| abstract
| - Synopsis: The Autobots finally get around to saving Michael Bay! Dry and unforgiving bush country. Australia is known for its contrasts, and its west coast is one of them. Isolated stands of trees are here and there, bravely standing against the almost oppressive heat, but not very well. Not much of interest, unless you like sheep farms. The southern areas, however, have a more Mediterranean feel to them, and are the second largest tourist spot on the whole continent, after Sydney. A lone man wanders through the desert, sweaty, tired, emaciated... defeated. He needs to make it back to civilization, but he has no idea where that even is in this country. On he continues for several hours before he finally collapses onto his face. However, just as he does, a jeep pulls up to him. A man steps out of the jeep, landing in the desert in his alligator boots, and approaches the man. He searches the wallet, and finds a driver's license. It's John Dunn. HOURS LATER An EDC intelligence agent has summoned the Autobots to a secret facility in Australia, with word that John Dunn has been found! It's a sparse, empty room, for the most part, but big enough to house Autobots. Thrust has arrived. Red Alert looks about the room nervously, sniffing the air, studying the walls for cameras, listening for electronics of all sorts and especially for anything transmitted on the radio frequency. He looks keenly interested - in *everything*, as well as faintly annoyed for some reason. Slag has arrived. Aramasu Hikage follows not far behind Red Alert looking for anything too small or hidden beyond the reach of giant metal hands. Scraps of paper with notes on it, homing beacon, transmitter anything weird or out of the ordinary. Foxfire is sitting on his haunches in a corner, ears perked forward in a curious manner. He'd normally tell Red not to be so paranoid, but really, what's the point in doing that? Porsche 959 drives up in Porsche form, and he doesn't transform. Instead, Muzzle, in blue fedora and trenchcoat, exits the Porsche. Together, they'll have Nightbeat and his keen senses outside the house to watch for danger and Muzzle inside to get the lowdown. Muzzle pulls on a pair of black leather gloves and dusts himself off before he enters the house, and he's at leastas attentive to detail as Nightbeat himself would have been. He tips his hat slightly to Aramasu. Fellow squishy. The sounds of heavy foot steps are heard as a triceratops is seen running towards the house at top speed! Slag then stops when he see's the porsche and growls. "Me Slag here to smash sceptycons!" He bellows to the porsche. "Bon jerno, Autobots," the EDC agent growls. "As you have heard, we have found John Dunn, an individual kidnapped by the Decepticons and forced to do their bidding. Apparently, he did NOT escape, the Decepticons just let him go. Apparently, they don't even care if he lived or died. Important thing is, though, since he was found by the crew shootin' the new Crocodile Dundee movie, he was able to give us the location of the secret Australian Decepticon base." He clicks on a gyromouse, and an image is projected on the wall of a giant Decepticon symbol carved into the side of a plateau. "That's it. And yeah, yeah, I know. But the thing of it is? John Dunn said Michael Bay is also inside that building. So we need to disguise you people as Decepticons and have you infiltrate that facility, extract Mr. Bay, and then exfiltrate the hell out of there." It's basically a big Decepticon symbol carved into the side of a plateau. How anyone has missed it for so long is a mystery. DeLorean watches intently, knowing little more about John Dunn or Michael Bay than he has picked up through gossip. "This Bay human... he is some kind of photographer, yes? He makes pictures?" He frowns, having shown his ignorance. "What is our plan in case we are discovered?" Red Alert mutters something about hanging whoever it is who's supposed to review the satellite feeds, then remembers that his supervisor is in the room (kind of). He clears his throat, then looks around at those gathered. "So, uhm, we'll need new paint jobs?" Fairway converts back to robot mode. Porsche 959 is thinking something, and inside the house, in what would appear to be a complete non sequiteur, Muzzle suddenly makes a horrified face. He shouts, seemingly in answer to no-one, "No! We're not doing that again!" Then, mortified, Muzzle clams up and settles back down to the business of being a suspicious jerk. Aramasu Hikage ponders a bit the plan. "I could always sneak in and unlock a door or something. If now I can always use my 'Shinobi' parked outside." motioning to the Talon Exo-Armor parked 100' away from the house. Foxfire snorts. "Of *course* they don't care if he lives or dies. They're Decepticons." His ears twitch, and he looks up at Red. "I don't need a paint job, myself. I have my holograms." And then, to Nightbeat: "You're going to crossdress again, aren't you?" The EDC agent stares at the DeLorean. "What, you never heard of Michael Bay? Well, he USED to make my favorite movies, til he made that damn Decepticonz movie. You need to get out more, son. If you are caught? Then you blast yer way outta there, but you gotta get Mr. Bay out alive." Then he turns to Red Alert. "Yeah, you probably will. Or maybe some slight mods. Like some wings, or sumthin'." Then to Nightbeat! "I ain't got no idea the hell you're talkin' about, son!" Slag growls as he moves to the entrance of the house and bellows. "Infillerate take too long! Me Slag say me Slag go smash base, get humey and smash more!" He bellows. Porsche 959 is outside, being a car. Muzzle is inside the house, and he stamps his foot, crosses his arms, and growls, "No. Nightbeat is /not/ crossdressing again. We'll... just paint Nightbeat silver, with red flames, and some red, orange and black in robot mode, and that's that." And then Nightbeat will look just like Energon Hot Shot, completing the cycle of repaints. The EDC agent scowls at Slag. "Numbnuts, we don't want the 'cons to kill their prisoner if they know there's Autobots around! That's why yer infiltratin'! And another thing--heard a rumor that GALVATRON himself might be at this base, right now. Apparently there's some big presentation he's goin' to see." Aramasu Hikage grins as he is liking this more and more by the minute. "Sounds almost too easy now that we know where they are. We can always keep the angry one outside as our backup or to help create a makeshift door if we get discovered." Red Alert looks at Slag as the EDC agent speaks. "We can do that. And those of us who can't can find something else to do with their time, correct, Slag?" Blades has arrived. Blades has left. Blades has arrived. In the distance, a great distance, the Seeker hovers tonight. In the distance, the quiet distance, the Seeker hovers tonight. The hovering engines make a barely audible noise that go like: Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh. Yes, Thrust is in the very fair distance and unable to be observed just as he is not capable of observing the Autobots and the EDC activity. The maroon Seeker is too focused on observing his freshly polished black hands. "Heh, JAZZ hands." He retorts to himself, as if he is having the best conversation with an imaginary friend. "So, as for our plan, it will be daring and cunning." "But Thrust, I don't know your plan?" "Oh