoke coming up. But a topless catgirl in the seat next to you can be mightily distracting, at least when you're a Man-Beast. The Mustang penetrates the cloud in front of him but passes through the heaviest portion soon afterwards. At least the distraction seems to be missing, as Miztli's passenger is nowhere to be seen. But the Mustang soon starts to swerve from side to side randomly across the track... Twin Twist transmits a message via radio. Twin Twist switches off his radio. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer is back near Hound and he could rear end him, but decides not to for the moment. He wants to get back into the line with him, but then decides naw..what the hell. "Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!" He speeds towards Hound and hopes to make a connection this time, but are the fates with him? Can he possibly do it? "Revelation 7:12: "And I looked as he opened the sixth seal, and behold there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth, and the moon became as blood...and the Junkions shall place in this race or I'll sell my soul!" Mirage keeps on trucking as he moves on down the track finally begining to pick up some speed as he isn't rammed, smashed or generaly mangaled at this point. Mirage cringes as he watchs Twin Twist smash right into Lightspeed and intones "Hey guys why don't you keep it civil out here.... this is suppost to be a nice friendly race." FX tries to ram into Hound, without much success. Ambulance (First Aid) gasps as he 'accidently' rams into Twin Twist, 'accidently' sending him hurling towards Lightspeed, which 'accidently' causes Lightspeed to muck up. "Sorry, Twin Twist!" he calls out, "I didn't do it on purpose!" oO That'll teach that bastard to get drunk in a public place and scare humans Oo Drill Tank replies, "Ey-yo, no worries! Ah'll take it out on yo' faceplate aftahward.." Ambulance (First Aid) sighs at the reply, and only has the cat-woman's shirt to comfort him. Unfortunately he's a robot, and thus cannot fully appreciate it. Except at TFDD. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer swerves again, and just barely misses, "CRAP!" He heads for a wall and just pulls out and back onto the road before he hits speaking to himself in 3rd person, "By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged." FX continues down the track. Judge Mills would jump to his feet, if he weren't already standing up. He sputters for a moment, drops of beer flying off of his lips. After a minute, he forgets trying to actually say anything, and just raises his gun, popping off a shot at Hardstrike. "I warned you, Slapnuts. Even THE PACIFIST, WUSSY AMBULANCE GUY GOT IT RIGHT, for cryin' out loud." He doesn't even miss a beat in announcing the current standings, although he does pause for a moment to whistle appreciatively. "And speaking of Pacifist Wussy Ambulances, First Aid shows he ain't no punk, as he hands a SMACKDOWN to Twin Twist and drives him right up Lightspeed's tailpipe. Good lord, those drills left their mark. They look like pinballs down there." "Jazz STILL has the race in the bag, Topspin's still kicking everyone else's ass, and Lightspeed manages to sail by Hardstrike without even slowing down, thanks to a drill-assisted rearending by Twintwist. Who has been punked out by First Aid, who obviously doesn't believe in all that "Do No Harm" BS. Where in the world did that T-Shirt that's clinging to his windshield come fro- Oh. Um... younger viewers might want to take the moment to leave the room. Or something. Just don't look at what's going on in Mitzli's car, because not only are you too young, but you don't deserve to watch, you little bastards. FX manages to miss Hound spectacularly, and... well, the rest of you aren't even worth mentioning, so I'm just going to save my breath, okay? Okay." Judge Mills strikes Hardstrike with .357 Magnum. The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 16) Hook (lap 2) 13) Topspin (lap 4) 10) Mirage (lap 3) 6) Hound (lap 4) First Aid (lap 3) Hardstrike (lap 2) 4) Jazz (lap 5) Lightspeed (lap 4) 3) Twin Twist (lap 4) 1) FX (lap 4) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 4) Crane Truck zooms on by, having no one to crash into sure does suck. He didn't join this race to simply not hurt people. First Aid's "lovetap" keeps Twin Twist from advancing any further. However, it does allow Twin Twist to stay in place long enough for him to lock sights on Jazz. A gold medal for his brother is definately worth slagging Hardstrike, First Aid, and getting his butt whooped by Scattershot. Twin Twist crashes forcefully into Jazz! Ambulance (First Aid) gasps - again - at Judge Mill's announcing, "But... But I didn't do it on purpose." he murmers as if the Judge had accused him of beating up