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| - Jeremy Kyle (born 7 July 1965) is an English radio and television presenter. He is best known for The Jeremy Kyle Show, his daytime television show on ITV in which he "helps" the British public with personal issues. Kyle was also the host of the show's American counterpart.
- Jeremy Kyle (born 7 July 1965) is a British radio and television broadcaster, best known as a pretentious dingbat, infamous envelope magnet and host of "The Jeremy Kyle Show". He is the self-appointed 'people's hero' for an entire generation of generic, pale, blank-faced inbred youths who swagger around wearing clothing from Primark and donning glistening gold jewellery which could rival Mr T in terms of weight, only cheaper and nastier. They occasionally appear with their mothers on the show, who have three rows of teeth, sagging tits and smell of piss.
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| abstract
| - Jeremy Kyle (born 7 July 1965) is an English radio and television presenter. He is best known for The Jeremy Kyle Show, his daytime television show on ITV in which he "helps" the British public with personal issues. Kyle was also the host of the show's American counterpart.
- Jeremy Kyle (born 7 July 1965) is a British radio and television broadcaster, best known as a pretentious dingbat, infamous envelope magnet and host of "The Jeremy Kyle Show". He is the self-appointed 'people's hero' for an entire generation of generic, pale, blank-faced inbred youths who swagger around wearing clothing from Primark and donning glistening gold jewellery which could rival Mr T in terms of weight, only cheaper and nastier. They occasionally appear with their mothers on the show, who have three rows of teeth, sagging tits and smell of piss. The brain-dead lowlifes who sit and watch the atrocious programme he presents applaud him for his brilliance and sheer masterly conduct, for it is clear - despite Kyle being in no way qualified to resolve any human issue whatsoever - that he does something right. Indeed, were the great Kyle ever to act contrary to his utterly modest temperament and run for Prime Minister, they would at once cling to him, hearkening to his every word and following him like rats would follow a merry, musical, flute-playing rat of an even larger and fiercer proportion and temperament. The secret of Dr. Kyle's success is his avid knowledge a new wave of psychological research by the likes of B. A. Stard et al (2009) which shows that the best way to resolve social problems is to expose people's entire lives to a television audience for the purposes of entertainment, and then to have a sneering, pompous, hypocritical tosser query their every thought, movement, gesture and value in a general environment which would make a MacCarthyist witch hunt look like a 2-year-old girl's sleepover. When accompanied with the ever-truthful lie detector test (so truthful that courts don't even use it in criminal cases!), as well as a plentiful range of jeers, laughs, and general banter from both the surrounding crowd and the accompanying "contestants" that the untrained psychologist would hazard could only exacerbate any problems, Mrs Jones and her three husbands, six daughters and twelve aunties (some of whom are the same people) are of course guaranteed to make it up after the show, merrily waltzing into a gleeful future together - and all thanks to the efforts of good old Jezza! Now, the narrow-minded amongst you probably think this theory ridiculous, but Jezza has naturally answered every query, concern and critique even before it has been conceived by us mere mortals. Why does it have to be HIM on this show, as opposed to someone who's actually trained to solve these issues? Why, if he's such a motivated, selfless being, does he not devote his life to quiet social work, counselling or care, like the thousands of other trained people who do so every day, away from the cameras, for a fraction of the money he gets? Why is it appropriate to SHOUT at people and call them scum - how can that possibly help resolve an issue? And surely, if a relationship has reached the stage where one partner is accusing the other of having steaming sex with her next door neighbour's dog's teddy bear and it's BLUMMIN GRANDMA, it's time to call it over, rather than deduce who's right and wrong in a public theatre and then spit in the face of the person who's wrong? Isn't that clearly more appropriate and productive?
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