Ramjet, you poor albino Seeker. You'll never be included in on Thrust's Great Plan. In fact, you, Dirge... You and Ramjet will have to fight to the oblivion if you want to even be a part of my Seeker House. Catechism, I'll figure out what I'll deal to you later." Yes, Thrust is imagining that he is in control of Aerospace for once. "Oh, Fleet. You will be forgiven for having a poor misshapen head. I feel sorry that you are without a cone. Here, take Ramjet's!" "Me Slag smash when me slag want and me slag want smash Galvytron!" Slag bellows to the house, standing next to nightbeat and bellowing at the top of his lungs. It's actually a secret EDC facility, but ok, whatevah. The EDC agent claps his together, and barks, "OK, ladies, let's rock and roll!" SEVERAL HOURS LATER, IN FRONT OF THE SECRET AUSTRALIAN DECEPTICON BASE WITH A BIG DECEPTICON SYMBOL ON IT... Combat: Modified Exo-Armor activates its cloaking field and vanishes from sight! Red Alert is painted up like a Decepticon police car once more. Might as well go back to that one - it lets him keep his flasher bar in place. He's looking over the base, but pauses to lift his head. Quietly, he says to the others nearby, voice barely above a whisper, "Thrust has been sent on patrol. It's almost like they're expecting us." Foxfire has a hologram up, easily disguising himself as a feline Decepticon tapebot. "Wouldn't doubt it. They should know we'd act sooner or later." He, too, keeps his voice down. Modified Exo-Armor follows the others while invisible. Hikage tries to remain slightly away to prevent people bumping into him by accident. <> Silver Porsche 959 speeds across the desert with the rest of them. He is, indeed, painted silver with red flames, and he'll be a silver, red, orange, and black robot when he transforms. About that... that's... awkward. Won't the Decepticons notice a brand-new Headmaster? And that is wky Muzzle is dressed up as a cassette and Nightbeat has a bucket for his head. Blades, who was here all along with the other Autobots but only came out of his gumbyism status, now quietly follows the others. Earlier he complained about having to disguise himself as Vortex again, a distasteful act that he had to endure for the sake of the INNOCENT HUMAN CHILDREN everywhere during Halloween. He clearly hasn't gotten over the fact that he's forced to disguise as Vortex again, and it shows with each begrudging step he takes. Slag runs off to go smash stuff. The maroon Seeker flies into the area and begins a preliminary scan. "Hmm, nothing here but those recruits. Stupid recruits. Why did we get more Battlechargers to join our ranks?" Thrust scratches his chin. "Heh, I should tell the Battlechargers that their first task is to go mess up Ramjet!" Fairway looks a bit like Runamuck in his disguise. He lags behind the others, not too confident that he'll be able to fool anyone. "Thrust," he whispers, "Don't you think it's going to look a little bit suspicious with so many Decepticons returning to base at once? Surely there are logs about who is out on patrol and who should be in the base." Mecha-Triceratops transforms into his Slag mode. Slag cruises west to the Indian Ocean - Indonesia/Australian Coast. Slag has left. Blight has arrived. The insect unfolds and shifts, becoming Blight the decepticon Blight shrinks and folds himself to his tiny insect mode. Modified Exo-Armor doubles checks to make sure the crossbow is loaded in case he needs to take out a sentry in a hurry. Still you can't help but feel a little bit weird as you walk around in plain sight but nobody notices you. Red Alert transforms into his Barricade mode. You receive a radio message from Blight: Want me to watch over Thrust to make sure he doesnt screw things up, my liege? You send a radio message to Blight: Yes, yes, whatever. Thrust looks over at Fairway, "Oh, hey Runover, is it? Curious, how did you guys find out about this place? It's on a need to know basis. Or at least I thought it was. Galvatron is going to be sooo upset!" There's a few gumby Decepticons standing in front of the secret base, apparently as sentries. They don't look terribly bright. For instance, one of them is picking his nose, despite the absence of nostrils. A buzzing noise is heard by Blades as a insect tries to land on the 'decepticon'. It is three quarters of an inch big, and if blades looked at the bug closely, it would bare a striking resemblance to the insecticon he had fought on Maximus. "Too late now," 'Barricade' murmurs quietly, to 'Drivetrain,' barely above a whisper. With that, he straighten up and snorts at Thrust. "He doesn't sound *that* upset. I've heard him upset, and he doesn't sound it." He jerks his head towards the base. "We were sent here to help with the next bleepin' movie." The maroon Seeker hovers and looks at Fairway, whom he thinks is a Battlecharger named Runover for some reason. "So, Runover, am I in charge or are you in charge? You look like the leaders of all these new recruits. And Battlechargers know how to break things. So what are we doing tonight?" Silver Porsche 959 can hear Blight. He can hear lots of things. Most of them, he doesn't /want/ to hear. He transforms, assuming his bucket-headed robot mode. Without Muzle there to actually be his head, Nightbeat is a lot clumsier than usual, but that fits with the overly enthusiastic, 'teenage' persona he has assumed. he takes a few stumbling steps forward before proclaiming, "Wow, show business! Galvatron is the best! Are we going to get to see Galvatron?" Muzzle, meanwhile, says, "Eh," trying to get in character as Canadicon, another one of Soundwave's drunken projects. The puzzle pieces of Porsche 959 rearrange into the hard-boiled Autobot detective, Nightbeat! 'Stalker' slinks around 'Barricade's' legs, looking...well. Like a Decepticon feline. Barricade looks over at Fairway, making a 'go on' gesture. Better for 'Drivetrain' to be in charge than Thrust! Or Runover, even! The gumbies glance at each other, then at 'Barricade.' "Huh?" one of them says. "You're helping with the next movie? But they just got done with the last one!" He frowns, straining to think about this. Then he glances over at Thrust. "So, uh, do we let these guys in?" Runover tries to make his face look hard and battle-hungry. "I'm leading these wads back from patrol," he says, his voice made gruff by an adjustment to his vocal processor, "and, uh, then... I dunno about you, but I'm planning on finding something to smash!" Another gumby shrugs at 'Hot Shot.' "I dunno, maybe. Don't bother him while he's watchin' the movie, though. Big premiere and stuff." Blades doesn't seem phased by Blight's landing on his shoulders, but that's probably because he's too busy acting natural in enemy territory. Sadly enough Blades isn't the most observant Autobot around. The Protectobot remains quiet, he really doesn't have anything worthwhile to say at the moment, and when you don't have any worthwhile thing to say in an infiltration op it probably would be the wiser thing to stay quiet lest you want to shoot yourself in the foot in the worst possible place. Thrust looks at the Gumbies. "Heh, stupid question. Don't let them in. Remember we can fly in!" He nods to Runover, "Let's race and smash somethings!" He then gets his instant message back from Galvatron, "Oh, we can let them in. Darn, I wanted to fly against someone." Barricade looks visibly relieved