| Content
| - You lose # hours of travel.
*"Did you know that more sand we put in the ship, the faster it will go? Get to work, everybody!"
Text na
:=> Your crew spends some time arguing over who gets to strangle Diedrich instead of piloting the ship.
- You lose ## loot.
Speed & Time
*"Hey! "Did you know you can work faster if you whistle? It's true."
"Well, bye now. See you later!"
:=> Your pace increases thanks to Diedrich's invaluable knowledge.
- Your ship's speed increases slightly. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
*Edmund spies a ship captained by Louie and decides to prank him.
Edmund quickly brews up a laxative-laced batch of blood to sneak into Louie's food. :=> The cries of bathroom agony fill the air later in the day. The successful prank builds team spirit.
- Howl. => You give them some food and money. That pretty much solves all of their real problems.
- You lose # hours of travel.
*Carl spends a lot of the day menacing your crew, preventing any work from getting done.
:=> You lose # hours of travel.
Ammo & Creature
*After a long night in the crow's nest, you mistake Carl for a useful member of your crew and ask him to watch the deck for a minute.
Carl does not like being mistaken for others.
:=> Carl throws a box of ammo overboard.
- Go in for a closer look. => It turns out to be a real class act and points you in the direction of a shortcut.
*Your hand grows a mouth and starts talking to you. It is very itchy and smells bad.
- Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
*A pale, terrified man flags you down. You can't understand a word he says, and he dies convulsing in your arms.
- You lose # hours of travel.
See what happens.
: => The vine yields beautiful, sweet-smelling flowers with bullets inside.
- Grab the eggs. => Sure, you got some food, but at what cost?
*You develop a case of cerebral termites.
- Dave loses faith in strangers . => You kick Burroughs to the curb.
*A storm blows up and you take refuge at a cottage warm. There you meet a doting couple. The gentleman introduces his eerily limp wife as Porphyria and himself as her Lover.
- Stop them! => You chase them off and spend the morning bandaging the tree.
- You gain ## loot.
*"This thing was floating in the water."
"I think I can get it running again with a little elbow grease."
:=> After some tinkering, Sam reclaims a valuable artifact.
- Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
No, you don't have time for fooling around.
:=> You continue on the trail.
----
*You see signs advertising a party on the ground below. Would you like to join?
PAARRTYY!!
:=> It's a study party. Your crew is totally bummed, but by boning up on algebra they figure out how to fly the ship better.
- You gain ## ammo.
*"Hey, have you ever seen one of these?"
"It's called a geoduck and it's great to eat."
:=> Crewmate misinterprets the situation and shoots the geoduck out of her hand.
- You lose # hours of travel.
No.
:=> He wanders off into the woods. Years later you meet again at a bagel shop and awkwardly make small talk.
----
*A man introduces himself to you as Doctor Slaptastic and asks if you would like to be healed.
Yes.
:=> He slaps Crewmate across the face, healing diseases you didn't even know about.
- You gain ## ammo.
You resist him as much as possible.
:=> You offend his curious sense of propriety by refusing to floss with a live parrot. His thugs rough you up and deliver you unconscious back to your ship.
- Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
*Carl's antlers get tangled up in the ship's sails and rigging.
He can't help it, he's an elk on an airship!
:=> You try to untangle him without getting gored, but it's slow going.
- You lose # hours of travel.
Keep going.
:=> Let the GREAT ADVENTURE CONTINUE!
----
*Your crew comes across the opening to a large, menacing cave.
Explore the cave.
:=> You explore the twisting passages of the cave, eventually discovering some old crates of dynamite and jerky. You wisely yoink the jerky.
- Your crew's health decreases significantly.
*"In retrospect, it was probably foolish of me to challenge you all to an arm wrestling match."
"Maybe next time we'll just play Old Maid."
:=> Louie incapacitates the crew.
- Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
Food & Loot
*Feeling pensive, Sam stares out to sea and throws bread to the sea gulls.
Everybody hurts, sometimes.
:=> Sam throws a bunch of bread to the birds, but it does cheer her up.
- You lose # hours of travel
*"Whoah. This is the best go-kart terrain I've ever seen."
Text na
:=> Sam goes for a long joyride.
- Pretend like it didn't bother you. => In your despair, you pillage your food supply.
*You are a strict observer of "the feast of two dinners," a ceremony in which everyone must eat two dinners or risk offending the god of buffets.
