abstract
| - "The patriarchy hurts men too" is a set of silencing or derailing tactics whose basic motif is to draw attention from the original topic to men's issues in feminist discussion. This is usually done by bringing up certain points in a discussion about women's experiences or oppression that women face:
* that not all men benefit equally from the patriarchy (see Geeks are oppressed)
* that performing masculinity can be difficult (being expected to take the romantic or sexual initiative) or dangerous (being expected to be able to physically fight, being physically bullied)
* that sexual violence happens to men too
* that due to ideas involving masculinity and femininity, men are categorically considered inferior to women in some specific areas of life (such as being a better parent when a choice must be made in a divorce custody case). All of these things are true, and they should be discussed, but insisting that men's problems be constantly acknowledged and included in feminist discussions is a derailing tactic. Men are, as a class, the group advantaged by the patriarchy, and thus spaces discussing the experiences of women and gender diverse peoples are comparatively rare. Rather than derailing conversations about and between women, men who want to discuss male identity, masculinity and the patriarchy need to create new discussions in spaces that aren't marked as women-centred.
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