by something he hears, but it's rather hard to say what, exactly. He snorts. "Of *course* we can go in!" he exclaims, then saunters towards the gate. Ooh, sweet! The interior reveals a giant theater and all kinds of secret facilities! It looks spacious! Thrust looks at Stalker. "Heh, you remind me of a pet I once had when I was younger a couple months ago. His name was Foxfart." Blight remains on the mech's shoulder as he scurries about, clawed limbs along him to hold onto smooth metal. He tries to find a good spot which he can munch on without this 'decepticon' complaining too much. "I'll race ya as soon as I get back out here, then. I gotta get a drink in me. Yeah! I, uh, love to drink!" He winces at this. "And I'm faster than any Seeker, even on land!" He sets about 'ushering' the others into the base. This is Runover, of course. Hot Shot runs for the gate, his arms out in a 'wheee' like gesture, and he asks, "Does Lord Galvatron eat jaAm as he watches his movie premier? I heard he eats jaAm made out of Minibots!" Canadicon, on the other hand, as perhaps befits one of Soundwave's cassettes, is quiet and dignified as he trails the group, silently watching everyone with suspicions to report to his dark master. Modified Exo-Armor follows close in formation keeping an optic behind the group of 'Decepticon extras' soon as he is inside the EDC Agent lays flat against the wall and moves sideways in order to maximize the effect of the optical camouflage and not be in anyone's way. Stalker peers up at Thrust with a raised optic ridge. "Uh...right." The gumbies shrug to each other as 'Hot Shot' rushes between them. "What's JaAm?" "I dunno. His shoulders were big, though. Maybe it makes your shoulders big?" Maybe." Hot Shot, as catches the gumbies' conversation, suddenly wails, "Why my shoulders hurt?" Canadicon doesn't know him. Really. Thrust sniffs and looks around. He tries to look for something that seems off. "Hm, seems we have a problem here." He grinds his mechanical jaws back and forth. "Yes, something is definitely not right." The Seeker is on the lookout for Blight. And with 'Hot Shot' saying something about his shoulders hurting, that is all Thrust needs to figure it out! "You! You are being eaten alive by Blight!" Blades follows the rest of the Autobots in and mutters as the gates behind him closes, "They really shouldn't have idiots keep watch." Shortly afterwards the Protectobot grunts out in pain as the Insecticon that was hitching a ride on him finally digs into his body frame, "Ugh! What in the blazes?!" He swings his head back towards the shoulder that Blight was chewing on and instinctively uses his other hand to try to swat the irritating critter away. Barricade is ahead of Hot Shot and the others. He groans as he continues to walk casually into the base, and shakes his head. He stalks more than walks, glaring at anyone who comes too near, though he's watching, listening, and smelling as carefully as he always has. Blight had taken a good bite also, before he is swatted off. He then transforms into giant insect mode in mid air, so when blades swats him off, he appears by the decepticon and then he goes to fly to Thrust, shrinking at the last minute so Thrust cant find him. "I will chew on you instead then, Thrust." Modified Exo-Armor looks along the walls for a plan of the place like those fire escape plans. Hey even Decepticons can panic during a fire. The ninja looks around for any indication for the location of the human detention area. Hot Shot is, at the very least, getting Thrust's attention, and that means that people like Barricade and Shroud and Stalker and Runover and whatnot can go do their jobs! He throws his arms up and moans, "My life is pain!" This doesn't really confirm or deny where Blight is and isn't really useful at all. Canadicon scuttles off to check out the concessions stands. Thrust snarls at Blight. "Didn't you hear?" "I... I am the SWEEP COMMANDER. I have challenged and defeated the GREAT Scourge. I will not be so easily attacked by an annoyance like you." Thrsut then proceeds to transform into his experimental jet mode and uses the transformation sequence to turn Blight into mechanical dust if all goes well. Yes, Thrust did indeed beat Scourge by challenging him to a fistfight and Scourge never showed up for the challenge. There is indeed a room conveniently labeled, "Human Detention Area." It's right next to the "Autobot Detention Area," which, in turn, is next to the torture chamber. Red Alert has arrived. As for this room, though, you are indeed right inside the lobby of a theater. Various Decepticons are milling about and chatting as they file into the theater. No sign of Galvatron or Michael Bay, so far, though. Runover wonders if he can head off in the direction of the detention area without looking suspicious. He decides that confidence is the key in this ruse, and heads off down the hall. He struts, trying to look as if he knows exactly where he's going and what he's going to do when he gets there. Barricade, being HIGHLY OBSERVANT, happens to notice the signs as he passes them. However, he tries not to look too interested. In fact, he snorts and turns towards Thrust. "Can't *believe* we're wasting the resources housing anyone here. Why don't we just kill 'em?" Modified Exo-Armor heads towards the human detention area slowly and trying to time his paces with the ambient noise. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Stalker slips over to the Autobot Detention Area and peers inside to see if any Autobots are currently inside. He hopes there aren't. He does his casually, not wanting to draw attention and suspicion to himself; he's merely a cassette checking to make sure things are in order. "Alright, um, Barricade. You take Runover and Ravage with you. Go kill all the humans." He then looks for Hot Spot. "So you're the brains of this unit?" There is indeed a shuddering figure hunched over in one of the cells in the Autobot Detention Area. His form is hard to make out, though. Stalker narrows his optics. He glances around quickly, and then, satisfied that no one's paying him any heed, he slips into the detention area and over toward the cell that the figure occupies. Now who could this be? "I'm not messin' with the cat," Barricade declares, lifting his hands in a 'nononono' gesture. "Considering it's one of /his/." That, and the 'cat' is now investigating the other cage, something 'Barricade' doesn't want to stop. "But sure, Runover and I can take out the trash for you." He nods towards Runover. "Right, boss?" Canadicon has to wonder if this is an elabourate set-up. Maybe the Decepticons let John Dunn escape to lure them all here. What would the Decepticons do to a Nebulan? What Thunderwing did? Worse? What if they force him to become some Decepticon's head? That would be horrific! So he keeps looking for the concessions stand. Hot Shot nods emphatically and agrees, "Everyone likes me for my keen tactical insight! They say I have a way of finding the shortest path to any problem, golly gee." Blades steps into the lobby of the theater and tries to stand casually around. He only just recently noticed that Aramasu is no longer with the group, and finds Foxfire trotting off away as well. He agrees with reluctance over Thrust's comment. "Whatever you say, Thrust," rasps Runover, "Let's go, Barry. I can't wait to smash me some fleshlings!" He