- Take it away from Crewmate. => You wrestle Crewmate for control of the conch shell, and the dramatic struggle with the conch getting ripped in half. As luck would have it, it was full of treasure.
*Crewmate invents a game where you roll a hoop around the ship with just a stick.
- Crewmate's health decreases slightly.
*"Let us fly closer to that volcano. I yearn to peer into the fiery eye of the world itself!"
That might not be the "eye" of the world, if you know what I mean.
:=> Everyone gets sick from exposure to volcanic ash. Great idea, Louie.
- Inspect your catch. => Turns out it's a rather expensive fish-shaped device for measuring soil acidity.
*Inside every cloud is a silver lining.
- Crewmate dies.
----
*The Cruiser flies over a ziggurat, at the top of which is a bloody sacrificial altar.
Sacrifice Crewmate to whatever Elder God the altar enshrines.
:=> The moment you plunge a dagger through Crewmate's heart, you feel Zithillius the Damned smile upon you from the cosmos. The crew is sad at first, but likes their new toys.
- You lose # hours of travel.
----
*Crewmate hears something scraping against the window.
Crewmate always was a scaredy-cat; it was probably just a tree branch.
:=> You sail on undeterred.
Hide under Crewmate's bed to see if it happens again.
:=> It doesn't happen again.
Stop the ship and comb every corner until you find what the sound was.
:=> Your luck increases significantly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey.
----
*Crewmate hears a howl in the distance.
Crewmate always was a scaredy-cat; it was probably just the wind.
:=> Text na
Better gain some altitude- don't want to get caught by werewolves.
:=> Your ship's speed increases slightly.
Fear is a great motivator- descend below the treeline.
:=> Text na
Misc Encounter - The text here was seen on the forum, however the scenario was not available.
*For not desecrating the dead you get a luck bonus
*For not desecrating the dead, Teleri smiles upon your journey.
- You lose ## loot.
Shake the machine.
:=> After some vigorous shaking, the vending machine tips over and lands on Crewmate.
- You lose ## ammo.
*Carl spies a female bounding gracefully across the forest floor.
She disappears into the brush.
:=> He lets out a dark, erotic bellow.
Misc
*The salt air turns Carl's fur into a tough, sticky mat.
It smells.
:=> Carl licks himself profusely.
*Carl panics when your ship becomes cloaked in thick fog.
He gallops in circles around the deck until he wears himself out.
:=> Carl takes a nap.
*Carl's eyes have started to glow more brightly.
You stay away from Carl.
:=> Good choice.
*Waking suddenly from a nap, Carl is disoriented by the elevation.
Carl does not like being disoriented.
:=> Crewmate strokes his neck to sooth him. Carl bites Nick, then remembers what's going on and calms down.
Misc
*Guide finds a vial labeled "Ce.Ch.be - Embryonic"
Crewmate wants to drink it. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
:=> Crewmate rapidly devolves into a dinosaur, and then gets better later.
- You lose ## hours of travel.
Ammo & Creature
*"I finally figured out what that annoying rattling noise was."
"You'll never guess!"
:=> "Bullets in the ceiling! Crazy, huh?"
- Have Crewmate deal with it. => Sand doesn't damage them, but Crewmate thinks it does and throws them out.
*The shadow man visits you in the dead of night. You tell yourself it's not real, but you know better.
- Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
*"You should probably attend to the engine room. There's oil spraying everywhere."
"It's quite disgusting, really."
:=> You manage to temporarily fix the oil leak, but your ship speed decreases.
- You gain ## loot.
:=> This was actually just the set up for a really boring religious lecture. You assure her you've already found your own dog.
- That sounds like it will be interesting. => Dave's new lifestyle pays off. Those clothes turned out to be slowing you down.
*Crewmate tries out a new hairstyle.
- Shrug your shoulders. => By morning they have reassembled it several miles up the trail. You awake in new surroundings pleasantly confused.
*In a fit of hubris, you imagine yourself the equal of the gods themselves.
- Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
*"Put a couple drops of this in the punch bowl for a good time." "What? No, it's a vitamin supplement to avoid scurvy."
:=>Your crew's health improves slightly.
*Edmund performs surprise dental surgery on Crewmate, forcibly implanting a set of crystal chompers.
They look sharp, pun intended.
:=> As a test, Crewmate consumes a fistful of minerals.