school children or something. Anyway, the medic keeps on trucking, but alas, a red light bleeps on his dashboard, "Sonuva... my engine's starting to overheat. I figure there's a 1 in a million chance that it could cause a meltdown." Long Pause. "Better not take the chance." He hits the brakes and slows down... right into Jazz, hopefully. Ambulance (First Aid) actually isn't close enough to hit Jazz, apparently! Dangit, well, I dunno, Hardstrike then. Can't hit my partner. First Aid crashes forcefully into Hardstrike! Drill Tank snatches victory from First Aid's hands! Jazz's ass is his! "Nice job," Topspin radios back to Twin Twist, while continuing his paces around the track, with nary a soul in sight. Green military jeep is still driving at full speed but he can't pass Mirage. The other Autobot is just too fast for him. Hound turns his radio on and starts to play some classic music, trying to distract Mirage. "I want to pass I want to pass!" Hardstrike spots Hound and First Aid. He is then struck forcefully by said Ambulance. And sent careening into Hound. Uh-oh. Hardstrike tries to ram into Hound, without much success. Ambulance (First Aid) wanted Jazz's ass! Techno-Car suddenly finds himself rear-ended by Twin Twist, sending him spinning out of control and killing any momentum he had going. Since Hound just passed him, he's down to fourth and out of the medal positions. There might -just- be enough time to claw it back if he can stay clear of more traffic. He blinks as Jazz draws alongside and then promptly has to take evasive action as Twin Twist claims another victim. Mirage has connected. Drill Tank has Jazz's ass. Go back to the repair bay so you can talk about TFDD with your fellow medics. Mirage is neather in range to do harm nor recieve it at this point so just keeps on going straight around the track. White Porsche 935 looks around as this part of the track is getting crowded...he checks the mirror only to see the drill tank ram into him and sending him into a spin "Whoa!! Keep it civil boys! No need to be jealous." After a few spins the porsche regains control and re-accelerates...Shifting up to maintain his lead... .oO(Getting close...Gotta hang in there.)Oo. Current track positions: 16) Hook (lap 2) 13) Topspin (lap 4) 10) Mirage (lap 3) 6) Hound (lap 4) First Aid (lap 3) Hardstrike (lap 2) 4) Jazz (lap 5) Lightspeed (lap 4) 3) Twin Twist (lap 4) 1) FX (lap 4) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 4) Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer looks on down the track and he sighs, "Never give up! Never surrender!" He looks over and spots the Man Beast's Beast in the hands of a cat girl. Slowing down a bit he laughs to himself, "It's the simple things in life you treasure." While getting a show he tries to pass Mr. Man Beast and pull ahead quoting the movie: Stewardess School, "Blow job is two words." Speeding along he tries to get back where he was a few moments ago back near Hound and trying to pass him, "I don't intend to take up any more time than I will." Judge Mills raises his pistol, blowing a bit of smoke away from the barrel, and then tosses it into the corner of the booth. "Next time, I'm bringing my rocket launcher." He watches with amusement as more crashes happen, leaning forward to speak into the mike. "I... I think I'm actually starting to feel a little giddy. It could be the beer, or it could be the fact that Twin Twist just made Jazz JUST ANOTHAH VICTIM! It's about time someone put his free ride on hold. If the rest of you slackers had even half a set of balls between the lot of you, you'd have done that from the beginning. Now look at you, punks! You're going to lose! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LOOOOOOOOSE!" He breaks down into a drunken fit of laughing, before he finally gets back to announcing. "Okay, okay. We have First Aid adding Hardstrike to his list of victims- I swear, it's always the quiet ones you have to look out. Someone better run a background check on this guy and make sure he's not a wanted serial killer or something. 'Medic', my ass. Jazz is slowing down a bit, but still clearly in the lead. Topspin's STILL way ahead of the rest of the pack, followed by Hound and Lightspeed. Twin Twist is still lurking behind them, and probably going to ruin Lightspeed's day even more in a minute. Mitzli's somehow managed to pick up some speed, despite having his hands- and the rest of him- 'occupied'. FX is neck and neck with him, and the rest of you suck, so IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU'RE DOING!" From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast summons up the concentration to once again stabilize his driving. After all, in his current condition it really wouldn't do well to go careening into a wall, would