stomps off in the direction of the holding cells. Once Aramasu finds the human detention area, he will discover... no one is inside. However, one of the cells has a huge pile of empty Pepsi cans in it, rat carcasses, as well as "art," made with smeared blood, which appears to depict horribly misshapen robots, much like what was seen in Decepticonz: The Movie. As for the Autobot cell, it's still a bit hard to make out the occupant. He might have wings, though. Stalker tries to study the figure, but as stated, said figure is hard to make out, even at this close distance. "Hey!" he whispers. "Hey, say something!" "Go away!" the occupant of the Autobot cell says. "Haven't you people tormented me enough? Humiliated me by putting in this horrible place? Leave me alone!" Barricade takes a deep breath, trying to get a fix on the scent of the person who used to occupy this room. He grunts, and glances back at Runover and Thrust. "Y'know you're missing your flesh creature, right?" Thrust yawns and begins hovering. "Woah, forgot I can do this." HE smirks an looks at those around him, "So, seriously, why did you guys sign up for this?" The concession stand is easy to find, and has a wide variety of energy treats. "WHAT," barks the gumby manning the stand, who looks unhappy that he has to be here, and not watching the movie. Stalker frowns. "Listen, you...I'm here to help. I'll go alert my comrades and we'll get you out of here." As he says this, he checks to make sure no one else is in the detention area and listening in. "What for?" the unseen prisoner in the Autobot cell says. "So they go beat me to scrap behind the base again? No thanks, I'm staying right here!" "You're an Autobot, are you?" Stalker questions. He leaves it at that, ears perked as he awaits an answer. Thrust smirks, "Oh, that fleshbag? We transferred him somewhere. He's not here." Modified Exo-Armor continues his search for the two Tae Kwon Do masters Windshear kidnapped. Those guys gotta sleep or eat somewhere unless the Decepticons have more than one human detention facility. Always a possibility though it would make sense to keep them all in the same place. Hot Shot proclaims proudly, "Because Decepticons are the best and I want to be the best!" Canadicon, from over near the concession stands, just stares over at Thrust. Soundwave's cassettes require no explaination, eh. Sunstreaker has arrived. "Just killing time. There isn't a lot of things to do." Blades grumbles, and continues to rant, "They should've casted me in the movie too. I can't believe they would leave out the ever great, Shroud, from the silver pictures." The Protectobot balls up his right fist and shakes it angrily. He definitely become more and more natural about this whole infiltration thing. "Now are we going to stand here all day, dammit?" The Tae Kwon Do masters aren't here, either, but that's mostly because, OOCly, that's someone else's shindig. Nevertheless, it is clear that Michael Bay WAS here. There's some Pepsi spilled in what was his cell that still looks wet, so he probably didn't leave very long ago. Meanwhile, in the Autobot cell, the figure yells, "NO! For the last time, I'm not an Autobot!" He rushes the bars, shaking them. "I'm Vektor, and I'm a damned Decepticon!" "Yeah?" Red Alert asks Thrust as he mentions the human getting transferred. "Where to? I need to know so I can avoid the place." He shakes his head. "Keeping drains like that around, letting them stink up the place..." Stalker jerks his head back in surprise, his optics widening. "A Decepticon? But why would they...I mean, we...err...throw you in here?" In his alarm, he almost slips up! Thrust leans against the wall and stretches, "Well, the Liege should be on his way here any minute I suppose. We should go watch the movie. He might be ticked if he sees us screwing around out here!" Over the intercom, a speaker announces, "Five minutes remain until the movie begins! Please find your seats now, or face the wrath of Lord Galvatron!" Modified Exo-Armor continues his search in the vicnity of the cell for any other clues to the whereabouts of M. Bay. A quick look at the chrono, the longer the stay the bigger the chances of being exposed. Got to find the guy and get out. Thrust looks over at the theatre, "Well, we best sit down and enjoy the show!" Canadicon has decided that casing the concessions stand is futile, so he decides to lope over to the human containment area, to see if there is any clue left behind - when the announcement comes. Blast! He walks stiffly, overly robotic, to go sit where the cassettes are meant to sit. Hot Shot meanders toward the seats, knocking into walls and generally being clumsy. He can't help it. He has a bucket for a head. Runover waits until he and Barricade are a little way down the corridor to turn and whisper, "Perhaps Mr. Bay will appear before the Decepticons before the start of his picture." He puts his hand on his chin. "That is HIS picture they will be playing, isn't it?" One of the pieces of art that Aramasu will find looks suspiciously like a theater that is *on fire,* with flaming robots running around everywhere inside. It's probably nothing. Meanwhile, in the Autobot cell, Vektor says, "Because I have mysterious fears that I can't understand, and so everyone calls me, 'Vektor, the cowardly Autobot!' I mean, all they have to do is show me some cracked glass and I panic! I don't get it! Why am I so afraid of cracked glass?" Barricade gives a quick nod to Runover. "SO I would assume," he says quietly. "He hasn't been gone long, but with this place's *filth*, I haven't been able to get a clear idea on where his scent might lead. 'How could the Decepticons do this to one of their own...?' Well, Foxfire shouldn't be surprised, really, but he'll never understand how Decepticons think. Keeping up his guise as Stalker, he says, "Err, well, I should be going... Maybe I can convince someone to let you out." Modified Exo-Armor does not like what he finds and examines the piece of art to see if there any depection of something else than a robot that might hint at the location when the event in the art happens...If it happens better be prepared. The art also depicts a small stick figure standing behind the projection screen, holding a torch and standing in front of a pile of burning materials. The stick figure has a delirious grin on his face despite the fact that he is also on fire. Barricade meanders towards the theater. It's where he's supposed to go, right? His expression is very intent, however, as though he were focusing on something not quite here. Well, several somethings, by the way he looks around at times. Thrust finds a package of Superglue and heads over to where Runover is. "Hey Buddy, want to sniff some?" He grins and overs the package to Runover. "I know you Battlechargers like these." Hot Shot finally sits down in a seat, and he says very loudly, "Oh boy, I hope lots of things blow up! Boom! Hahahah! Awesome!" If he knew there was a painting of a robot on fire here, he'd be very disturbed. A little fairy cassette happens to be sitting next to Muzzle. "Teehee, you must be Americon's Canadian cousin!" she says. Then, darkly, she leans over, muttering, "Of course, Americon himself is Canadian, but if you tell him that I will BURN YOUR SOUL." Blades glances upwards as the intercom broadcasts and frowns as he realizes that neither Aramasu or