- And you have three weddings to go to. => You no longer recognize yourself. Perhaps your name is Crewmate? You eat some cheese to feel better.
*You see the best minds of your generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.
- Crewmate's health increases significantly.
----
*A pterodactyl nests on top of your mast. Do you try to remove it?
Yes.
:=> The pterodactyl tears your sail in anger. The Kestrel is okay, but it takes a while to repair the sail.
- Say "whoa." => You say "whoa" and notice that Crewmate broke two toes.
- Start pickin'! => You fill your pockets with precious loot seeds and feel pretty special.
*Crewmate find's a really great lookin' conch shell.
- Your crew's health improves significantly.
----
*A ghost appears to you in the night and offers to show you how you die. Do you accept its offer?
Yes, you can face your fate.
:=> The ghost realizes you don't have a DVD player and leaves angry and disappointed.
:=> The ghost whisks you through the astral plane to an alternate universe in dimension n-x where you see your end. In that dimension everyone's a dinosaur, though, so you're not sure it applies, but you use the astral plane to save yourself some travel time.
- You gain ## loot.
Nothing.
:=> Your journey and guilt continue apace.
----
*Crewmate picks some low-hanging fruit off of the trees.
Eat the fruit.
:=> Text na
Throw the fruit at the seagull passing overhead.
:=> Luck decreases slightly.
:=> It becomes momentarily dazed and you gain ## lbs of food. original text na
Jar and preserve the fruit to eat later as jam.
:=> You mush all of the pears into a big bowl, which promptly rolls off the counter and onto the floor when you hit an air pocket.
----
*Crewmate sees a falling star, and wants to make a wish.
We could use more ammo.
:=> Crewmate's wishes go unanswered.
More loot, more riches, more prizes!
:=> Text na
Dying of starvation is a low priority right now, we could use some food.
:=> Text na
----
*You find a rope descending from the heavens with a note attached reading, "do not pull!"
Obviously, this rope needs to be pulled!
:=> A cow falls from the sky. At terminal velocity it punches a huge hole in your ship that costs time repairing.
- Dive into the frozen fish sticks you packed earlier- they're almost the same thing... => The Crewmate eats the entire bag without even defrosting them, quickly followed by tuna-flavored projectile vomiting.
*You all stop to get matching anchor tattoos, but Crewmate mishears and gets a unicorn.
- Gain loot
*Digging a makeshift latrine you discover a bandit's stash.
*You ate breakfast, did some piloting, checked the maps and had a really nice lunch... and then you found a bunch of loot!
*You encounter the ruins of an ancient desert temple.
*A mad castaway raves about the whiteness of the whale.
- You gain ## loot.
----
*While scouting ahead, Guide finds an abandoned, rusty mecha suit.
Climb inside and check it out.
:=> The suit seems to be non-functional, but there is a usable box of shells under the pilot's seat, apparently for use in emergencies.
- Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
Food & Loot
*"If you think you can't synthesize food out of thin air, your education must have been lacking."
"As for myself, I know all the tricks."
:=> Edmund throws a sparkling dust into the air and some food lands on the ground.
- A dark cloud seems to form over your ship. => You feel there will be great suffering on your journey.
*You come across a beautiful still life arrangement featuring a vase, several pieces of fruit, and a glass pitcher.
- You're looking forward to dinner. => Crewmate made a very interesting bowl suited for holding pasta out of a bunch of bullets welded together, but no dinner.
*Sand gets in the bullets.
- You lose ## ammo.
*A hungry Carl accidentally mistakes your ammo supply for food.
Just be glad he didn't mistake anyone for a potential mate.
:=> Carl somehow ate some ammo. It also gave him gas.
- You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
The note sounds authoritative. You don't pull the rope.
:=> You continue on the trail.
----
*Crewmate gets kicked in the head by a horse, severely damaging their brain area.
Where the hell did a horse come from?
:=> Oh, you're right, there are no horses on your airship. Nevermind.
That sucks.
:=> Yeah, it does!
- Your crew's health decreases significantly.
*Something pricks Crewmate's foot when putting on their shoes. Inside you find a thorn poisoned with salamander's blood, a favorite trap of vampires.
- You save # hours of travel.
:=> The ogre rips Crewmate's arm off and throws it to a pack of feral cats.
- Proceed cautiously. => You go slower while fighting the billowing heat.
*A little bird flies in the window and wants to tell you a secret.
- You gain ## loot.
*Sam shows your crew how to dive for oysters.
