| abstract
| - 1873. And Sandy Claus 1874. And Handball Lemonhead 1875. And Melon 1876. And Jigsaw 1877. And Potato with Bad Circulation 1878. And the other annoying oranges 1879. And the onion rings 1880. And Pac-Man 1881. And Pinky, Inky, Blinky and Clyde 1882. And Daneboe himself 1883. Every teenybopper artist who ever lived 1884. The tropers on TV Tropes Wiki 1885. Coraline 1886. Wybie 1887. The Other Mother 1888. The Other Father 1889. The Other Wybie 1890. The Other Mrs. Spink and Forcible 1891. The Other Mr. Bobinsky 1892. The real Mr. Bobinsky 1893. The real Mrs. Spink and Forcible 1894. The real Coraline's mother and father 1895. The blue apple that is our logo of epic proportions 1896. Sweeney Todd 1897. Benjamin Barker 1898. Mrs. Lovett 1899. All of their victims 1900. And all of their pies 1901. Toby 1902. Johanna 1903. Anthony 1904. Short Round 1905. Adolfo Pirelli 1906. KROOOOOOZE! 1907. The Hair Guy's hair 1908. Beelzenef 1909. Rebecca Hawkins's satanic teddy bear 1910. Rick Astley 1911. That deer at the beginning of the Twilight movie 1912. Obelisk the Tormentor 1913. Slifer the Executive Producer 1914. Mega Ultra Chicken 1915. Amy Pond 1916. Yugi's Grandpa's super rare awesome chocolately fudge-coated mega supervagina 1918. Anita Blake (A real vampire hunter) 1919. Freddy Krueger, 2010 version (unfortunately he couldn't even get to Edward since he doesn't sleep. Bella and Jacob on the other hand.....) 1920. Heiwajima Shizuo 1921. Orihara Izaya 1922. Professor Hershel Layton (Edward spilled his tea, kicked Luke and Flora and called him a pedo, when we know who the real pedo is) 1923. Hanover Fiste (Sadly, after being torn into itsy bitsy pieces and buried alive, SMeyer ressurected Edward with her speshul powers of Suethorness so she could continue having sex dreams involving him and a bathtub full of orange jello.) 1924. Athena 1925. Magical Trevor 1926. Ash Ketchum 1926. Cookie Veggie Monster 1927. Zeus ( he hates vampires who sparkle) 1928. Peter Jackson 1930. The Entire Cast of Soul Eater 1932. Raziel 1933. Kain 1934. The whole Avenged Sevenfold, including The Rev 1935. Alfred Hitchcock 1936. All parrots 1937. Pixar 1938. Charlie Brown 1939. Snoopy the Dog 1940. Linus 1941. Lucy van Pelt 1942. Peppermint Patty 1943. Woodstock [from Peanuts] 1944. The rest of the Peanuts gang 1945. River Tam 1946. Yusuke Urameshi 1947. Kazuma Kuwabara 1948. Hiei Jaganashi 1949. Yoko Kurama 1950. Genkai 1951. Jayne Cobb 1952. Anything else Joss Whedon ever created or directed. 1953. Vash the Stampede (it's not really taking a life if he's already dead). 1954. Vincent Valentine. 1955. Cid Highwind 1956. SEPHIROTH. 1957. Satoshi Houjou (while he was hospitalized). 1958. Dom Cobb 1959. Mal 1960. Christian Bale 1961. Tommy Dawkins 1962. Merton Dingle 1963. M Night Shyamalan 1964. Ke$ha 1965. Dr Zoidberg 1966. Then Gandalf the Grey 1967. And Gandalf the White 1968. And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight 1969. And Benito Mussolini 1970. And the Blue Meanie 1971. And Cowboy Curtis 1972. And Jambi the Genie 1973. Robocop 1974. The Terminator 1975. Captain Kirk 1976. And Darth Vader 1977. Lo Pan 1978. Superman 1979. Every single Power Ranger 1980. Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan 1981. Spock 1982. The Rock 1983. Doc Ock 1984. And Hulk Hogan ( All came out of nowhere lightning fast, and they kicked Edward Cullen in his sparkly a$$, it was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe) [Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny XD] 1985. Every single member (and visitor)of TwilightSucks.com forum 1986. Nigahiga 1987. Edwart Mullen from Nightlight 1988. Every single Warrior cat 1989. The whole population of Forks, Washington 1990. Chris Crocker 1991. Sam Uley ( Ripped off his face for not loving him) 1992. Every single MegaMan villian (Especially the generation 2 Robot Masters) 1993. The guy who invented love 1994. That broken soda can on the side of the street 1995. You keyboard's Z and X keys 1997. Me, for the millionth time. 1998. The glitter factory 1999. Tay Zonday 2000. A black hole that tried to consume infinity while dividing by zero 2001: Benjamin Linus 2002: Yogi Bear 2003: Fatso the Wombat 2004: The Stig 2005: Rupert Bear 2006: Hugh Jackman 2007: My breakfast cereal 2008:Cleverbot 2009: Pac-Man 2010: The Monopoly guy 2011. Freddie from iCarly 2012. 