Foxfire has returned, "Hey, maybe we should head on into the theater room soon and grab the back row seats while they're still open." The Protectobot can barely keep his grimace from showing underneath his cleverly disguised faceplate. "I don't think I want to be in a seat surrounded by all sides in a room full of our fellow 'Decepticons', y'know?" He then walks over to the concessions' booth and orders a few extravagant goodies, "Uh yeah, just charge it under my friend, Vortex's, tab." Oh yes, Blades is all about being underhanded, even if he has to dock an enemy's paycheck to do so. Canadicon nods soberly and replies simply to Glitter, "Eh." Ooh, blackmail information! Barricade, who is already in the theater, looks around for the nearest small ally. Canadicon or Stalker would do. Canadicon is sitting next to a fairy cassette in the cassette section of the theatre. Modified Exo-Armor mutters a "Baka" and heads back the way he came looking for any other 'Extras' that are in the hallway in his area. He stops by the cell Foxfire is inspecting, still invisible to the naked optic. He figures the animal probably has some keen senses so he gently taps the door frame in a slow rythmic manner to get it's attention. Since Stalker is elsewhere, that makes Canadicon the nearest one. Barricade picks up a small, used energon-goody holder which he absently throws... at Hot Shot? Someone kicks Hot Shot's seat. Uhoh, looks like a burly tank gumby. "You better not be talkin' durin' the movie, or I'll CRUSH you!" he growls. In the Autobot cell, Vektor waves a hand at Stalker, "No, no, just leave me in here. There's no glass in here, so I think I'm safe..." Then, a speaker appears on stage in front of the projection screen. "All rise for Lord Galvatron!" And then, all of the Decepticons in the theater suddenly stand up and turn around. Blades slides into a seat on the last row of the theater, and does what all Decepticons would do in a theater, he places he knee against the back of the seat in front of him. Barricade grumbles, stands up, and follows suit, though he seems to be trying to sidle towards an aisle, and then closer to the screen, anytime he's not being looked at. Runover is making his way to the theater, his combat visor down, scanning for any human life signs. His visor isn't particularly good at picking up humans, so he is in the process of recalibrating it when Thrust approaches and gives him a package of Superglue. He is startled, but contains his reaction. "We.. uh... ah yes! Thanks, Thrust! You're a great guy!" Runover takes the container and presses presses the tip up against his olfactory sensor. He vents a sound like an inhalation and then tries to imagine what a mech who is whacked out on glue might look like. He dims his optics and reels, arms out zombie-style. "Oh wow," he moans, "That's totally heavy." He's so caught up in this act that he doesn't notice what's going on onstage. "O-okay, if you say so..." Stalker goes quiet snaps his head up at the tapping and perks his ears. He gives Vektor one last glance, and then hurries over to the door. Hot Shot just barely manages to catch the used energon-goody holder, fumbling it in his hands, and he protests, "My life is pain!" But, behind the goofy facade, he's checking the holder over for secret clues. A random Decepticon hisses at Runover, "Dude, Galvatron's almost here, turn around before you get us in trouble!" If Hot Shot, or, say, Canidicon, happen to look towards the thrower of the holder, they will notice Barricade briefly gesture towards the screen. Thrust smirks and runs back to his seat. "Heh, high grade Super Glue. That'll keep him busy for hours!" From Modified Exo-Armor , Aramasu Hikage closes the cell door behind Stalker to isolate Vektor from the noise and kneels down. <> While Hot Shot is busy examining the holder, Canadicon sees Barricade's gesture. He stands and excuses himself to Glitter, "I am going to get some TimEnergonBits from the concessions, eh." Canadicon heads off that way... and then veers along the wall, toward the screen itself. Glitter giggles, "Heehee, tell Americon what I said and you'll never be seen again!" Stalker subtly nods in understanding. <> He dashes out of the detention area and toward the theater. As he does so, he opens up a link to Barricade, and continues using his comrade's code name in case someone intercepts the message. <> Barricade looks faintly annoyed as Stalker breaks radio silence. But at least he kept to character! Over the radio, keeping to his 'Decepticon' voice, he answers, <> The speaker, standing before the projection screen, announces, "And now, the great and terrible LORD GALVATRON! All HAIL GALVATRON!" Almost as one, the *true* Decepticons in the theater all cry, "HAIL GALVATRON!" And on the upper balcony, Galvatron appears with a small retinue, waving graciously to the assembled Decepticons below, smiling almost amiably. "Greetings, Decepticons. I, your Lord and Master, am proud to bring you another work from our... hmhm... "esteemed guest" Michael Bay. It is a glorious movie called 'Hero of an Empire,' regarding the tale of Snapshot," He pats the shoulder of one of the Decepticons in his retinue, a Decepticon that appears to turn into a car. He seems a bit awkward about all of this. "...who kept an Autobot squad pinned in Magnaron for thirty solar cycles! This movie celebrates his courage and heroism. So, enjoy, and be inspired by his achievements!" There's another round of Hail Galvatron's as Galvatron sits down, then the Decepticons all take their seats as the movie begins. Oddly, it's in black and white, but as Galvatron advertised, it features a Decepticon sniper making utter fools of an Autobot squad. Modified Exo-Armor moves as fast as he can without causing too much noise and heads towards the projection in the back. Barricade actually hails along with the Decepticons, so as to blend in, but he's going to hate himself in the morning. :(<> Stalker reports. <> Hot Shot throws his arms in the air and cheers, "JaAm! JaAm for the JaAmlord!" A pause. "HAIL GALVATRON!" Canadicon, meanwhile, stays silent and continues to creep toward the screen. Thrust relaxes in his seat and actually behaves quietly. He ponders the movie and simply decides it is best to not make a noise. <> And with that, 'Barricade' turns and *jogs* behind the screen. Runover will do what is necessary to fit in with the others. He hails Galvatron as well, though it galls him. He is standing way in the back, having very nearly come in late, and looks about quickly upon receiving Stalker's report. He is in the worst possible position. Blades sits impatiently in his seat, he has since passed the exorbitant amounts of concession goods to the Decepticons around him, leaving himself only with some sort of beverage for Cybertronian consumption. He noticed 'Canadicon' getting out his seat earlier, as difficult as that was and lost sight of the little fellow once he had gotten close to the walls towards the screen. The Protectobot rolls his optics as Galvatron continues to spout propagenda to his audiences, however he follows suit in clapping his hands in applause as soon as the people in the backrow begins applauding as well. Canadicon quits with the sneaking and just runs behind the screen. Now that Barricade, who is a big fellow, has run behind the screen, no one is going to care what the little cassette is doing. (In