it. Only one other car in the vicinity, Miztli turns to the Hotroddin' Volkswagen and gives a broad grin and a wave. It doesn't mean he'll just let FX pass him, though. The Man-Beast may be otherwise distracted, but he's still in this race. Though the engine's roar seems to be a bit twitchy, it keeps on the gas. The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 18) Mirage (lap 3) 12) Hound (lap 4) 11) Lightspeed (lap 4) 9) First Aid (lap 3) 8) FX (lap 4) 7) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 4) 6) Twin Twist (lap 4) Hardstrike (lap 2) 4) Jazz (lap 5) 2) Topspin (lap 5) 1) Hook (lap 3) Green military jeep drives at full speed, "I can't believe I'm 3rd!" As he says that, he notices that Lighspeed is coming right behind him. Hound accidently hits the break trying to crash into Lightspeed. The he hits the accelerator en tries /again/ to pass Mirage. Hound tries to ram into Lightspeed, without much success. Techno-Car steps hard on the gas as he chases down Hound, intent on finishing in the top three. And down comes the gap with each passing moment, as Lightspeed turns on his headlights, full beam, to signal he's comin' through. He must succeed! Hardstrike is doing crappy. Hook is even ahead of him. Well, he keeps chugging along, happy to play interference, as if he ever expected to actually win the land race. He notices Twin Twist coming up, and tries to cut off the Jumpstarter.... Hardstrike tries to ram into Twin Twist, without much success. Crane Truck finally gets within range of something to crash into, namely that rolling vibrator known as Topspin. "You will not get any further Autobot!" Yup that's an empty threat because Topspin will likely finish before he even gets halfway to lap 3. But still crashing is the Decepticon's favorite past time after blowing up Autobots and enslaving anything without a Decepticon symbol. Hook crashes forcefully into Topspin! Ambulance (First Aid), still with the girl's shirt stuck in his windshield, sighs as he's causing far more accidents then he'd like right now. "Ok, ok, time to just get back into gear and move along. Be careful, First Aid." he tells himself. The Protectobot speds away from the wounded Hardstrike and tries to take back the lapping that Lightspeed just gave him. "I'm SO going to have to apologise to Hardstrike and Twin Twist once this is all over..." he sighs, idly wondering what to do about the cat-girl's shirt. Judge Mills eyes Hardstrike whiff again, and waves vaguely in the direction of his assistant. "That's it, go get my rocket launcher." "But, sir-" "GO GET MY ROCKET LAUNCHER NOW, DAMMIT!" Drill Tank leaves Jazz eating tread-kicked dust. However, Hardstrike once again (for the third time!) tries to ream him. And he fails, miserably. "Ey-yo," Twin Twist reports to his fellow Autobot. "Latah? We fight. Don't wuss out, or yew'll nevah be a mech again." The Jumpstarter, then, leaves Hardstrike in the dust as well. Jet Boat tries to dodge Hook, but to no avail, as the wily Constructicon jukes right into his tender side. Scattered off course, Topspin spins out with a sputtering of rocket engines. A few curse words rise up from an onboard speaker, and he realigns himself, engines reactivating with a bellow and sending him forth again. Mirage pulls around one corner and manages to keep himself in positon away from the other cars as he pulls up the track. Mirage is a little suprised at himself for passing up First Aid in the race. Mirage ignore the Judge's comment at this point, but doesn't make another move to go invisable to draw his ire again either. White Porsche 935 sees Topspin gaining on him and being rammed by the construction "Dang the medics are going to have a fit when we step off the track." Up ahead is twin twist... "Well you know the saying...Come prepared or don't come at all." With the the porsche speeds away getting into the final push to reach the finish line. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer does pass "Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels" and honks as he passes thinking to himself about what he just saw and sums it all up in a quote, "I gotta say something about that guy up there, and I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, metal, and G-U-T-S, guts! Why, Ted Striker has got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in out large intestine, including the colon!" He looks onto the road ahead and sees that he's got to fight his way past First Aid and Lightspeed to get back to where he wants to be, but it looks like it may be kind of hard to catch up, but he thinks to himself, "We're not your classic superheros. We're not the favorites. We're the other guys...May the forks be with us!" He presses on fast as his wheels will take him. From Miztli's car, Miztli doesn't