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| - Narrator: It’s just another quiet day at the Botsford home. Becky and Bob are having their daily tea party when... Mrs. Botsford: Turn on the TV! Turn on the TV! My show’s coming on! Seymour: I’m your handsome and charming host-- Seymour Orlando Smooth. And it’s time to play, Who Wants to Win a Shiny New Car? Seymour: Are you ready? Mrs. Botsford: I’m READY!! Becky: But Mom, you’re not even playing. Mrs. Botsford: I know, dear, but when I watch this show, I dream that it’s me up there onstage, winning that shiny new car! Seymour: Before we start our game, let’s meet our contestants. First our challengers, Russell and Susan Bohannon. Russell: We’re very happy to be here! Susan: (in a deadpan voice) Yes. We’re elated. Seymour: Great. Now tell us a little bit about yourselves. Russell: Well, I work as a-- Seymour: Outstanding! That’s terrific. Now, let’s meet our returning champions. They’ve won an amazing eighty-six games in a row. They’ve never missed a single question. They’re the smartest contestants we’ve ever had! Please welcome Harry Kempel and Chip Von Dumor! Harry: It’s good to be here. Chip: Yeah. Great. Seymour: Now tell us, how do you know so much about everything? Harry: We’re, like, real smart? Chip: Yeah. Real smart. Becky: They don’t seem very smart. Seymour: Here’s how the game works. I’m going to ask our challengers a question. If they get it wrong, our champions will get a chance to answer that same question correctly and win that shiny new car! Mrs. Botsford: Shiny new car! Seymour: Now, I promise I have not told any of the contestants the answer to the question. Isn’t that right, Harry and Chip? Harry: That’s right. You did not tell us the answer? Seymour: Right. Because if I did that, I’d be breaking the rules, and we all know this show is completely legitimate. That means it follows the rules and gives each contestant a fair chance at winning. Chip: Yeah. This show is... legiga--like--ledigami--uh-- Seymour: Okay, that’s great, fellas. Now it’s time for me to ask tonight’s question to our challengers. Tell me, there’s a famous statue of a lady in New York-- Russell: It’s the Statue of Liberty! Ha ha ha ha ha! Susan: He’s right. We win. Seymour: No! You don’t because that’s not the question. The question is, how tall is the Statue of Liberty in feet? Becky: Who would know that?! Russell: Sorry. We don’t know. Susan: No. Seymour: Ooh! That’s too bad. Then we’ll have to ask our champions. Seymour: If they can tell me the answer, they’ll win that shiny new car. Harry: (looking down at his hand) The Statue of Liberty is 152 feet tall. Chip: And it’s a statue. Seymour: Correct! The champions have won again! Becky: How could they possibly have known that? Mrs. Botsford: Because they’re super smart. Becky: I don’t know, Mom. I’m getting the feeling that this game isn’t really legitimate. I think someone could be breaking the rules! Seymour: Heh-heh-heh, good work boys,. We fooled everybody again. Harry: I love winning new cars! Seymour: I’m also elated. My plan is working perfectly. I give you the answers before the show, you keep winning the game, and we get to keep these shiny new cars for ourselves! Harry: But aren’t we cheating? Seymour: Of course we’re cheating. If we played by the rules and ran a legitimate game show, you two numbskulls would never win. Harry: I guess you’re right. Chip: Yeah. You’re right. We’re so lucky to have a smart brother like you. Seymour: Yes. Yes, you are. Harry: But Seymour, what happens if someone else gets the question right? Seymour: Ha ha! Are you kidding? That’ll never happen. The questions I ask are way too hard. Anyone who comes on this show has absolutely no chance of winning. Mrs. Botsford: Wow! Waah! Ooh! Hoo hoo hoo! (laughs hysterically) I just got a letter from the TV station. I’m going to be a contestant on that show, “Who Wants a Shiny New Car?” WAAH! Mr. Botsford: WHOA! Hold the phone! That means you might have a chance to win a shiny new car! Mrs. Botsford: I know! I’m so elated! Becky: Mom, I know you’re very happy, but-- Mrs. Botsford: What’s wrong, Becky? Don’t you want me to win a shiny new car? Becky: Of course I do, Mom. But I really think the show isn’t legitimate. You won’t be getting a fair chance. You might lose. Mrs. Botsford: Oh, Becky, if I lost, I’d be so... (whimpering) ...sad and miserable. Becky: Yes, Bob. Miserable is the opposite of elated. Mrs. Botsford: Don’t worry, because I think we can win. Your father’s really smart, and I’m going to bring him on the show with me! Mr. Botsford: I’m going to be on TV? Ha ha ha! Becky: Dad! Mr. Botsford: What just happened? Becky: You just fainted after we told you you were going to be on TV. Mr. Botsford: I’m going to be on TV? Ha ha ha! Becky: Mom, maybe you should bring me on the show. Mrs. Botsford: Oh, you got that right, Becky. Your father can’t take the pressure of show business. Mr. Botsford: Can’t take what? Mrs. Botsford: I’ll tell you in a minute, dear, when you’re lying down. Mr. Botsford: Okay! (He faints again.) Mrs. Botsford: Becky, you come on the