Everyone jumps in the water.
:=> The oysters prove inedible, but you find some pearls.
- Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
*"We vampires have a preternatural understanding of the stars above. Navigation thus comes easy to us."
"So does knitting, but that's another story."
:=> Louie grabs the steering wheel and makes a few minor course corrections.
- Investigate. => On closer inspection it turns out they're just leeches. You brush them off and add them to the larder.
Lose; addition to
*You catch a mother bear fattening herself for winter in your pantry. She is very apologetic when confronted, but that doesn't bring the food back, now does it.
*You're eating for two because you have a tapeworm.
*You're eating for three because you somehow have two tapeworms.
*A pack of rats moves into your ship's hold.
- Inside you find an incomplete crossword puzzle. => The Crewmate notices a mistake which, once corrected, makes it easily solvable. Your triumphant crew returns to work exuberant.
*Crewmate develops a sudden and surprising interest in nudism.
- You gain ## loot.
Speed & Time
*"The bark of this tree can be chewed as a mild stimulant."
"Don't worry, it's not toxic, addictive or illegal."
:=> You're initially wary of this substance, but Edmund has allayed your fears.
- You lose # hours of travel.
Rifle through his pockets.
:=> Don't touch dead things!
- You lose ## ammo.
*Carl reveals a hidden talent: the ability to eat bullets.
Carl puts on a talent show for you.
:=> Crewmate offers to sift through his leavings and retrieve the bullets, but you wisely intervene.
- Your crew's health improves significantly.
*Sam spends all day working in the engine room, breathing in toxic, mind-bending fumes.
Text na
:=> You realize something's wrong when she tries to repair Crewmate with a hammer and pliers.
- Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
----
*A handsome boy minstrel wanders into camp. Would you like him to sing for you?
Yes.
:=> He has the voice of an angel and you sign him to your record label. He becomes the next teen sensation and you lose time escaping the hordes of shrieking fans in pursuit.
- You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
- Proceed cautiously. => You waste time finding your way back to the trail.
*The clouds part to reveal a full moon, triggering a dark and hideous lycanthropic transformation in Crewmate.
- Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
----
*A roadside billboard advertises the services of a local witch doctor. Do you visit her?
Yes.
:=> The witch doctor rubs you down with a dirty sponge soaked in celery grease. You feel much better.
No.
:=> You keep going.
- Organize the loot. => You carefully stack and arrange the crates with expert precision... and discover some loot you didn't even know you had in the process!
*You reel in a very small, very heavy fish.
- You lose # hours of travel.
----
Pygmi
*A band of pygmies, amazed by everything about you, asks if you'd like to be their ruler. Do you accept?
Yes, power is fun.
:=> A scandal erupts when you can't produce a pygmy birth certificate. You beat a hasty retreat in which Crewmate suffers partial paralysis by blowgun darts.
- You lose ## ammo.
*Your alarm goes off, softy murmuring "open your eyes, open your eyes," over and over.
- Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
*"Did you know that the closer you are to hot lava, the slower time goes? We could probably take it real, real easy for an afternoon and just relax and get some reading done."
"Oh, and goodbye forever! Bye!"
:=> Diedrich's hypothesis proves incorrect. Lose hours you could have spent on dalliance and skylarking.
- Run! => You spend a night you could have used getting closer to the Jellyfish running in terror instead.
*You pick up a hitchhiker. He turns out to be romantic poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who has been transported to Gaia in a hallucinatory opium stupor. He leads you to Xanadau, where Kubla Khan has constructed a stately pleasure-dome; inside, an Abyssinian maid produces a dulcimer and plays a song of such ecstatic beauty that your crew is consumed with passion and vows to never leave.
- Keep dreaming. => The daydream comes to a violent end when the ship crashes into a volcano. Lose time making repairs.
*Your ship gets caught in a very large tree filled with obnoxious screaming howler monkeys.
- You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
----
*Crewmate finds an oil lamp half-buried in a sand dune.
Light it.
:=> It makes for a fine light, but isn't particularly useful otherwise.
Rub it.
:=> Text na
Throw it back.
:=> Text na
----
*A pelican lands on the deck and waddles towards Crewmate.
Shoo it away.
:=> Text na
Shoot it.
:=> It takes many bullets to take the big bird down, and once you do finally manage, fifty more of the long-billed waterfowl dive in for vengeance. Crewmate loses a pinky.
