| abstract
| - Cosmo the Dimwitted Train and His Acquaintances Episode 1: I Like Soy Milk DEAR ANNOYING POPULAR KIDS WHO ARE MEAN AS HECK I'm not so sure what, but I felt like doing something what I wouldn't dare to, ever again.... So, here's the story of a stupid silly little steam tank engine, who wanted to come out of his ol' shed and branch line and see the world outside of him and the railyards. These random stories might will tell you how he did it, so I hope you'll like them, because that's all the fun left I make Trixie Tang my girlfriend for life. - Timmy Turner, head unpopular kid. (The intro starts as a weird white, light blue, and green 2-10-0 "Russian Decapod/Russian locomotive class Ye" steam locomotive with two tenders and pulling some Proctor tanker cars with a bobber cupola caboose at the rear comes chugging along a line going behind a big field with a abandoned farm and a graveyard of old rusty autombiles with some cheesy synthesizer music to go with it. The entire train then goes past a signal box with a small walk-over bridge and a regular rail crossing and then smashes through a car, loud crushing noises and screams with the Soldier and Francis inside were heard from it. The engine ends up arriving at the station but not without running over a cat in a cartoony way causing it make that regular cat sound effect when something is thrown at it. The train stops and the engine lets off steam, The funny face of the engine was Cosmo smiling like always) Cosmo is a tender engine who operates in the countries of Grouchland, Oulapland, Free Country, USA, and Dimmsdale. He's a very idiotic engine, and has two leading wheels on one axle, ten powered and coupled driving wheels on five axles, and no trailing wheels, two tenders, one for coal, another for water, a short stumpy funnel, a American-style headlight and a cast iron number plate on top of his smoke box, a few domes, a bell, a CNR 4-chime steam whistle, and a very tiny brain. (Cuts to Cosmo pulling ex-Amtrak passenger coaches, each car has the Amtrak logo covered up with the railroad's name "Oulapland and Rio Grande Railroad", the cars were repainted cars from the old ATSF, Penn Central, and Burlington Northern railroads. Cosmo pulled up to the platform for loading the local commuters so that they could get to their destinations with their 99€ tickets.) The Oulapland and Rio Grande Railroad, since built and ran in the late 1800s, is not quite an important railroad, but indeed it does run local freight services. It also runs passenger and excursion services as well. This railroad serves the countries of Grouchland, Oulapland, Free Country, USA, and Dimmsdale. (The controller of the railway known as “The Twerp Controller” walks over on the platform to Ed, The guy... erm... boy was wearing a white business suit, a pink hat, white shoes, sunglasses, a weird hairstyle, he was rather short, and hated popular kids and charged them $12345.89 for each ride, This man, or boy to be precise is Sir Timmy Turner) “Hi Timmy!” Cosmo said to his railway owner, giving him his other nickname. “Hey Cosmo my boy, can you be a good fella and pull the train on time, while I head off to a big city somewhere for a business meeting?” The Twerp Controller asked, “Sure thing Timmy!” Cosmo said as he waited for the conductor to give the signal. “Allllll Aboooooaaaarrrd!!!!!” The conductor yelled, Cosmo toots his whistle twice as he goes off to the next station. “Choo! Choo!” While Cosmo heads down the line, the Twerp Controller then waves bye to Cosmo, and droves off to a big city somewhere, which for some reason the "big city somewhere" is literally called "Big City Somewhere". (Cosmo leaves the station, heading off to a station called "Elvis Presley Memorial Station", while passing a junkyard of old locomotives along the way as the narrator continues, at least obviously. The narrator told exactly what we're seeing here.) Cosmo was going to deliver passengers to Elvis Presley Memorial Station to have them visit the town to go shopping at the mega mall. But before he reaches the station, along the way, there he passes by a sitting junkyard full of some old and run down locomotives of many sorts, some were small steam engines that looked like they were from the 1800s, just sitting there and rusted a bit over these years, and then some old diesels, mostly GE U-boats and EMD GP30's, also rusted and just sitting there. Apparently the Twerp Controller got them cheap from CSX and various other railroads but didn't have enough money to keep them repaired all year round, and stuff like that.
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