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| - This is the story of a crack pair I made up, it starts out around the time period of Dark River. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" "I'm fine!" I snap. I grit my teeth as I edge farther out along the fallen tree leading to the gathering. There's no way I'm telling Leafpool I'm having a hard time keeping my balance. She'd think it's because I'm blind! I step onto the shore, feeling sand and pebbles under my paws. Instantly a soft, heather-sweet scent washes over me. It's a WindClan she-cat, sitting a few fox-lengths away. Lionpaw is talking eagerly to her. My pelt bristles in disgust at the affection I can feel coming off him. You mousebrain! You know you're not supposed to have a crush on a WindClan cat! The she-cat stops talking as she notices me. "You brought your brother!" Her delighted gaze feels like sunlight on my pelt. Beside her, Lionpaw bristles in jealousy. I bite back the urge to mew a greeting. Lionpaw may think it's okay to be friendly with a WindClan cat, but I know better! So instead I snap, "No one brought me! I came here myself!" The she-cat flinches away like I swiped my claws at her. Guilt prickles inside of me, but I force it down. I did the right thing. I can't be friends with a WindClan cat-how do I know I could trust her? Yet, as I walk away, I can't get her sweet scent out of my mind-I think her name was Heatherpaw. This is the third time I've seen Lionpaw at a gathering. He's handsome and sweet, and he was so brave when he saved me from that dog… am I falling in love with him? Is that what I'm feeling? He says his brother's coming to this gathering. That's good, I've been looking forward to meeting him. Lionpaw described Jaypaw to me, so I spot him instantly. And-I can't take my eyes off him! Maybe it's something about how his tabby fur looks silver in the moonlight, or maybe it's his blue eyes. Ether way, I feel delighted. "You brought your brother!" I exclaim to Lionpaw. I can tell he hears me. His blue gaze locks with mine-his eyes are cloudy so that I can't really see the pupils, but they are still a very nice shade of blue. Then, to my surprise, he bristles in anger. "No one brought me! I came here myself!" I flinch away, the comment stinging like he had swiped his claws across my muzzle. Heatherpaw, you're overeacting! Scolded a voice in my head. He just has a sharp tongue, that's all, no worse than Crowfeather. Wait. Why am I standing up for him? He's a ThunderClan cat! And he must hate me. For some reason this thought really hurts. But why do I care what he thinks of me? I turn back to Lionpaw. I can tell he likes me, from the look in his eyes. And I do like him a tiny bit. So I decide I could have a future with him-maybe it's aganist the warrior code, but if I fell for Jayfeather I'd be breaking the medicine cat too. Crowfeather had fallen in love with a ThunderClan medicine cat once, and it had caused a lot of trouble. So I'll never love Jaypaw. Not at all. "Heatherpaw." Lionpaw takes a deep breath. "We can't meet anymore." I stare at him in horror. Don't you know what I've done for you? I've given up Jaypaw! No, of course not. No one knows how I felt when I saw Jaypaw at that gathering. No one knows that-as hard as I try to push him away-thoughts of Jaypaw keep returning to me-his eyes, his scent, the sound of his voice. I argue with Lionpaw for a little bit, but it's no use. Lionpaw never changes his mind once it is made up. Finally, furious, I run out the cavern, calling over my shoulder: "Becoming a warrior has better be worth it!" I run back to camp in a daze. No one is out this late, which is good because I am too worked up to think of an excuse for being outside camp. I curl up in my nest, only to find I can't sleep. But it's not the arguement keeping me awake. Once again, Jaypaw is haunting my thoughts. No! I toss and turn. He's grumpy and defensive! He's a ThunderClan medicine cat! He hates me! But it's not until after moonhigh that I drop into a light, troubled sleep. I walk along the WindClan border looking for herbs. Suddently, a familar scent washes over me. Heatherpaw? What is she doing here? And why do I feel so happy that she's here? "Hi, Jaypaw!" She mews cheerfully. I can picture her, slender and beautiful with her eyes glowing happily. Wait. Why I am imagining her as beautiful? I have no idea what she looks like! "Get off ThunderClan's territory!" I growl. "I may be a medicine cat, but I can still fight!" "Uh, I'm actually on the WindClan side of the border." She points out, sounding amused. A wave of irritation washes over me, mostly because she's right. When I scent the air I can tell where the border is, and she's several tail-lengths away, unfortunately. Weirdly accurate, Sneers a voice in my head. I can feel Heatherpaw's eyes burning into my pelt. "Would you stop staring at me?" I hiss. "Sorry, Jaypaw." I can picture her staring at the ground in embarrassment. You'd better be! I hate it when cats stare at me. I'm starting to feel ill, my head is spinning. I've got to get out of here! "I'm going to collect herbs. Leave me alone, okay?" I turn around and bound into the trees. "'Bye, Jaypaw!" Heatherpaw calls after me. Does that cat ever get mad? I continue on. Already the sickening mix of feelings is gone. So why do I wish I could've stayed longer? I walk along, scenting the air for prey. I am daydreaming about a few nights ago, when Jaypaw, Lionpaw, Hollypaw, Breezepaw, and I rescued the kits from the tunnels. Of course, we had had to climb though tunnels far underground and we nearly drowned, but