- Crewmate's health increases significantly.
*"Scorpions! Everywhere! AAAAHHH!"
Edmund goes on a scorpion-squashing rampage.
:=> Amidst the carnage you find a shred of Louie's coat caught on a nail; apparently this was a prank to him. Crewmate slips on bug guts and falls.
- Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
*A giant squid attaches itself to the bottom of your ship, threatening to drag down to your doom.
Edmund hacks the squid apart.
:=> The remnants of tentacles that remain suckered to your hull slow you down.
- Text na => It instantly turns to dust in your hands. You feel as though you have done something terrible. Your luck has changed for the worse.
- Was it all a dream? => No, you are still on your airship going to save a jellyfish demigod from vampires.
*After dashing into the trees moments before, Carl drags back four dead vampires by their capes.
Thank Carl for saving you from the assassin vampires.
:=> Carl guffaws in acknowledgment. He almost seems happy. Almost.
Sort through the vampires' stuff.
:=> Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
Hide in the ship interior, in case there were more vampires Carl didn't notice.
:=> Carl advances dangerously towards you, displeased at the suggestion that he might have missed a vampire.
----
Misc Creatures
*An ice cream monster attacks!
- Save hours
*Thanks to some deft navigation, you're able avoid a number of tricky obstacles.
*Crewmate captures a rare specimen of butterfly in a jar.
- Increases slightly
*A mean tail wind kicks up behind you. You make a joke about "tail wind" and everyone laughs.
*A corked bottle floats alongside your ship.
- Your ship's speed decreases slightly. It will take you more time to cover the same distance.
Bust out the costume chest and puppet stage.
:=> The talent show takes a long time, but you learn a lot about each others' strengths and anxieties.
- You save # hours of travel.
*Sam works on the rigging while Crewmate mops the deck below.
You notice this classic set-up for painful physical comedy too late to stop it.
:=> Sam drops her wrench on Crewmate's head, causing massive brain damage. Lose time teaching Crewmate to love again.
- You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
*"Did you know that seaweed is nature's grapes? Let's all grab a bunch of seaweed and eat it, because it is nature's grapes."
"OK, bye!"
:=> Your crew harvests several pounds of smelly, slimy food.
- Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
*While you are sleeping, Edmund somehow captures a huge sack of grunnies and ties them to your ship.
This should be fun.
:=> The grunnies drag you at a break-neck speed through the forest before gnawing their way to freedom.
- Go get Crewmate. => You waste valuable hours going back to get them.
*Magnetic rocks buried in the mountains wreak havoc with your navigation system.
- You lose # hours of travel.
:=> You decline and instead challenge the ogre to a knitting contest. You win by a landslide.
:=> You decline the arm wrestling and instead challenge the ogre to a knitting contest. You win by a landslide.
- Honestly, you have mixed feelings about it. => It turns out to be amazingly aerodynamic.
*The long journey is starting to take its toll.
- You lose # hours of travel.
*"Did you know I forgot to set our alarm clocks and we all slept in for over twenty-four hours? This is a bad problem."
"Anyway, bye bye."
:=> Diedrich's mistake has gotten you rather lost.
- Kill 'em. => You douse them with urine, killing them, but they've already some loot.
*You encounter an annoying illusionist who makes your ship disappear.
- You gain ## loot.
----
*A massive windstorm starts to form just off your starboard bow.
Steer toward it.
:=> Text na
Steer away from it.
:=> You give the storm a wide berth, but it takes longer than expected to get around it.
- You gain ## loot.
*With her gift for solving mechanical problems, Sam realizes the perfect way to reinforce a mother bird's nest she spies from your ship.
She climbs down and weaves some of your loot into a structural weakness.
:=> You briefly consider replacing the loot with something not quite so shiny and worth more than the airship costs, but decide you like living.
- Crewmate's health decreases significantly.
----
*A wealthy eccentric sends an envoy inviting you to dinner. He makes it clear that your attendance is mandatory.
You decide to humor him but no more.
:=> You have a delicious meal, though the conversation is bizarre. As you are leaving, he asks whether you had ever eaten human flesh before. You feel nauseous but hold it down.
- You spend some time teaching the monkeys how to communicate at a more reasonable volume.
- You gain ## lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
:=> Too late to stop, you realize the candy is covered in bugs. They contribute the only nutritional part of this meal. The stranger laughs at his ruse.
- Crewmate dies.
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