have much success keeping up with FX. Damn hotroddin' Volkswagen! The car swerves sharply once more, but this time just to avoid the buildup ahead as he makes the push to move past the aggressive Autobots. The hastily erected roadblock of Autobots passed, time for Miztli to once again focus on the more imporant things. Judge Mills waves a hand disgustedly, and continues announcing while his assistant runs off. "As usual, Hardstrike misses a rather large, not all that fast target. But hey, that's no surprise. And as usual, most of y'all suck. And whoa- speaking of sucking, someone get me a close up on Mitzli's car." The cameraman does as requested, and Mills is silent for a good long time, watching with interest. Eventually, someone starts squawking over his headset, and he mutters, "Okay, okay. Getting back into the thick of things..." He takes a moment to assess the track, and then continues. "The only notable smackdown is Hook slapping Topspin around, just like he did half the other punks out on the track. Jazz is... STILL IN THE LEAD, although Topspin somehow managed to close the distance. Hound's waaaay behind them, Lightspeed- WHY IN THE HELL IS HE CALLED LIGHTSPEED WHEN HE DRIVES LIKE MISS DAISY?!- is right behind him, and FX is a little ways behind them. Mitzli, as you've seen... is doing VERY WELL FOR HIMSELF, if you know what I mean. Twin Twist SHOULD be taking the opportunity to slap Hardstrike around, but instead seems to have the notion in his block-shaped head that he can actually finish in the race. Admirable. Really F'N STUPID, but admirable nonetheless. And... Once again, I'm not even going to mention the rest of you, because you suck. And I mean, YOU SUCK. The way I suck down beer, you suck. The way that catgirl su-" There's a loud, sudden BLEEEP, that continues for quite some time, resulting in a bewildered Judge staring at the camera crew. "What the hell?!" The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 18) Lightspeed (lap 4) 17) FX (lap 4) 16) Hound (lap 4) 15) First Aid (lap 3) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 4) 13) Twin Twist (lap 4) 12) Jazz (lap 5) 9) Hardstrike (lap 2) 4) Mirage (lap 4) Hook (lap 3) 2) Topspin (lap 5) Hardstrike is finally out of range of the other racers, and quickly steadies himself onto the race track agian, and hits the accelerator. He speeds onwards, wary of any who might get too close.... Green military jeep miss his accidental crash on Lightspeed and he's now behind FX. He remembers that the Junkion leader tried 2 times to ram him. Hound hits the accelerator and tries to crash into FX. "Pay back time buddy!" Drill Tank leaves Hardstrike in the dust. All is well, until he notices /Jazz/ at his rear! So, Twin Twist decides to stop. Topspin needs to become Gold and Silver Medal Winner God Fire Jumpstartimus Prime. Hound crashes forcefully into FX! It is go time. No more holding out, no more caution. Full speed, or no medal. Mentally gritting himself, Topspin presses his thrust to the maximum his vehicular form will push itself. At insanely dangerous speeds he blasts by one and all, in a mad dash to gain ground on Jazz. Twin Twist tries to ram into Jazz, without much success. Crane Truck likes laying the smack around, it makes him feel important. Or gives him an excuse to go back to the cons without placing in the top three. Whichever reason it may be he doesn't stop trying to hurt other cars, well lookee here, Mirage is back for a third helping of bumper whupping. He puts the pedal to the metal and just tries to crash into the Autobot once again. Hook tries to ram into Mirage, without much success. White Porsche 935 speeds and passes the missile tank and comes up behind the drill tank who is driving eracticly .oO(Gee if he wants to ram me he should at least try and not make it obvious.)Oo. The porsche closes in on the drill tank and at the last second brakes dodging the attack. Techno-Car dives to the outside and flies past Hound, nimbly diging the attempt to crunch him. He's back up to third, though with Jazz so close to finishing there's probably not enough time to make any further progress up the field - Topspin is just too far ahead, realistically. And now FX is coming up fast behind. Man, next time, remember to have a tune-up beforehand. Mirage growls at the oh bitter sweet irony as he pulls up next to Hook again... the one car he has been trying to avoid this whole match and he had to pull up next to him. Mirage swerves wide of Hook in an attempt to get away from the Constructicon and Mircacle upon mircales he actaully doesn't get rammed for a third time. Ambulance (First Aid) chugs painfully along as the sweet-aft Mustang belonging to Miztli the Man-Beast pulls up beside him and threatens to lap the medic. "Oh, it's you again. Miss, I think I have something of yours." He waves his windshield-wiper, and the incredibly skimpy shirt that formerly was attached to the cat-girl flops around, but stays attached to the ambulance. