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| - Mordecai (calling to Rigby): Dude, hurry! It's back! It's back! Rigby (enters the living room with snacks in his arms): Aah-ha-ha! TV Announcer: We now return to... "Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice, I Punch Your Face!" Announcerbot: Hai! (Japanese for "yes") I am Announcerbot! Mordecai: Whoo! Yeah! Announcerbot: And now here's Shinehara! Shinehara: Thank you, Announcerbot. I am gamemaster Mitsuru Shinehara. ("MITS!" appears by Shinehara's head) Before break, Clive from U.K. fool me once... Audience: SHAME... ON... YOU! (words 'SHAME ON YOU!' show up on the screen when simultaneously spoken) Mordecai and Rigby: WH-O-O-O-OA! Benson: What is this? Mordecai: Japanese game show. Announcerbot: ROUND 2! Shinehara: Now, Clive, try to fool me again. Clive: Well, I'd like to, Shinehara-san, but you've got some food stuck between your teeth. Shinehara: Oh! Announcerbot, please, fetch toothpick. Clive: Ha ha! Fooled you, mate! Clive: Yeeah! Shinehara: You! Fool! Me! Twice! Voice: Baka Blitz! (Shown is a graphic of "BAKA BLITZ" to the right of Japanese characters ばか (baka) in parentheses, all in a yellow "shout bubble".) Mordecai: Dude, he's a goner. Nobody's ever completed the "Baka Blitz." Shinehara: You have 10 minutes to reach goal and grab Mystery Prize. But if time runs out or you give up, I punch your face. (Shinehara makes a punching gesture, almost punching Clive's face.) Rigby: What do you think the Mystery Prize is? I heard it's a bajillion yen, which is like a majillion dollars! Mordecai: I heard it's an 800-pound tuna. You could buy a house with that in Japan. Benson: You know what I heard? This show is GARBAGE! Shinehara: Clive, ready? Announcerbot: Go! Mordecai and Rigby: Go! Go! Go! C'mon! Yeah! Clive: Aah! Oof! Clive: My eyes! No more! (He waves a white flag to surrender. Shinehara appears and punches Clive in the face. The octopus with the rising sun headband appears on screen knocked out.) Mordecai and Rigby: Ha ha ha! Hahahahaha! Benson: (sighs) Why are you guys into this stuff? Rigby: 'Cause it's funny. You're a wet blanket, man. Benson: No, I'm not! Annoncerbot: Attention, U.S. viewers. (On TV, an octopus holds an American flag and does a salute.) For the first time ever, we are looking for American contestants. (Announcerbot appears with a mystery phone number flashing above him.) During broadcast tomorrow, we will flash phone number. (In front of Mount Rushmore, a man wearing a T-shirt that reads "AMERICAN FOOTBALL" picks up a phone and dials a number.) Be first to call and you'll be on show! (to the American man) You just won! Man: Whoa! I'm in Japan! Announcerbot (reads words that appear on screen): Land line only. Rigby: I know what we're doing at 4:30 tomorrow. Benson: Not on the park phones you're not. Mordecai: But it says land lines only! Benson: That's a long-distance call. Rigby: We could win the Mystery Prize. Mordecai and Rigby: Hm-hm! Rigby (offscreen): Go! Rigby (checks his stopwatch): 2.2 seconds. Mordecai (hangs up the phone): Still needs work. Mordecai (dials another phone number): Hey, Benson. How's it going? Rigby: What's up, man? Benson: What did I tell you about using the park phone?! Mordecai: Ugh! I feel something kind of damp. Rigby: Yeah, I feel it, too. What do you think it is? Mordecai: I don't know. Feels kind of like a wet blanket. Benson: Very funny. Now hang it up and put the TV back in the living room! Mordecai: Aw, come on, Benson! Rigby: We really think we can do this. Benson: I don't care. If I catch you trying this again, YOU'RE FIRED! (He storms out.) Mordecai: Ma-a-an... Rigby: This blows. I can't think of a single reason to keep on living if we can't be on this show. Mordecai: Wait! Rigby: What? Mordecai: I have a plan, (zoom in on his face) and it is the single most perfect plan in the history of plans. Rigby (his head floats by in a flashback): I know what we're doing at 4:30 tomorrow. Benson: Argggh! (He picks up the phone and hears Mordecai and Rigby on the line.) Rigby: (on phone) Do you think he fell for it? Mordecai: (on phone) Of course, dude. I went to art school. Rigby: You didn't graduate. Mordecai: Quiet! Benson: (banging the shed door) Open this door right now! Shinehara (seen on TV in front of the studio audience, heard between door knocks): Welcome to "Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice, I Punch Your Face." Rigby: Just show the number! Benson (still knocking): You two better not call that number! Mordecai and Rigby: Come on! Benson: Hang up that phone NOW! Announcerbot (on TV, with the phone number flashing above him): The number is... (the screen reads, "1-888-555-0123") Rigby: Dude, dial! Mordecai: I'm dialing! Announcerbot: Hello! Announcerbot: We have a winner! Shinehara (holds a microphone to Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson): What are your names, contestants? (We see the glare of Shinahara's face.) Mordecai: Omigosh. Rigby: Er... Benson: What the-- Shinehara: Welcome, first American contestants Omigosh, Er, and What The! Benson: No, no, no, there's been a mistake, and we need to leave. Our names are Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby. Shinehara: Oh, you fool me once! Audience: SHAME... ON... YOU! Benson: No! We weren't even trying to fool you! Shinehara: But I thought you