About: Robert Kilroy-Silk

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About: Robert Kilroy-Silk Sponge Permalink

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Born to Irish and Oompa-Loompa parents in 1942, Kilroy was educated at the London School of Economics where he studied ninjitsu. Graduating from the European school with a first, he then went on to become the worst-qualified MP in the House of Commons with only three counts of public fluorescence and one of beetleslaughter on his criminal record. As MP for Orkrmrrkr in Lancashire, he was soon recognised for his distinctive taste in cravats and peculiar half Brummie, half Sith accent.

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rdfs:label	Robert Kilroy-Silk
rdfs:comment	Born to Irish and Oompa-Loompa parents in 1942, Kilroy was educated at the London School of Economics where he studied ninjitsu. Graduating from the European school with a first, he then went on to become the worst-qualified MP in the House of Commons with only three counts of public fluorescence and one of beetleslaughter on his criminal record. As MP for Orkrmrrkr in Lancashire, he was soon recognised for his distinctive taste in cravats and peculiar half Brummie, half Sith accent.
dcterms:subject	British television personalities British politicians
abstract	Born to Irish and Oompa-Loompa parents in 1942, Kilroy was educated at the London School of Economics where he studied ninjitsu. Graduating from the European school with a first, he then went on to become the worst-qualified MP in the House of Commons with only three counts of public fluorescence and one of beetleslaughter on his criminal record. As MP for Orkrmrrkr in Lancashire, he was soon recognised for his distinctive taste in cravats and peculiar half Brummie, half Sith accent. An unfortunate voodoo incident in 1976 involving a Frenchman, some bratwurst, vaseline and a tricycle left Kilroy paralysed from the neck up. Extensive surgery has restored his ability to speak, blink, look surprised and sneer, but due to the limitations of 1970s technology, his range of facial expressions is concentrated at extremes. Ever since, he has held a grudge against the European Union, and the EU directive on tricycle seat heights in particular along with a rather nasty rash on his scrotum from the vigorously applied vaseline. Eventually he grew tired of politics and hosted the hit BBC TV series Kilroy, pre-empting Jerry Springer's confrontational style with a dangerously radiant personality (and epidermis), which was a major component of reducing Seasonal Affected Disorder in the UK by 49% every winter amongst housewives, the elderly and students. His bright orange epidermis also kept most of the countries TV repair men in business as viewers were always overloading the TV's by adjusting the colour and contrast settings too much. Following a savagely Leninist essay in the Socialist Worker he was offered the job of Governor General, but unfortunately his ghostwriter conspired against him, penning a particularly politically incorrect piece on the inferior nature of everyone else on the planet which, when published in the Daily Mail, lost him his job, his wife, his car and his collection of erotic Victorian woodcuts. Contrary to popular demand Kilroy has silver pubes, they are not ginger like the rest of his body. Kilroy has had numerous erotic photo-shoots with 'Wife-Beater-Weekly' when asked about this he said "I did it because times were hard". Kilroy has also admitted to masturbating furiously over pictures of his own mother at least 20 times a day while his children shout "squeeze my sugar-tits", with this activity he goes against doctors orders.

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