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| - Benson: Guys, guys! I'd like to propose a toast. I know I'm the one being honored tomorrow with the gold watch for showing up to work 1,000 consecutive days in a row, but I want you to know: it's actually about you guys, (Claps) so thank you. Skips: Thanks, Benson. That means a lot. Thomas: How do you do it? How do you always get to work on time? Benson: That is a great question, Thomas. Did everybody hear that? (Gestures to his forehead) The guy knows how to think. I've gotten this far in life by doing one thing, and that's playing it safe. I set three alarm clocks every night, including (Points to his watch) this one. And then, I leave my toast and coffee out the night before so that it's ready for me when I wake up. Muscle Man: You eat stale toast? Benson: Yes. And I don't like it, not one bit. But I know that it'll all be worth it the moment that Mr. Maellard honors me with that gold watch. Hi Five Ghost: You must want that watch pretty bad, huh? Benson: Oh, you have no idea how long I've wanted that thing! But tonight, I can finally stand before you guys and say: "I did it!" Muscle Man: Hey, man, I don't mean to be a Debbie H. Downer here, but don't you think it's a little bit early to be celebrating? I mean, you still have to make it on time tomorrow. Benson: Oh, come on, Muscle Man. What could possibly go wrong between now and then? Mordecai: Hey, Benson. You're not gonna believe this—these guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too! Tango: 1,000 test missions. Benson: You guys are test pilots? Stache: We sure are. Tango: Hey, I'm Tango and this is Stache. Benson: Wait, you're not Stache? Tango: No, I'm Tango. (Gestures to the other man) He's Stache. Stache: Why don't you join us for some wings, and we'll celebrate our 1000s together? Benson: More wings? Benson likey, and I'm Benson! Skips: I'm not sure more wings is a good idea, Benson. You don't wanna eat yourself into a food coma again. Pops: Yes. Perhaps you've done enough winging for one night. Benson: Look, I can handle it, guys. It's just one round. Skips: It's just, uh... well, sometimes people do things they regret on a bellyful of wings. Pops: That's all we're saying. Benson: Don't worry, guys. I got it under control. Benson: Ow... my head. Benson (continued): What happened to me? Benson: (Voice-over) What could possibly go wrong between now and then? Mordecai: (Voice-over) Hey, Benson. You're not gonna believe this—these guys are celebrating 1,000 of something, too! Benson (continued): URRRRGH, MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!! Benson (continued): Where am I? Benson (continued): Augh! I only have three hours to get back. How am I ever... Benson (continued): Wait, a road. I'm saved! Benson (continued): Come on, come on, pick up. Pops: (On the phone) Hello? Benson: Pops, it's Benson. Pops: Oh, Benson; are you okay? Benson: I'm fine, Pops. Listen, could you put Mordecai and Rigby on so I can scream at them for ruining my life? Pops: They're not with you? Oh, dear, they didn't come home last night. We're all worried sick! Benson: What the heck happened last night? Pops: I'm afraid I don't know. Benson: (Sighs) Well, whatever it was left me stranded out in the desert. Could you come pick me up? Pops: Oh, of course. Where in the desert are you exactly? Benson: Uh, hold on, let me see. (He looks around the desert) Great. Benson (continued): Oh, a car. Benson (continued): Hey! Hey, stop! Benson (continued): Can you tell me what road this is? Sheriff: Sure. How about right after you tell me if this hurts or not? Pops: (On the phone) Benson? Hello? Benson: What on earth are you arresting me for? Mordecai: Benson, you're alright! Benson: You! Sheriff: (Puts Benson behind the prison bars) Ha! Knock yourselves out. Benson: What did you do to me?! Mordecai: (Choking) Do you not.... remember anything? Benson: No! Mordecai: Get off of me and I'll tell you! Mordecai (continued): Here's what happened. Mordecai (continued): The wings just kept coming. Guys: Whooooooo!!!! Stache: Both of our engines were on fire, but somehow we managed to crash-land right in the middle of a hot-tub party. Benson: I wish I was cool like you guys. Instead, I'm being honored tomorrow for 'playing it safe.' Rigby: Ouch. Stache: Yeah, that's rough. Tango: If you want to be honored tomorrow with some Grade-A-Guts, you should drive up to the ceremony in th Mach Infinity. Stache: Yeah, it's the supersonic car we just test-drove. Benson: Seriously? Mordecai: I didn't know that car actually existed! Rigby: Nothing can drive that fast. Stache: You'd be taking a big risk, but in a cool way. Rigby: I don't know, Benson. Mordecai: You might be risking more than just that gold watch. Benson: (Pounds on the table) It's worth it! Stache: Just make sure your lift-to-drag ratio stays level. You don't wanna go into a