About: Tiger Gun   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Thousands of years ago, before the invention of weapons and video games (oh, the horror), cavemen would hurl any nearby object at their prey. Tigers are one example of such an object. It was very effective, for it had claws which humans did not have. However, after killing the human's prey, it almost always would eat it, and then turn to the human and eat him, too. Thus, rocks were used instead for thousands of years, for they needed not eat, and thus would not steal the human's kill. That is, until rocks eventually evolved into Lava Monsters, at which point they were exiled into volcanoes.

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rdfs:label
  • Tiger Gun
rdfs:comment
  • Thousands of years ago, before the invention of weapons and video games (oh, the horror), cavemen would hurl any nearby object at their prey. Tigers are one example of such an object. It was very effective, for it had claws which humans did not have. However, after killing the human's prey, it almost always would eat it, and then turn to the human and eat him, too. Thus, rocks were used instead for thousands of years, for they needed not eat, and thus would not steal the human's kill. That is, until rocks eventually evolved into Lava Monsters, at which point they were exiled into volcanoes.
dcterms:subject
abstract
  • Thousands of years ago, before the invention of weapons and video games (oh, the horror), cavemen would hurl any nearby object at their prey. Tigers are one example of such an object. It was very effective, for it had claws which humans did not have. However, after killing the human's prey, it almost always would eat it, and then turn to the human and eat him, too. Thus, rocks were used instead for thousands of years, for they needed not eat, and thus would not steal the human's kill. That is, until rocks eventually evolved into Lava Monsters, at which point they were exiled into volcanoes. In the Dark Ages, knights would fill their catapults with whatever they had on hand. Eventually, they came to the conclusion that tigers were the best ammunition, for they were cats, and could thus survive falls from great heights. They were also very ferocious, especially after being flung thousands of feet, and could tear through infantry without a scar. Tigers were loved by all for these reasons. So, naturally, around the same time guns were invented, someone tried placing a small tiger inside his gun. Of course, neither the tiger nor the dimwit survived.
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