Canada.) And behind the screen... is Michael Bay! Sort of. The poor guy just doesn't look he used to. He's emaciated, and clothed in tattered rags and tape reels. In one trembling hand, he holds a Pepsi can. In the other, he's holding what looks like a Casseticon-sized plasma torch. He grins deliriously as he waits for the right moment, jittering, giggling, and mumbling to himself. Meanwhile, Galvatron is having himself a laugh as Autobots are being shot to shreds on-screen. "Haha, right in the eye! I bet that hurt! Oh, oh, you're almost safe, Autobot! OHHH! Not quite, hahahaha! This movie is wonderful! Hmhahahaha!" After noticing that some of the new recruits are running around, Thrust shouts from his seat. "Hey! Down in front! Or back. Get out from behind the back of the screen!" He readies his weapons and clicks on his radio. Barricade transforms into his Red Alert mode. From Modified Exo-Armor , Aramasu Hikage moves away from the projection booth so the other Autobots can intervene and recover Michael Bay. The exo-armor moves silently along the wall and towards the back of the room so that all the Decepticons have their backs turned to the ninja. A quick glance in the direction of the door which might be needed in a hurry. Modified Exo-Armor moves away from the projection booth so the other Autobots can intervene and recover Michael Bay. The exo-armor moves silently along the wall and towards the back of the room so that all the Decepticons have their backs turned to the ninja. A quick glance in the direction of the door which might be needed in a hurry. Canadicon whispers, very softly, "Egads! We don't have plasma torches... in Canada! Everyone knows our weapon control laws only authorise plasma torches in case of bears. I am afraid I'll have to confiscate that, sir, eh." He makes a lunge at Michael Bay, trying to grab the plasma torch away, because the man looks delerious and like he need a shower and an IV drip more than he needs a plasma torch. Thrust tilts his head and relaxes back into his seat. It seems like Galvatron will end up cannoning him for ruining the movie tonight. He sighs and ponders inspecting the commotion but sits still for a minute more. Then, just as Snapshot is delivering a stirring pro-Decepticon speech, he is replaced by Michael Bay's face, which looms large on the screen. "HI, Decepticons. Yeah, it's me, Michael Bay. The human you KIDNAPPED against his wiil, and forced to make TERRIBLE movies that I would never make under my own free will!" Somewhere, Roger Ebert is laughing disdainfully. "But now..." Michael Bay brings a Pepsi can to his lips with a trembling hand, and pours the contents onto his face. Some of it makes it down his mouth. "...this FALLEN director will have his REVENGE!" Then, the on-screen Michael Bay begins to laugh maniacally! Behind the screen, the real Michael Bay is about to set the plasma torch to the reels of film in front of himself (did I forget to mention he has a big stack of nitrocellulose films behind the screen?) when Canadicon tackles him! "NO! NO! I was so close to having my revenge! Dammit, why do you Decepticons always ruin my life!" "I'll go get 'em," Runover tells Thrust, "buncha punks. You stay here. Don't worry...I'll straighten em out!" He produces his rifle and heads back behind the screen. Hot Shot ooohs and ahhs over the movie at entirely inappropriate points, and he points at the screen and eventually murmurs, "Him Autobot have jaAm in eye! Hah hAh hAA! Waaaait. What this?" Canadicon suggests mildly, "Please, sir, remain calm. If you will examine my contract as a Decepticon-Canadian citizen, you will see that I am legally obligated to ruin your life... in Canada!" Hmm, maybe someone should get those films away before they accidentally get set on fire in the struggle? "Because that's what we're here for!" Barricade proclaims as he looks down at Michael Bay. He turns and looks over as Runover approaches, then up at Galvatron. "We've stopped him, boss," he looks around the room, then twitches faintly. "I claim the right of- well, I, erm... if it pleases the Emperor, I'm thinking those of us who caught him should be allowed to punish him!" Thrust spits as he hears Barricade talk. "Huh?" He then snarls, "Recruit, Decepticons do not think. They do. They do not suggest to Galvatron what they earned for an award. Galvatron suggests. Also, Galvatron punishes; not us!" Galvatron flies into a rage once the big face of Michael Bay mocks him! "WHAT IS THIS? How dare Michael Bay mock me!" Then, he kind of sort of makes out someone talking to him behind the screen? "You stopped him? Excellent, bring Michael Bay to me! I will flay him alive MYSELF for this insult!" Most of the Decepticons in the audience are cringing, justly fearing a random shooting spree from their leader. Red Alert shoots Thrust a DIRTY LOOK. He also doesn't move the flammable materials - maybe someone else should. But instead, he looks up at Galvatron and looks rather contrite, and suggests, "But, uhm, Lord Galvatron, if he's flayed, wouldn't he have a rather hard time finishing your movie CORRECTLY?" Blades raises both optical ridge in shock as he observes the rather disturbing footage of Michael Bay, then he spies 'Runover' getting up. It doesn't take any more leads for him to put it all together. The Protectobot quickly vacates his seat and quickly goes to join the other Autobots. "Not to mention, what are you going to do with the sequel, Lord Galvatron?" The situation is escalating rapidly...This will not end well unless someone does something stupid to attract attention elsewhere. Hikage keys his radio <> Thrust looks at Galvatron, "I suggest we punish let our Liege punish Michael Bay and we shall capture some Junkions to finish the rest of the movies. I am sure that Junkette that flirts with the stupid Seekers would love to do some work on film!" Galvatron frowns. "Finish the movie properly? Sequel? Well... until Michael Bay inserted HIMSELF into his movie, I must confess it was somewhat enjoyable." He scratches at his goatee. And yes, Galvatron totally has a goatee. Look at his face some time. "Hm... very well. You may punish him as you will, but first... Thrust? Cut of one of Michael Bay's fingers. I'm sure he only needs so many to do his work." Meanwhile, Michael Bay is being held helplessly under the much heavier Canadicon. "I hate Canadians!" he spits. "THEY ARE NOT AMERICANS!" Runover finally takes initiative and pushes the pile of flammable materials out of the way. He wants to comfort Bay, tell him they are the Autobots and that they are he to rescue him (despite being a little short for Storm Troopers.) But he worries that, in his obviously fragile mental state, the put-upon director might announce their secret to a room full of Decepticons and Galvatron. "Please be calm, Mr. Bay," he says, his voice still distorted. He then produces his Autobot sigil and puts a finger to his mouth to tell Bay to keep quiet. Michael Bay's mouth makes an "O" for a moment before he begins to sob. "I... I... heheheh! Heheheheh!" Thrust smirks, "Lord, why don't we remove an arm and clone him into a perfect obedient subject instead? We can add in cyborgenetics so we can control him!" Galvatron smiles, snapping his fingers. "Thrust, what a brilliant idea! Did you get a CPU transplant or something? No matter--see to it that it's done!" Red Alert looks around at the