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast seems to have no hope of catching up to FX. But as he speeds on down the straightaway, a familiar ambulance can be seen approaching. The Man-Beast's driving seems to improve as the Mustang surges ahead with burst of speed. The catgirl passenger finally reveals herself once more, and leans into the backseat to fetch a drink. Pulling out a bottle of cream, she glances briefly towards the Man-Beast and puts it back in the cooler, instead chosing a bottle of beer. She quickly downs the bottle, and turns to wave out the window to the ambulance as they near one another. Current track positions: 18) Lightspeed (lap 4) 17) FX (lap 4) 16) Hound (lap 4) 15) First Aid (lap 3) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 4) 13) Twin Twist (lap 4) 12) Jazz (lap 5) 9) Hardstrike (lap 2) 4) Mirage (lap 4) Hook (lap 3) 2) Topspin (lap 5) Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer somehow manages to pass Hound and he's very surprised by that and also very frightened by that as he thinks he can keep it up, but no. He is hit on the side by Hound which makes him swerve all about the road. His tires screech and the aroma of burnt rubber fills the area around FX as he leaves a few marks on the track. Trying to right himself he would shake a fist at Hound, but realizes that what's good for the goose is good for the gander and you've gotta roll with the punches. He yells out to Hound, "May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I'm sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly inscribed." Thinking to himself about how hound must be feeling he can only comment to himself, ("Well, look closely boys, 'cause that is a World's Record sh** eating grin.") He starts to take off on the track again gaining speed, but now he knows that he will not be that close to the top again unless a miracle happens, but at least he gave it his best shot. Judge Mills sighs, shaking his head. "Y'know, the entire point of a race is to go fast. You know, push the right pedal down as far as you can, and BEAT THE OTHER GUYS, not stop in the middle of the track, lameass. I hope you hit a pebble and flip seventeen times until you hit the spectator stand, just for that. In fact, I'd shoot you, if MY LAZY ASSISSTANT WOULD GET HER ASS BACK HERE WITH MY ROCKET LAUNCHER. Feh." He shuts up for a good long while, as he drains the entire contents of the can. "But, you shouldn't feel bad about making yourself look stupid, as Hook just lost a few badass points for missing the wussiest Autobot around. And he's not invisible this time, so he doesn't even have a good excuse. HOWEVER, unlike you, he's managed to accumulate several hundred cool points, after all the ass he's been kicking in this race. So, bottom line is... YOU SUCK. Next! Hound proves again that he's nobody's lapdog, as he manages to smack FX a good one. Mitzli is STILL enjoying himself waaaaay too much, and committing sins I didn't even know EXISTED. In other news, Jazz is still waxing EVERYBODY, including Topspin, our best, last hope for peace. Lightspeed's bringing up the pack of losers, FX is right behind him, Houndi s right behind him, and Mitzli's right behind him. Y'know, normally I'd be pissed about losing all the money I bet on you before the race, but at least you proved a floor show. So you and me, we're cool. The REST of you punks don't even deserve being mentioned, but out of the drunkenness of my heart, I'll do it anyways. Mainly so your family and friends know how much you've let them down today. Twin Twist is... in there somewhere. First Aid's waaaay behind him, Hook is even further behind him, and Hardstrike.... DAY-UM! Is Hardstrike even on the same TRACK as the rest of them?" The racers speed around the track.... Current track positions: 20) Hound (lap 4) 17) FX (lap 4) 16) Twin Twist (lap 4) 14) Hardstrike (lap 2) 12) Mirage (lap 4) 10) Topspin (lap 5) 7) Hook (lap 3) 5) Lightspeed (lap 5) 3) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 5) 2) Jazz (lap 6) 1) First Aid (lap 4) Green military jeep hits the accelerator after ramming FX. "Come on, the race is almost over!" The Autobot goes at full speed but Lightspeed is way too fast and too far. Crane Truck finds himself in another lap without a suitable target, oh how shameful this is. So race race race around the track. Drill Tank missed Jazz by so much! Alas, he wasn't smart enough to realize not to telegraph his intentions to Autobots smarter than himself. Jet Boat hears the calls of Jazz crossing the finish line, and lamentedly slows himself to prevent a burnout, taking