2012 2013. Novak Djokovic 2014. Roger Federer 2015. Rafael Nadal 2018. Ernest Hemingway 2019. My uncle 2021. Him-- 0.0 2022. The Fire Lord 2023. King Bumi 2024. Azula 2025. Zuko 2026. Aang 2027. Katara 2028. Sokka 2029. Toph 2030. Uncle Iroh 2031. Mai 2032. Ty Lee 2033. Suki 2034. Yue 2035. Admiral Jhao 2036. Nancy Drew 2037. Big Daddies, Including the alpha series 2038. Splicers 2039. Little Sisters 2040. Andrew Ryan 2041. Dr. Tenenbaum 2042. Sofia Lamb 2043. Eleanor Lamb 2044. GlaDoS 2045. Jack of Blades 2046. Twin Blade 2047. Plankton 2049. Minerva McGonnagal (she never liked Diggory anyway) 2050. Neville Longbottom 2051. Katniss Everdeen (God, even I can't survive his kiss!) 2052. That guy that says 'Hoopla' in Spongebob 2053. Ted, Marshall, Robin (Gun Violence!), Lily, and Barney (What dick doesn't know how to date!) 2054. The publisher who published the book 2055. Lindsay Lohan (She wanted to steal his drugs) 2056. The random hobo sitting infront of Edward... oh wait, that is him! 2057. Maximum Ride 2058. The Flock 2059. Dalek Cann 2060. Llamas of the world 2061. The Cybermen 2062. Foamy the Squirrel 2063. Perry the Platypus 2064. Japan (both the country itself and the character from Axis Powers Hetalia, again) 2065. My gay friend (for unleashing bucket loads of gay jokes upon the world) 2066. Every member of SHINee (for stealing their "sparkly sparkly" image before they changed looks in "Lucifer") 2067. Taemin (again) 2068. Every member of Super Junior 2069. Every member of SNSD/Girls' Generation 2070. Yoogeun (he headbutted him in "that spot." Unfortunately this usually results in Power Ranger strength.) 2071. Johnny Yong Bosch 2073. Organization XIII 2074. Lisa Simpson 2075. Sideshow Bob 2076. The cast of Zoey 101 2079. G Dragon (he was pissed because red apples are HIS thing.) 2080. Coop Cooplowski (Megas XLR) (he ate Edward, but then saw the movies and vomited him up) 2081. Beatrice the Golden Witch 2082. Jim Raynor 2083. Sarah Kerrigan 2084. Tychus Findlay 2085. Arcturus Mengsk 2086. The Sons of Korhal 2088. The Imperium 2089. Gorgutz' Waaaagh! 2090. The Necrons 2091. Atton Rand 2092. The Zerg 2093. North Korea 2094. The Spanish Inqusition (Edward didn't expect them.) 2095. 4chan 2096. Sauron 2097. Saxton Hale! 2098. All worshippers of Chaos 2099. Khorne 2100. Tzeentch 2101. Slaneesh 2102. Nurgle 2104. All the ROUS (Rodents of Unusual Size) in existence 2105. Jack Black 2106. John Petrucci 2107. John Myung 2108. Jordan Ruddess 2109. James Labrie 2110. Light Yagami's epic potato chip 2111. Toothless 2112. Rush 2113: Vaati 2114: Beyond Birthday 2115: Teru Mikami 2116: Walter Sullivan 2117: The Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang 2118: The rest of the Fullmetal Alchemist Cast 2119: The rest of the Naruto Cast 2120: The rest of the Sonic Cast 2121: The Tails Doll 2122: Himself 2123: Professor Robert Langdon 2124: The Comedian 2125: Julius Caesar 2126: The Bride 2127: The three mermaid chicks from H2O 2128: Austin Powers 2129: Mini me 2130: Tony Montana 2131: Firo Prochainezo 2132: Maiza Avaro 2133: Luck Gandor 2134: Keith Gandor 2135: Berga Gandor 2136: Ennis 2137: Chick Jefferson 2138: Maria Balsereit 2139: Jacuzzi Splot 2140: Nice Holystone 2141: Chane Laforet 2142: Huey Laforet 2143: Ronny Sukiart 2144: Graham Specter 2146: Kanji Tatsumi 2147: Darren Criss 2148: Joey Richter 2149: Joey Richter's dick 2150: Rumbleroar 2150: Miss Cooter 2151: The Old Snatch 2152: The Sorting Hat 2153: The Scarf of Sexual Preference 2154: Firenze (mistook him for a strong woman because of the sparkles) 2155: The Zefron Poster 2156: Sanji (for being a total manwhore and stealing all the braindamaged women who might sleep with him) 2157: Nami 2158: Ussop 2159: Franky 2160: Robin 2161: Chopper 2162: Bon clay (mr 2) 2163: Emporio Ivakov 2164: Gloomy freaking bear
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