I had secretly enjoyed being near Jaypaw. He had easily guided us though the tunnels to the missing kits, and when the tunnels flooded he helped us swim to the lake. He had tried to warn us about the flood, too. But Lionpaw told him to be quiet. I stop, startled by how quickly I am starting to hate Lionpaw. I can't believe I had a crush on him only a quarter-moon ago! When I first scent him, I think I'm imagining it. But, no- Jaypaw is just on the other side of the ThunderClan border. He lifts his head, and for a moment his blue eyes glow in a way that makes me want to purr like a kit. "Hi, Jaypaw!" I call out. But then he gets that familar denfensive look in his eyes. "Get off ThunderClan's territory!" He growls. "I may be a medicine cat but I can still fight!" His sharp tone didn't bother me. I had seen the look in his eyes when he first noticed me, and I know he is secretly happy to see me. "Uh, I'm actually on the WindClan side of the border." Jaypaw is silent for a moment. I can't take my eyes of his face. I love his eyes, the tabby markings on his forehead, even the shape of his head… "Will you stop staring at me?" "Sorry, Jaypaw." I look at the ground in embarrassment. "I'm going to collect herbs." He annouces. "Leave me alone, okay?" He turns and bounds into the forest. "'Bye, Jaypaw!" I call after him; just because he is being rude dosen't mean I have to be to. His only reply is a lash of his tail. I continue on, for some reason feeling like I'm walking on air. I toss and turn in my nest for a few hours, but I'm too restless to sleep. Finally I get to my paws and pad out of the den. I can see Whitetail's pelt glowing on the other side of camp, where she stands on guard. I can't think of a good excuse for some reason, so I slip out through a gap in the bramble wall that I found a few nights ago. I wander along, lost in thought. I don't realize I'm walking towards the ThunderClan border until I smell their scent marks up ahead. I pause. There's no point in lying to myself: I knew I was hoping to see Jaypaw. He's not going to be out this late! I turn and start walking in a different direction. I am walking past an old, collasped rabbit burrow when the dirt suddently shifts at the entrance. I jump back, startled. Why am I scared? It's just a rabbit. I crouch by the entrance, waiting. But when a white paw cleared away the rest of the soil, a familar tabby face turns toward me. "Jaypaw?" "Heatherpaw? What-" Then he paused. "I'm on WindClan territory, aren't I?" "Yes. What are you doing in a rabbit burrow?" "A rabbit burrow?" He sniffs. "This is an entrance to the tunnels!" "I thought all the tunnel entrances were filled up with mud." "They were. A few just happen to have a layer thin enough to dig through." "Oh." I took a step closer. "What are you doing in the tunnels when it's this late?" "I couldn't sleep, okay?" I look at him closely. His fur prickles. "What?" I guess he can sense that he's being watched, just like any other cat. "Oh, nothing." I reply. "It just sounds like you have a crush on someone." "I'm a medicine cat!" "Who is it?" I lean closer, my heart pounding. Please let it be me! His eyes narrow. "You're a WindClan cat. That's none of your business." He turns around, ready to go back into the tunnels. "Wait!" I say. His cloudy gaze flickers back to me. "I-I'd like to see the tunnels again. Y'know, to see how they've changed since the flood." "Fine." He shrugs. "Follow me." He vanishes into the tunnels. I squeeze in after him. This tunnel is a little narrower than the others, and I have to dip my head down slightly to keep my ears from brushing the ceiling. Almost immediantly darkness surronds me, and I go on more slowly. Jaypaw goes on straight ahead without breaking his pace. But then, the darkness wouldn't really bother him. Then I can see faint light up ahead, and a moment later the tunnel stops. I jump out into the cavern, which is only faintly lit, but after the pitch-darkness of the tunnel it seems as bright as sunhigh. Jaypaw walks over to the dark river and crouches down on its bank, folding his paws neatly underneath him. I sit down on the bank beside him. "It's really beautiful in here." I say quietly. "If you say so." Jaypaw replies drily. "I wouldn't know." I flinch, realizing that without meaning too, I had brought up his blindness. "I'm sorry, Jaypaw, I didn't mean-" "It's fine." I stole a glance at him. When we had rescued the kits, I had gotten a glimpse of the brave, sweet, thoughtful cat underneath the defensiveness. I wanted to get to know that cat better. But the defensive side of him isn't so bad, ether. Almost without realizing it, I inched closer to him, so that his silky pelt brushed mine. He tensed for a moment, but did not flinch away. Taking that as a good sign, I moved even closer to him, until I was leaning aganist his flank. Jaypaw gave me a long look. I looked into his eyes, and I could see my own feelings reflected there. "I love you, Jaypaw." "I love you, too. I shouldn't love you, but I do." "It will be all right." I murmur. "We can meet right here, in the tunnels. The only other cats who know about the tunnels think all the entrances are blocked with mud. No one will ever know." "StarClan will." Jaypaw's whiskers brushed her ears. "But what can they do to stop us?" He's right. StarClan does have power, but the living cats can still make their own choices. I purr, pressing myself aganist his side, as I feel Jaypaw gently rest his muzzle on my head. I lay there all night, listening to the soft sound of Jaypaw's purr.
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