the remainder of the course uncharacteristically cautiously, in order to insure he finishes. Techno-Car puts enough distance between him and those behind that he hangs on for third place, and with it the bronze medal. Looking back, it was about as good as he could hope for. Jazz was in a class of his own, and Topspin just had more speed on the day. White Porsche 935 sees the finish line "Yes almost there." The porsche engine guns up a final time whining as the 720 hps are whipped into a frenzy. Jazz passes the finish line 1st. Mirage has made up some decent pacing considering for the start of the race he was totally Hook's B*tch. Mirage sighs to himself wanting to be at least on the same final lap as everyone else who was in the lead but it looks like that isn't to be as Jazz crosses the finish line ahead of him nearly by an entire lap and 1/2. Mirage is still happy enough that his friend has crossed the finish line ahead of all others. Mirage emits out "Go Jazz!!!" Hardstrike lacks a targer...yet agian. Whee. He keeps on chuggin. Hotroddin' Volkswagen w/Flaming U-Haul Trailer continues to try and pull ahead, but he sees the checkered flag come out. A sigh escapes from his lips as he knows the race is over. He must go and see Hound after this and apologize to him for trying to ram him earlier and to congratulate him on his ramming of him. FX just slows to a crawl as what's the use it's all over. He's happy that Jazz won and FX pulls into the pit area when he can get there not wanting to take away from the winners spotlight. From Miztli's car, Miztli Man-Beast watches his companion send First Aid careening off the track upon being flashed, pulling her back inside the car once more as the finish line looms into view once more. With relaxed ease he keeps clear of any other cars, but only one has ever even tried to scuff his high-dollar paint job. While he doesn't cross in position enough to earn a medal, the Man-Beast has no problem accepting 4th. Let the Machines enjoy having beaten the hell out of each other, he earned his own prize. Current track positions: 20) Hound (lap 4) 17) FX (lap 4) 16) Twin Twist (lap 4) 14) Hardstrike (lap 2) 12) Mirage (lap 4) 10) Topspin (lap 5) 7) Hook (lap 3) 5) Lightspeed (lap 5) 3) Miztli's Bitchin' Wheels (lap 5) 2) Jazz (lap 6) 1) First Aid (lap 4) White Porsche 935 transforms into his robot mode and lands in a stylish pose and slows down in a shower of sparks as his feet slide on the ground. The autobot raises both arms in victory, he waves and smiles at the crowd. He obviously enjoyed the rush of racing. He walks over to the other 2 medalist to congratulate them on an exciting race. Judge Mills yawns as the race concludes, in the way he figured it would once Jazz started smoking everyone like crack. "AND THE RACE IS OVER. I REPEAT, THE RACE IS OVER. No, really, the race is over. That means STOP, you frikkin' retards!" Of course, some of them are obligated to continue the race, and some of them don't have a chance in hell of placing anyways. He watches the second and third entries, and then gets back on the mike. "First place goes to Jazz, who had the entire thing in a bag from the get-go. Next is Topspin in second place, amazingly enough, since he didn't cause anywhere NEAR enough mayhem to deserve the position. Still, even more amazing is the fact that Light-"Someone PLEASE rename me before I embarrass myself any further"-speed managed to finish at all, let alone in third place. I want someone to check him for a 'Made in Mexico' label when this is over. Damn shoddy Mexican craftsmanship." He glances around the track, considering for a moment, and then continues. "Honorable mentions go to Hook, who was pretty much the MVP and roaming badass of the race. I wanna see you enter next year, y'hear? Let's see, who else didn't suck too badly... Oh, yeah- Mitzli gets props, for managing to finish in FOURTH PLACE, despite not having his hands on the steering wheel or his eyes even on the road for more than half the race. Ah... Mirage gets a mention for being the only person aside from Hardstrike to make me consider committing coldblooded murder for the hell of it, with his little invisibility trick. And Hardstrike... Well, there's so much I can say about Hardstrike, but I'll just leave it at this- Get the hell off of my track and don't ever come back, or else I'll shoot you in the face and cut off your *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP*-" Mills is cut off by the audio technician, and eventually wrestled out of the booth and dragged off by half of the security detail. He puts up one hell of a fight, considering the state that he's in, though. Eventually, some dork in a suit takes his place on the mike and simply says, "And that concludes our race for the evening. Good