show with me, okay? Becky: You got it, Mom. (To herself) I’m going to beat Seymour at his own game. Narrator: The next day at the TV studio... Seymour: Alright, fellas, the show is about to start. So now, I’m going to tell you tonight’s answer. The Eiffel Tower is 985 feet tall. That’s the answer. Got it? Harry: Got it. Seymour: Good. Now, come on. It’s time to start the show. Seymour: Is everybody ready to play “Who Wants to Win a Shiny New Car”? Let’s meet today’s challengers-- Mrs. Botsford and her daughter Becky! Mrs. Botsford: Seymour, can I say how elated I am to be here? Seymour: You just did. Seymour: Heh-heh. Alright, Becky, are you ready to play the game? Becky: Oh, I’m ready, all right. Seymour: Great. Now, I’m going to ask you a perfectly legitimate question. If you don’t get it right, our returning champions will have a chance to answer it. Here is your question. There’s a tower in Paris-- Mrs. Botsford: It’s the Eiffel tower! Do I win? Seymour: You do IF you can tell me how tall the Eiffel tower is in feet. Mrs. Botsford: Oh! My, aah... Ahh... Seymour: I don’t think that’s an answer. You have one minute to give me an answer. Becky: Mom, I think I can figure it out if I could just step outside and get some fresh air. Mrs. Botsford: Oh, okay. But be quick! Seymour: Wait! You’re not going to look up the answer in a book, are you? Becky: No. Seymour: Then, sure. I’ll give you one minute. But I don’t see what good it’s going to do you. Becky: Yeah. You’re probably right. Becky: Bob, if we want to find out how tall the Eiffel tower is, there’s only one place we should go. Word UP! WordGirl: Here we are in Paris! And here’s the Eiffel tower. WordGirl: Excuse me, sir, but do you know anything about the Eiffel tower? Man: I’m so elated that you would ask! The Eiffel tower was built in 1889 to mark the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution and to open the famous World’s Fair. WordGirl: That’s really interesting, but I-- Man: It was named after its designer, Gustave Eiffel. WordGirl: I’m sorry, but I don’t have much time. Can you just tell me how tall the Eiffel tower is in feet? Man: The Eiffel tower is 985 feet tall. WordGirl: Oh, thank you so much! Merci. Heh heh. Come on, Huggy! Seymour: (to Sally) It’s almost been a minute. If Becky isn’t back in time, I’m afraid you’ll lose-- Becky: I’m back! And I think I know the answer. Seymour: (chuckling) Okay, take a wild guess. Becky: 985 feet. Seymour: 900-- Oh! That’s the correct answer. Mrs. Botsford: Oh, I won! I won! I won! I won! (She screams excitedly.) Seymour: Um, not just yet. Remember, this is a legitimate game. That means our champions must be given a legitimate chance to win. Therefore, I will now ask them a new question. If they get it wrong, the Botsfords will win the-- Seymour: Yes, yes. The shiny new car. Ugh. Alright. Harry and Chip, here is your question. What-- is one plus one? Chip: Uh... Seymour: Ugh! How can you TWO nincompoops not know this?! Harry: Because you didn’t tell us the answer before the show! Chip: Yeah. You’re our brother. You’re supposed to make sure we win! Becky: Seymour, I KNEW you were cheating! Seymour: No I wasn’t. Becky: If you were giving them the answers before the show, that’s cheating. And cheating on a gameshow is against the law! You all belong in jail! Seymour: Mmmmmmm-maybe, but ZING! Becky: Ahh! Smile’s... too... bright! I can’t see! Mrs. Botsford: My eyes! Becky: Have to talk... like... this! Mrs. Botsford: I’m... talking that way too because... the-- Becky: You know what? It helps if you keep them short, Mom. Mrs. Botsford: Oh, oh okay. My eyes! Becky: Nice! Harry: Seymour, tell us how we will-- also get away. Seymour: I’m glad you asked. We’ll be escaping in style in this all-new Luxurion turbo sedan with fine Corinthian leather and AM/FM radio. Now, hop in. Let’s go! Becky: I know, Bob. They’re getting away. We’ve got to stop them. Word UP! Mrs. Botsford: Becky? Is it safe to look yet? Becky? Seymour: Ha ha! We’re getting away! Harry: In this really fun car! It’s got everything we wanted. Chip: Yeah. And look at this! It even flies. Seymour: Right. It-- wait a minute. Cars don’t fly! WordGirl: This one does! Seymour: WordGirl. Well, I’m certainly not elated to see you here. WordGirl: You shouldn’t be. WordGirl: Narrator, tell them what they’ve won. Narrator: You’ve got it, WordGirl. For breaking the rules, you three cheaters have won a long vacation right here in not-so-luxurious county jail! Seymour: (sarcastically) Great. Narrator: That’s right, jail, where you’ll spend your days and nights making license plates, eating disgusting food, and sleeping on some of the most uncomfortable beds in the world! Congratulations! Seymour and the brothers: (together) Thank you. Chip: Yeah. WordGirl: (to the warden) Our work here is done. Now, let’s go. Word UP! Narrator: And so once again, WordGirl and her brave sidekick, Captain Huggy Face, save the day. Narrator: Now, be sure to tune in next time and you’ll be elated by another legitimately thrilling adventure of WordGirl!
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