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| - The National Youth Theatre (NYT), the clandestine parent company of the New York Times (NYT) due to a Stamp Act-era ledger mistake, is the premiere UK theatre company for acting upstarts, wannabes, and prodigies. According to the UK constitution, all UK citizens and nationals must submit their CVs, a photo, and two blood samples to the NYT (no, the other one) by their fourth birthday. After a rigorous applicant selection process, the top 0.37% of children gain access to this most hollowed of theatrical institutions.
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| abstract
| - The National Youth Theatre (NYT), the clandestine parent company of the New York Times (NYT) due to a Stamp Act-era ledger mistake, is the premiere UK theatre company for acting upstarts, wannabes, and prodigies. According to the UK constitution, all UK citizens and nationals must submit their CVs, a photo, and two blood samples to the NYT (no, the other one) by their fourth birthday. After a rigorous applicant selection process, the top 0.37% of children gain access to this most hollowed of theatrical institutions. The Bugle boasts one confirmed graduate of the NYT, the illustrious John Oliver, Esquire, OBE. The statuses of Tom, Chris, Paul, and Wole are unconfirmed.
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