| abstract
| - A novel by Austin Grossman about a world where superheroes exist and have been around since World War II. The setting is an Affectionate Parody of both the Marvel Universe and The DCU, and like these two is decidedly in the realm of the Fantasy Kitchen Sink, with everything from magicians to aliens. Most of the characters are a Captain Ersatz or a pastiche of superheroes and superhero tropes. The story is told in alternating viewpoints between Fatale (a new recruit to an Avengers/Justice League of America analogue) and Doctor Impossible (a super villain who has fallen on hard times and is currently in jail for the 12th time). The great hero CoreFire is missing, and his Arch Nemesis Doctor Impossible has escaped from prison. Coincidence? ...well, actually, yes, much to Impossible's annoyance. No matter, he has his own plans; it's just going to be harder to implement them now that the rest of the superhero world is trying to rescue the hero he doesn't have hostage. While the world is fairly insane, most of the characters act like regular people do, making them in effect Straight Men to the bizarre milieu they inhabit.
* Fatale: An ex-NSA Cyborg whose implants come from a Super Soldier program that never really existed; became a candidate for that program after a near-fatal traffic accident in Brazil. She doesn't remember why she was there, or any of her previous life. Weighs about 500 pounds due to all the metal in her body.
* Doctor Impossible: A mix of The Green Goblin, Doctor Doom, and pre-crisis Lex Luthor, though with actual powers. He is afflicted with Malign Hypercognition Disorder ("Mad Scientist disease") due to his great intellect, and has no goal other than trying to Take Over the World. As one of the viewpoint characters, the tales of his Backstory and how he came to be (not to mention the actual day-to-day frustrations and sadnesses of a Super Villain) make him surprisingly sympathetic. Some of his plans have included the "Meta-Metavirus" and "The Fungal Menace." He has also attempted to impersonate the Pope.
* CoreFire: An ersatz Superman, who is one of the few truly invincible heroes in this world. He and Doctor Impossible are nemeses; Doctor Impossible was the one whose Freak Lab Accident created him, though CoreFire doesn't know this until the end of the book. Implied to be a Jerkass.
* Damsel: A half-human legacy hero, whose weather-god father married a Green-Skinned Space Babe and who leads the New Champions. Something of an ersatz composite of Donna Troy/Wonder Girl (second-generation Flying Brick heroine who in her Troia days had a glowing deflector shield, who spent years feeling overshadowed by her more famous predecessor) and Ms. Marvel (Flying Brick with alien DNA and hardass-leader attitude, who spent years feeling overshadowed by her male counterpart). But at the end of the book add aspects of Storm and Aquaman, gaining Elemental Powers-- which further reflect Troia and Ms. Marvel, who both underwent a Re-Power or two in their long and tangled histories.
* Elphin: A literal fairy who has a magic spear and can control the weather. Fatale, for one, thinks her story is ridiculous for most of the book. Seems to be based loosely on characters like The Mighty Thor, who claim to be immortal mythical or religious beings, but people doubt their legitimacy.
* Blackwolf: An ersatz Batman, whose Badass Normal demeanor comes from autism. He and Damsel were once married, until the widely publicized breakup of the original Champions.
* Lily: A woman made out of indestructible crystal sent back in time to prevent a horrible blight from destroying the Earth. After she stopped the blight, she decided that she liked the original future better and became a Well-Intentioned Extremist in her quest to bring that future back. Or so she says; in fact, she was originally CoreFire's Lois Lane. And he forgot about her.
* Feral: A street-level hero who is a anthropomorphic tiger. Similar to Wolverine, although the fact he's a Anthropomorphic tiger calls back to Mr Tawky Tawny of Captain Marvel fame.
* Rainbow Triumph: Blackwolf's nominal Kid Sidekick, even though they don't get along very well. Has Super Strength and Super Speed thanks to implants keeping her alive, but must take medication every few hours or she'll die painfully. Corporate mascot for her father's biotech firm. Would remind one of any of several superheroes under the age of 15, with a little self-destructive child actor thrown in. Most particularly Carrie Kelly (Earth 31 Robin) and, somewhat presciently, Damian Wayne, the current earth 1 Robin (in that she requires cybernetic/transhuman augmentation from her wealthy parents' corporation to survive).
* Mister Mystic: The resident magician, who is somewhat estranged from the team (he often just pops up when needed and later disappears into whatever magical realm or brownstone he inhabits). Something of a cross between Marvel's Doctor Strange and DC's Zatara and The Phantom Stranger. Other than CoreFire himself, it can be argued that this is the guy Doctor Impossible hates the most, since Magic can't be explained by the science the Doc holds most dear. It's commented that depending on who you ask he's either the most powerful member of the team or a trick-based Badass Normal, reminiscent of Doing in the Wizard approaches to magical characters.
* The Pharaoh: a Harmless Villain who claimed to be the reincarnation of Ramses and had a Thor-like hammer which made him invincible. Dr. Impossible expresses doubt on his Backstory, after the Pharaoh is unable to decide which Ramses he was exactly. He serves as a parody of numerous badly realised comic book villains that were quickly phased out despite their powers, down to his grandiose backstory, silly costume, and accidental copying of an established hero's name. "He's an Egyptian!"
* Galatea: A robotic woman who sacrificed herself to save the world. Said to have developed something like emotions. Similar to the Vision or the Red Tornado.
* Baron Ether: The oldest supervillain known, having lived for possibly over a hundred years. Committed a plethora of crimes before being caught and put under house arrest by his archnemesis the Mechanist. He's resigned himself to his powerless status but is not above giving Doctor Impossible help when he calls on him. Loosely analogous to Fu Manchu or Ra's Al-Ghul in terms of agelessness, great intelligence and esoteric nature.
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