night, and please come again. No, really, I want to see you back here next year. My wallet's overflowing, thanks to all of you. Suckers." That said, he shuts off the mike and steps away from the booth. The White Porsche unfolds, arms and legs are becoming visible. The body seems to cartwheel in mid-air, the robot form of Jazz stylishly lands and is ready for action. The volkswagen shakes and a puff of smoke fills the area. You hear, "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the gum on the bottom of yer shoe....I am FFFFFXXXXXX!" The smoke clears and FX stands there looking around. With the race over, Twin Twist takes less than half a second to transform. Twin Twist flips his legs off his chest, transforming into a robot. Look out! Hound shifts to his robot mode. Hook leaps into the air, he twists and turns, body parts start to show, he transforms from a green crane truck to a Constructicon. You briefly assess your condition... Current Endurance: 80 Damage Level: 100% Energon Level: 100 FX transmits a message via radio. Hound receives a radio transmission. Twin Twist turns on his radio. Mirage begins to unfold from his car mode to robot mode. Hound transmits a message via radio. FX receives a radio transmission. Hound removes itself from the race roster. FX transmits a message via radio. Hound receives a radio transmission. Techno-Car has arrived. Transmission from FX: Jazz, congratulations. It couldn't have been won by a better person. FX transmits a message via radio. Twin Twist was planning on putting Topspin on his shoulders and carrying him through the stands, but his brother has left. "Ey, Lightspeed! Wait up!" The Jumpstarter waves his left hand at Lightspeed, trying to get his attention before the Technobot leaves. Lightspeed shifts to robot mode. Jazz looks at FX's pit nods and smiles. You transmit a message to FX: Thank you man, we made it all entertaining for the people I'm sure everone had a blast that's the important. FX receives a radio transmission. Lightspeed was indeed about to leave, but turns to look back over one shoulder as he hears someone calling his voice. A moment or two of searching among the crowd soon picks out the offending individual. "Twin Twist...What's up?" FX nods and he radios back. Hardstrike transforms, brushes himself off, and congratulates Jazz. " Sorry for that attempt to crash, but it was the most I could do in the race.." he says, chuckling nervously. Transmission from FX: I can't wait until next year! I hope that we did put on a good show for them. I'll read the reviews in the paper tomorrow! FX transmits a message via radio. Jazz pats Hardstrike on the shoulder "Awww no problem dude. The crowd loved every minute of the race and that's what ruled the most about today." Twin Twist suddenly breaks off into a sprint. The wheels in his feet enabling him to skate effortlessly toward Lightspeed. "Ey-yo. 'Bout thuh race, ah jus' wonna say dat dere wuz nothin' personal in havin' ta ream yuh. Ah'm jus' lookin' out fo' mah brutha, y'know?" The Autobot extends his hand to Lightspeed for a shake. Hardstrike nods, " And it was fun..." he says, smiling. " Hey...Twin Twist...if you have the time, I wouldn't mind taking you up on that offer you made for a fight..." he says, eyeing a combat pit that is empty. " See if you can back up all that talk of yours. " Lightspeed shrugs his shoulders somewhat nonchalantly in response to Twin Twist, mainting a calm demeanor despite the excitement of the race. "Don't worry about it. It's no big deal, really. It was just an excuse to let off a bit of steam." He extends his own hand, shaking the one offered. Twin Twist shakes Lightspeed's hand and nods his head. "Koo', koo'." He ignores Hardstrike, as speaking to a Technobot ranks higher up on the chain of attention than he. Hardstrike frowns, and crosses his arms, waiting for Twin Twist to finish. .oO(Patience. Ripping his head off outside of holographic combat is not the answer.....) he thinks to himself. Jazz looks around at his fellow autobots "Well I'm off to our hotel suite to cool down, relax and enjoy some of the other events on TV. Those seats are ok but they were not totally made for us." Hardstrike's vehicular body pulls upwards from the middle, and begins to re-shape into his robot body. FX leaves to Last Chance Alley. FX has left. Twin Twist turns his head to the side, scoping out Hardstrike. "And wot do /yew/ want?" He asks, with a rather annoyed tone to his voice. "Couldn't yew see ah wuz talkin' ta someone?" You leave the stadium from its western exit gate and head to the newly constructed hotel. ***** *** * * * * * * *** *** **** * * *** * * * * *** * * *** *** ** * * ** * ** * *** *** *** * * *** *** * * * * *** **** * * *** * * * * *
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