others. He attempts to catch the eye of every ROBOT IN DISGUISE in this room. Looks like... looks like they're going to have to just grab the guy and run for it. Thrust nods, "Runover, amputate a limb from Bay. I will then quarterize the remains and we will have Soundwave finish the cloning!" Thrust smiles and looks at Runover, "Well, what are you waiting for?" Nightbeat tries to grab Micheal Bay, sling him over a shoulder, and again replies mildly, long suffering, "And, as a Canadian, I am much too polite to say what I really think of you, sir." He ducks behind the screen as dismemberment is discussed, awaiting the ninja's plan. Canadicon tries to grab Micheal Bay, sling him over a shoulder, and again replies mildly, long suffering, "And, as a Canadian, I am much too polite to say what I really think of you, sir." He ducks behind the screen as dismemberment is discussed, awaiting the ninja's plan. Runover tilts his head, frowning. He holds up his right arm and his fist slips up to be replaced by a burning orange energo blade. Of course he isn't going to amputate a limb, but he feels he has to look like he's going to. "Let's set the fuel on fire," he whispers, "and escape in the chaos. It may be our only option." Modified Exo-Armor aims his forearm-mounted crossbow at Thrust and gets ready to disengage the active camouflage from his exo-armor. Time slows down like in M. Bay movies...Each noise, each voice deafening...he mumbles and sings on the radio <> Thrust pulls out his rifle, "Well, Runover, are you going to do what you are asked to do or do I have to assist Galvatron in injuring you? I don't want that to be the case. I think you're a stand up mech!" Galvatron scowls. "Wait, where are you taking the human? I want to SEE him get amputated!" Beside him, Snapshot fidgets, clearly uncomfortable with being in such close proximity to an angry Galvatron. But who can blame him? The poorly disguised Protectobot inches his way onto the stage where Galvatron, Michael Bay, and the other disguised Autobots are standing. As the situation grows worst and worst with each and every recommendation that Thrust suggests to Galvatron, Blades mutters to the Autobots gathered around him, minus the one still sitting in the seat and the one behind the screen still, "Hey... I know this wasn't part of the plan, but I think it's clear they got us up against the wall now. Cover your optics, and... try not to demote me for this, eh? I'm already as low as I can get on the pecking order." Blades spins around with his photon pistol gripped tightly and points it at Galvatron and the Decepticon audiences behind him, "Lights out, buddy. We're taking our hack director out of here." Well... that wasn't exactly the best snappy one liner that Blades has come up with, but don't blame him, he never was the brightest tool in the shed. The Protectobot squeezes the trigger on his photon pistol, unleashing bright, warm and fuzzy light within the darkened room. Galvatron is still on the balcony overseeing the theater, but he is nevertheless blinded by the flash of light! "AAARRRRRGHHHH! What treachery is this!?" he screams, and begins to discharge his cannon in random directions. One blast punches through the screen and hits the ground perilously close to the pile of nitrocellulose films! Canadicon yelps and decides to just try to book it for the exit, carrying Michael Bay, if the wily film-maker doesn't escape him. Fusion cannon blasts are not his cup of delicious Tim Horton's coffee. Meanwhile, Hot Shot starts to cry, "Where jaAm? Where jaaaaaAM?" just to add to the commotion and confusion. From Modified Exo-Armor , Aramasu Hikage looks away when the flash happens and drops the cloaking device. Aiming his forearm-mounted crossbow roughly where the nitrocellulose films are stacked. With some luck the armor-piercing explosive charge will light them up. *TWANG* The bolt effortlessly pierces the screen and explodes behind it. Modified Exo-Armor looks away when the flash happens and drops the cloaking device. Aiming his forearm-mounted crossbow roughly where the nitrocellulose films are stacked. With some luck the armor-piercing explosive charge will light them up. *TWANG* The bolt effortlessly pierces the screen and explodes behind it. Combat: Suddenly, Modified Exo-Armor appears out of thin air! "Oh, the colors! The colors! The ---" Thrust's optics stay wide open as he begins to lose his vision for a bit. He quickly begins to open fire at where believes targets are. But just as he takes his aim, Galvatron's random firing strikes Thrust! Runover hurries his comrades off the stage as Aramasu's explosive bolt ignites the nitrocellulose. "Make haste, friends!" He transforms and opens his gullwing doors, offering to carry Michael Bay out himself. Fairway drops forward onto his fists while his torso spins and his legs fold inward. His hood tilts up, head flipping back to disappear beneath it, and his arms lock into place at his sides. With a familiar, five-tone sound, Fairway transforms into a DeLorean DMC-12! Michael Bay seems rather compliant now that he recognizes who's carrying him! And yet, it seems so unreal to be saved after such a long time! Once Runover pops open his doors, Michael Bay will be sure to run in as soon as Canadicon sets him down. And once Aramasu's bolt hits the stack of films, there is a loud FWOOOOOSH! as they all go up into flames! The intense flame quickly spreads to the screen, and from there, to the curtains, and from there, to the ceiling and the walls. Meanwhile, blinded Decepticons run around, yelling and smashing and shooting! And once Aramasu's bolt hits the stack of films, there is a loud FWOOOOOSH! as they all go up into flames! The intense flame quickly spreads to the screen, and from there, to the curtains, and from there, to the ceiling and the walls. Meanwhile, blinded Decepticons run around, yelling and smashing and shooting! Canadicon considers that Nightbeat is currently pretending to be a raving moron named Hot Shot and has a bucket for a head. So it's an easy choice. When Fairway makes the offer, Canadicon all but pushes Michael Bay, inside, and Canadicon admits, "I'm not really Canadian. But I do like doughnuts!" That, however, is a detective stereotype as well as a Canadian stereotype, so it works both ways. "Ooooh smeg, it doesn't look like I made the situation any better!" Blades hollers out in excitement as Galvatron and various other Decepticons' weapons fire fills the air, a few of which narrowly misses the side of his head. He finally notices Aramasu's presence, damn that's one sneaky ninja, and calls out, "Hey, you still remember the fastest route to get the hell outta dodge?!" The Protectobot leaps off of the stage just as the screen is consumed by the fiery blaze behind it. Blades pushes a Decepticon out of his way every so often as he sprints towards the exit at the back of the room like a fat man trying to get to a $0.99 All you can eat buffet. Red Alert generically runs away with the others. "What's a doughnut?" Michael Bay moans as he is shoved into the DeLorean. Modified Exo-Armor nods at the Protectobot and motions the door on his left near the back of the projection room. The Talon grabs a generic seeker sitting in the back by the wings and tries to twist them which send the poor guy off balance and out of the way. "Everybody out! Go go go! Hajime!" DeLorean peels out and roars