were. (Sirens sound and red alarm lights appear around Benson. The Japanese word for "Amazing!" (すごい!, sugoi!) appears on screen.) Benson: THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Shinehara (rapidly stamps his feet as Announcerbot raises his arms): Yooou foool meee twice! Shinehara: You know what that means! Mordecai and Rigby: Baka Blitz! Baka Blitz! Baka Blitz! Benson: STOP! STOP! I refuse to play! Voice: Baka Blitz! Mordecai: Whoa! Rigby: Awesome. Shinehara: You have 10 minutes to get to goal. Shinehara: But if you give up before time ends, I punch your faces. Mordecai and Rigby: Awesome! Benson: Wait, what? Mordecai (grabbing Shinehara's arm with the microphone): I just wanted to say, we're gonna make history tonight! We're gonna be the first ever to win the Mystery Prize! Rigby: Yee-ah! USA! USA! Mordecai and Rigby: USA! USA! USA! Rigby: Come on! Say "USA" with us, Benson. Benson: Are you guys crazy?! You guys said nobody's ever beat it before! Mordecai: Dude, we've watched it a million times. There's a good chance we'll win the Mystery Prize. (At this, Rigby nods his head.) Benson: A chance?! What if we get punched in the face?! Rigby: Benson, this is TV. Nobody really gets hurt. Announcerbot (reads words on screen): Sincerity Spotlight! Shinehara (walking under a spotlight): You know, we have lots of fun on show, and I may not show it, but, actually, (he makes a fist) I hate being fooled. So it has been great pleasure defending prize by punching liars in face. Let's watch. Reporter: How does it feel to be the only contestant who didn't die? Contestant (speaks in Cockney accent): I can't feel me face, but at least I'm alive! Shinehara: Thank you, thank you. Mordecai: Listen, I think we should—- Wait! Come on. Can't we forefeit? Shinehara: Ready? Mordecai: What are we gonna do? Rigby: Benson? Benson: Come on, fellas. We got a game show to win. Announcerbot: Go! (He now announces the various obstacles throughout the course; their names appear onscreen.) Danger Hop! Benson: Come on! Announcerbot: Bumper Ballz! Shinehara: Do you give up? Mordecai and Rigby (climbing out of the water): No! Announcerbot: Sumo Slide! Announcerbot: Death Tube! Announcerbot: Ball Fall! Announcerbot: Tennis Balls Blast! Announcerbot: Buttock Shock! Announcerbot: Rhino Giddy Up! Shinehara: Ugh! Worry not, my pet. No one has ever made it through The Gutinator. Benson: Hurry! Mordecai: We can't... Benson: This is what you wanted, isn't it? Mordecai: It looked so much easier on TV. Mordecai: Ooohohohohh...! Rigby: Make it stop! Mordecai: Ohh! Rigby: I want to go home. Benson (approaching Mordecai and Rigby and offering them a hand): Come on. Announcerbot: Terror Taikos! Benson: The goal! Rigby (weakly): Uh oh. Benson: Don't have much time. Huh? (He notices Shinehara standing on a platform which appears from above. Shinehara jumps from the platform onto the Terror Taikos course, in front of the contestants.) Shinehara: Hahahahaha! (He grunts at whatever he is hiding in his cape.) Ohh! Nobody's ever won, and nobody ever will! Benson: Whoa, woah... (He points at Shinahara.) You can't shoot us! Shinehara: Shoot? Hahahahahaha! (He reveals his punching fist from under his cape, which is now bigger than ever, still beating and also electrified. The audience gasps. Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson look suprised) Rigby: Dude, what's up with your hand?! Shinehara: It's gone too long without punching a face. (grunts and his hand grows huge) Rigby: But you can't punch us! We haven't given up! Shinehara: Too bad! It is my show! (He stretches his arm, attempting to punch Mordecai, Rigby, and Benson, who jump out of the fist's way. The fist destroys some of the taikos and stretches back. Shinehara makes another attempt at punching them.) Benson: Run! Shinehara: Any last words? (He holds up his punching fist. The trio look at the swinging taiko behind Shinehara.) Benson: Look! It's Mt. Fuji! Shinehara: Huh? (looks behind him. Mordecai and Rigby push him in the way of the taiko, knocking him off the platform. He begins to fall to his death.) Benson: Run! Run! (the trio runs towards the goal) Shinehara: No! You fooled me 3 times! No! No! NOOOOOOO! (Having been fooled thrice, his punching hand magically stretches back and punches him - a fitting taste of his own medicine - and he falls into the lava, thus causing an explosion which the contestants start to run away from.) Announcerbot: The Americans are almost there! Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby: (chanting in unison) USA! USA! USA! Mystery Prize Box: (giggles) Excellent work. You have won the Mystery Prize. Your choice of... (It opens, flashing two items) Announcerbot: A state-of-the-art clipboard with built-in clock and calculator, or... a trip to Space Camp! Mordecai and Rigby: Space Camp! Benson: Clipboard! Announcerbot: Congratulations! You are the first contestants to beat the Baka Blitz without being punched or dying. (sadly) This means I have failed. Gomen'nasai, Shinehara-senpai. (This is Japanese for "I'm sorry, Master Shinehara"; that being said, he self-destructs, exploding into pieces.) Pops: Hello? Ready to get picked up from space camp? Mordecai: Yeah, but-- Benson: I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! (laughs) Mordecai: Please help us.
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