About: Office Worker's Rant: An Excerpt   Sponge Permalink

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'...Disaster strikes again. Jackson, an Afro-Caribbean from London challenged me to a game of squash. I declined, saying that I was taking my fiancée to the cinema that night. I was immediately called into the office, and was accused of being a 'mad-dog' white supremacist who hated blacks. It did not occur to them that my refusal was a graceful gesture intended to save Jackson and myself from aching legs, nagging injuries, rancid jockstraps, and a spurned girlfriend who would never forget it. They did not agree, so after a long slog at the office I decided to give Jackson a game of squash. After a long slog on the squash courts, I beat him 3-2. The next day however, I was stopped from going to work by a group of 5 black heavies who were blocking my way into the office. They called themselv

AttributesValues
rdfs:label
  • Office Worker's Rant: An Excerpt
rdfs:comment
  • '...Disaster strikes again. Jackson, an Afro-Caribbean from London challenged me to a game of squash. I declined, saying that I was taking my fiancée to the cinema that night. I was immediately called into the office, and was accused of being a 'mad-dog' white supremacist who hated blacks. It did not occur to them that my refusal was a graceful gesture intended to save Jackson and myself from aching legs, nagging injuries, rancid jockstraps, and a spurned girlfriend who would never forget it. They did not agree, so after a long slog at the office I decided to give Jackson a game of squash. After a long slog on the squash courts, I beat him 3-2. The next day however, I was stopped from going to work by a group of 5 black heavies who were blocking my way into the office. They called themselv
dcterms:subject
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
Revision
  • 4747756(xsd:integer)
Date
  • 2010-09-21(xsd:date)
abstract
  • '...Disaster strikes again. Jackson, an Afro-Caribbean from London challenged me to a game of squash. I declined, saying that I was taking my fiancée to the cinema that night. I was immediately called into the office, and was accused of being a 'mad-dog' white supremacist who hated blacks. It did not occur to them that my refusal was a graceful gesture intended to save Jackson and myself from aching legs, nagging injuries, rancid jockstraps, and a spurned girlfriend who would never forget it. They did not agree, so after a long slog at the office I decided to give Jackson a game of squash. After a long slog on the squash courts, I beat him 3-2. The next day however, I was stopped from going to work by a group of 5 black heavies who were blocking my way into the office. They called themselves the 'Jackson Five'. Apparently, it isn't the done thing to beat Jackson at squash, and they give me the terribly difficult choice of accepting that I lost, or getting jumped. Quicker than you can say 'A-B-C', I accepted defeat. They left. When I spoke to Jackson about them in the office, he said they were his 'Anti-Racial Stealth Enforcers'. I then asked him what on earth could be considered stealthy about them. He replied that MI5 haven't arrested them yet. Well, illegally changing the results of squash matches is hardly undermining national security, is it! However, I would not be surprised if Special Intelligence were onto my fiancée after the splenetic rage she, and her collection of Doulton plates exhibited last night for having to cancel the cinema trip...'
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