toward the exit as the chaos begins. Flames consume the screen, weapons fire fills the air, and there is a great clattering of Decepticon feet and voices. "A doughnut," he says, "is a backed confection shaped like a ring which may or may not have filling, frosting, or sugary decorations called sprinkles. Perhaps, Mr. Bay, when we have escaped this blaze, you can have one. I hear they are quite delicious." All this he says while navigating through the clamoring hordes, ramming whatever Decepticons get in his way in his mad rush for the exit. Canadicon promises, "I'll buy you one once we escape!" Hot Shot tries to stumble along after the other Autobots, but his bucket-head falls off! Sighing, Canadicon transforms and become Hot Shot's head. Hot Shot tilts to one side and cycles a blink, muttering, "I think /I'm/ Canadian now." He shakes himself and just runs. Galvatron continues to scream and rave as he blindly fires at everything in the room. He hits several gumbies, he hits Snapshot, and he probably hits Thrust again, thus adding greatly to the pandemonium swirling around in the theater. Thrust takes another cannon shot to the face from Lord Galvatron before he falls to the floor! Blades pushes and shoves his way over to towards the exit the Aramasu had pointed out, all the while firing an occasional beam of warm and fuzzy blinding light into the face of a few unknown Decepticons when it looks like they might be shaking off the effects of his earlier blind, "Hey, we did remember to turn off their defense networks, right?" The Protectobot squeezes through the door and out of the path of some of his other comrades who intends to turn the doors into roadkill, "I don't want to think that they can make our ride out of here tragically short..." Modified Exo-Armor runs with the group using some form of aikido to harmlessly move aside mechs that are in his way. "I do not remember that being part of the plan because we expected ot get out like we came in...quietly. This might yet prove to be an interesting escape Autobot-San." DeLorean races toward the door, windshield wipers on. "I don't think we had much time to do so, friend," he says, "We were busy with our ruse, unfortunately. Though I do strongly hope thay disabling their defenses shall prove non-essential." Almost miraculously, the gates to the secret Australian Decepticon base open on their own! "Hey, guys!" one of the sentries from earlier says as he steps into view. "Is there a fire or something?" Modified Exo-Armor passes the Sentry on the way out "Yes a big fire, I think Lord Galvatron is trying to get out via the back door. Can you go check up on him?" Blades sneers as he watches the gate ahead of him are opened by the sentries, as if it was some terrible deus ex machina plot point to bail out the unlikely heroes, but this can't possibly be since this is real life and deus ex machinas are just the stuff of fiction, right? The Protectobot briefly considers the idea of gunning down the Decepticon gumbies ahead, but realizes that there are a whole lot of guard posts in the area as well, and being trigger happy will probably invite further mishap. Instead, Blades adopts a more intellectual method of doing things. He hollers out to the Decepticon gumbies, "Hey! HEY! The theater is on fire with Lord Galvatron inside it! We need people inside to help put out the fire before everything is ruined!" DeLorean is through the door before he even has time to realize how or why it has opened. He doesn't slow down once he gets out in the open. "What now?" He asks this of any Autobots near him. "It won't take long for them to regroup." Hot Shot, now reunited with his head, just runs for it, as if he was already on fire (flame paintjob aside), and he shouts, "Fiiiiire!" That should keep the Decepticons busy for all of 10 seconds. As soon as he is outside the exo-armor transforms into jet mode in order to try and attract some attention away from the fleeing ground based Autobots. Modified Exo-Armor transforms into its Modified Exo-Armor Jet mode. Modified Exo-Armor has left. The sentry shrugs at Aramasu. "Uh, ok. Huh, why do you look like an exo-suit? Maybe it's still Halloween! Ooh, but I better check on Galvatron!" The sentry runs into the Decepticon base, which turns out to be a bad move, because it soon after EXPLODES! Blades follows after Aramasu Hikage's example and swiftly transforms to join the EDC resident super ninja. Blades leaps into the air, expanding and reconfiguring his body structure into a Sikorsky S-76 Spirit helicopter within seconds.============================ Reports =============================
Message: 9/89 Posted Author Michael Bay Rescued Thu Nov 05 Galvatron MICHAEL BAY RESCUED FROM DECEPTICONS Well-known director now struggles to put his life back together and cure his addiction to Pepsi In a joint Autobot/EDC operation today, the well-known director of several blockbuster movies, Michael Bay, has been rescued from the clutches of the Decepticons. The Decepticons had kidnapped him with the intent of forcing him to create propaganda movies, although some Decepticon experts suggest that, given that the movies he made were allegedly terrible, the Decepticons may have actually been using the movies he made as a form of psychological warfare against the Earth. According to Australian police, Michael Bay spent most of his free time alone in a cell, brought out only when the Decepticons needed him. The Decepticons did not apparently understand the dietary needs of a human, giving him vast quantities of Pepsi to drink, but no food. This forced Michael Bay to devour whatever rats or cockroaches strayed into his cell. Not only that, he was not supplied with any changes of clothing, meaning that he was eventually reduced to wearing rags, and he had no facilities with which to bathe himself. The lack of contact with humans and horrific living conditions drove Michael Bay insane, and eventually he conceived a plot to strike back at his captors. He tricked the Decepticons into delivering large quantities of nitrocellulose film--a flammable film which has long been rendered obsolete by safer film types--to him, claiming that it was superior to any alternative, and then built up a massive stockpile of the films. Then, on the premiere night of an important Decepticon propaganda film, he spliced into his film footage of himself mocking the Decepticons, then set his stockpile on fire,* intending to burn his tormentors to death. Fortunately, the Autobot/EDC coalition saved him from the inferno, which eventually destroyed the secret Decepticon base. The blockbuster director has said that he will attempt to piece his shattered life back together, and is currently enrolled in an addiction treatment program to cure him of his addiction to Pepsi soda. Then, he vows, he will resume making movies "for the good of humanity." As for his captor and tormentor, Galvatron, he is believed to have been killed in the explosion that destroyed the same secret Decepticon base in which Michael Bay had been incarcerated. (John Dunn's rescue is mentioned in the backpages. Apparently making a super mirror doesn't put you in the same league as a movie director.)
* (OOC: It was actually Aramasu Hikage that set off the films, not Michael Bay.) ==============================================================================
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