abstract
| - Do you mean to tell me that after being in labor for over 36 hours you still haven't written an article about us? After all we've done, after all we've sacrificed, you still haven't taken the time to write about us? We know it's not because you're busy calling us because you never call any more. In case you're still wondering, a Jewish Mother is the one who fed you, clothed you, nursed you, and almost died of a stroke/humiliation when you dropped out of med school to do stand up comedy. You think Zadie survived the Holocaust so you could make fart jokes? I had to tell the Rabbi you dropped out so you could study for the LSAT instead. Comedy is not a career. I love Jerry Seinfeld as much as the next mom, but you need to be realistic sweetheart, and if you're going to give me any grandchildren before I die, you need to settle down and have a family. Jokes won't pay for a house, Jewish day school, or even a nice dinner at the 2nd Avenue Deli. Who knows how much longer I'll be around to help you with these things?
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