high-G maneuvor. Rigby: Whooooo! High-G maneuvor! Benson: Alright, here goes. (Sets car to Drive) Benson: Stop! Stop! Stop! Benson: That's crazy. Tango: Yeah. You landed about a mile away, but the car kept going and ended up on the road. Mordecai: Yeah, when we went to go find you, the cop arrested us for speeding. Stache: We even showed him our government clearance card which allows us to speed. But he just ripped it up. Rigby: He was like, "nyah, nyah".... Benson: I'll go try and talk to this guy. Benson (continued): Uh, hi sir? I kind of have to be somewhere by nine and... Sheriff: Well, we wouldn't want you to be late, now would we? Benson: No we wouldn't, sir. Sheriff: Well, son, the soonest I can open that door for you is, uh... 9:01 A.M. Mordecai: You didn't even look at anything! You just made that time up to be a jerk! Sheriff: (Points) You open your mouth again, pretty boy, and you're getting the hose! Pops: (Offscreen) That won't be necessary! All: Pops! Benson: How did you find us? Pops: Oh, it was quite simple. Pops (continued): While you we're being arrested, I happened to hear the distinct mating call of a chubby-necked chicken in the background. Pops (continued): I tried to use your computing device to look up its habitat on the internet. Pops (continued): But, I got scared. Pops (continued): So, I called Thomas over, and he found it without any trouble at all. Benson: Wow, Pops, that's amazing. Pops: Now, Officer, allow me to pay you whatever finds they re-crude, and we'll be on our merry way. Sheriff: Are you trying to bribe me, sir? Pops: Bribe? All: Pops! Mordecai: You can't arrest him for no reason! Rigby: Yeah, you think you're above the law?! Sheriff: On this quarter mile stretcher highway, I am the law! Sheriff (continued): Y'all sit tight while I find the bigger hose. Benson: (Sighs) Well, you ruined my life again. Rigby: What?! We have nothing to do with this! Benson: I woke up in a military jumpsuit, strapped to an ejector's seat. Of course you have something to do with this! Stache: Woah, Benson. Tango: Nobody put those wings inside you but you. Stache: Just because we party like handsome maniacs doesn't mean you didn't have a choice. Benson: (sighs) You're right. I decided to take risks and this is the price I pay. We've tried everything but this cop won't listen to reason. Tango: Maybe you can't reason your way out of this one. Stache: Maybe the solution is... Benson: ...another risk. Ok, I got an idea. Sheriff: What in tarnation happened here?! Pops: Oh, it was terrible! Pops (continued): They ganged up on me and beat me up before they escaped! Sheriff: Escaped?! (unlocks the cell) Nobody escapes from my- Pops: Now! Sheriff: What?! Mordecai: I can't believe that worked! Rigby: Yeah. I figured Pops' head would only hide two of three of us tops. Mordecai: How much time until the ceremony? Benson: Less than an hour. Pops: (pointing) We can take Carmenita. Benson: She's too slow! Stache: It's your only chance, Benson. Tango: How bad do you want that watch? Benson: More than anything. Tango: Perfect! Let's go! Rigby: See you at the ceremony! Sheriff: What?! Benson: Come on, come on.....yes! Sheriff: Get out of the car! Sheriff: It took me thirty years to grow this thing! Benson: What the-?! Sheriff: Where're you goin', boy?! Sheriff (continued): Noooooooo! Benson: Yes! I made it. Benson (continued): Hey, how did you guys get here before me? Pops: It's a miracle! Benson: Well, I don't know about miracle, but... Mordecai: Dude, where have you been for the last 3 months? Benson: What? Tango: What probably happened is that you went so fast, that you actually travelled three months into the future. Rigby: We all thought you were dead, man! Benson: Then if this isn't my gold watch ceremony, it's my... Skips: Memorial serivce. Benson: And who are all of these guys? Skips: They're applicants for the park manger position. They're waiting until after the service to be interviewed. Benson: Mr. Maellard, about the gold watch... Mr. Maellard: Uh, I'm gonna have to say no. I've always been a stickler for the rules. Rigby: Hey, man. At least you're not dead. Benson: No! Benson (continued): Without that watch, I am dead. Tango and Stache: Benson, stop! Stache: The Infinity's reverse gear could tear a hole in space time! Benson: I have to take that chance! Stache: Now, there goes a man who takes risks. Benson: Come on! Benson (continued): (whispering) I...I never knew. Benson (continued): It's..... working! Muscle Man: Told you he'd make it. Mr. Maellard: 9:00 A.M. on the dot! You did it, my boy. Benson: (sighs) It's beautiful. Muscle Man: I brought us some wings to help us celebrate. Benson: (chuckles) Sorry, Muscle Man, not this time. Mr. Maellard: Come on, it's only one wing. Benson: Well.... Benson (continued): Oh, my head. Where... Benson (continued): Ah, come on!
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