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| - It was an early, frosty day in 1843 when John Irving set out with his companions, Lewis and Clark, to explore the Louisiana Purchase. Heading westward from Boston, the group traversed the New England states, discovering a settlement of Frenchman heretofore unknown living amidst the glaciers of Providence, Rhode Island. They found a small island a little ways upstream from the waterfall, and decided to build a homestead. Pocahontas, with her l33t language skills, sought out a local tribe with which to trade. She bargained gold and shoes for food, clothing and several farm animals.
- Goat Island is a small island in the Sydney Docklands, Australia. It was named as such after a captain let some goats he had bought in Cape Town out onto the island. The Island was known as 'Mel Mel' to the Aboriginals. The island was used as a convict blockade for convicts being transported to Norfolk Island. In 1831 the colonists started to quarry sandstone on the island using convict labour. In the late 1830's however, fears where arisen over the fact that the island could be a strategic point of defence, and that the quarry was effectively 'quarrying away' the island. Sandstone Quarrying on the island stopped for this reason.
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| abstract
| - Goat Island is a small island in the Sydney Docklands, Australia. It was named as such after a captain let some goats he had bought in Cape Town out onto the island. The Island was known as 'Mel Mel' to the Aboriginals. The island was used as a convict blockade for convicts being transported to Norfolk Island. In 1831 the colonists started to quarry sandstone on the island using convict labour. In the late 1830's however, fears where arisen over the fact that the island could be a strategic point of defence, and that the quarry was effectively 'quarrying away' the island. Sandstone Quarrying on the island stopped for this reason. In 1838 it was decided that Goat island would be a good place to store gunpowder, since it would be on hand for the city of Sydney to use but would not cause too much destruction if it where to explode. Convict gangs were used again to construct a powder magazine on the island. In 1900 all explosives where removed from the island and in 1925 the remaining magazine building was converted into a shipyard that still stands today. The Island is now part of the Sydney Harbour National Park, only the shipyard is accessible to the general public. Goat Island is haunted by a goat called dave
- It was an early, frosty day in 1843 when John Irving set out with his companions, Lewis and Clark, to explore the Louisiana Purchase. Heading westward from Boston, the group traversed the New England states, discovering a settlement of Frenchman heretofore unknown living amidst the glaciers of Providence, Rhode Island. The trio headed towards Albany and discovered an Indian tribe, where the fair Indian maiden Pocahontas lived. The group lucked out, for Pocahontas spoke a whopping 42,037 languages (unfortunately, English wasn’t one of them). After several weeks living among the Navajo tribe of Albany, New York, Lewis and Clark taught Pocahontas English, while Irving had fallen in love with the beautiful princess. Months passed as the group traveled into the Pennsylvania territory (Pennsylvania did not become a state until 1935), past the steel mines of Pittsburgh and northward towards Niagara Falls. Rumors had passed the ears of the explorers of a torrent of water so fierce that not even the mighty Fenway Salmon could swim over it. Pocahontas related tales that her Navajo people had heard from captured tribes about the ferocity of the water and the beauty of the land. When the travelers finally made their along Lake Eerie, towards the Niagara river, and finally up towards the falls, they were shocked and awed. John Irving fell almost as much in love with Niagara Falls as he had with Pocahontas. He begged her to marry him, and she relented, because she and Clark had broken up and things were getting a bit weird. Irving and Pocahontas left the exploration party and looked for an area around the Mighty Niagara for which to set up a home. They found a small island a little ways upstream from the waterfall, and decided to build a homestead. Pocahontas, with her l33t language skills, sought out a local tribe with which to trade. She bargained gold and shoes for food, clothing and several farm animals. Irving had built a modest home that was comfortable for him and his new wife, and he was hoping to start a family. Although, as fate can be cruel, Pocahontas was ripe with syphilis, like most of her family, and was left barren. Irving resigned himself to animal husbandry and decided to breed the farm animals. Unluckily, Pocahontas lacked the l33t skills to correctly identify the gender of animals, and ended up with four female hens, two male bulls, a hermaphroditic donkey, and only one pair of animals suitable for breeding: goats. Litter after litter of kids were born, while Pocahontas slowly became decrepit and ill. She had contracted pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and was fading away while her husband sat by her side day and night, willing his wife to return to health. In April of 1849, she died. Irving mourned her with gusto, for several months refusing to even look at his farm animals. The hens died, the bulls ran away and the donkey drowned in the river. Soon, the farm was overrun with goats. Fifty, sixty, the exact amount is unknown and archaeologists have found bones of sixty-one different goats buried under the original barn that Irving had built. Eventually John Irving emerged from his house, a shell of a man, going mad with the syphilis he had contracted from his wife. He had had enough of the farming life and wished to rejoin his traveling companions who were now in the vicinity of Salt Lake City, Utah (though Irving believed them to be at the bottom of the falls). With his nomadic gear packed, Irving decided that the island on which he lived needed a caretaker. He looked around, but found no other humans to take over his home. Finally, with his brain going and insanity creeping ever further in, he declared the alpha male of the goats Honorary Mayor of the island. Irving headed downstream but did not find his companions. Sullen and depressed, he returned home. Invading the land he had granted unto the goat, Irving had to do something to re-claim his territory. He whipped his pistol out of his vest and challenged the goat to a duel. Charging at him, the goat knocked Irving into the water where he was carried over the falls and drowned. To this day, the descendants of the goats are still the rightful owners of the land. Goat Island, now a state park, is the only park in the nation where the land is not owned by the government and lease money must be paid. The amount that is paid yearly to the goats makes up one-twentieth of our national debt.
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