The discovery of the body and the corpse's role in each episode follow very strict rules, the main Bones rules being:
* The discovery usually takes place in a a park or in a K-Mart parking lot, close to that picnic table where the employees go in order to smoke a cigarette or two and eat a cold lunch. Sometime the employees will even bitch-talk about their clients or their boss and rest longer than what they are allowed to. When it is cold outside, the employees hide in the restrooms.
* No main character shall find the body, only nameless bystanders you will never see again.
* The body is always in a Lindsay Lohan-like state, rarely without the usual slimy green or brown goo flowing abundantly from what is left of it.
* Larvae, shaggy carpet fibers, animal feces and dust on
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| - The discovery of the body and the corpse's role in each episode follow very strict rules, the main Bones rules being:
* The discovery usually takes place in a a park or in a K-Mart parking lot, close to that picnic table where the employees go in order to smoke a cigarette or two and eat a cold lunch. Sometime the employees will even bitch-talk about their clients or their boss and rest longer than what they are allowed to. When it is cold outside, the employees hide in the restrooms.
* No main character shall find the body, only nameless bystanders you will never see again.
* The body is always in a Lindsay Lohan-like state, rarely without the usual slimy green or brown goo flowing abundantly from what is left of it.
* Larvae, shaggy carpet fibers, animal feces and dust on
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| opentheme
| - Composed and performed by drunk people
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| Genre
| - Police procedural
- Real crap
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| Language
| - Who knows, Australian maybe
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| Num episodes
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| num seasons
| - more than you need to watch
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| abstract
| - The discovery of the body and the corpse's role in each episode follow very strict rules, the main Bones rules being:
* The discovery usually takes place in a a park or in a K-Mart parking lot, close to that picnic table where the employees go in order to smoke a cigarette or two and eat a cold lunch. Sometime the employees will even bitch-talk about their clients or their boss and rest longer than what they are allowed to. When it is cold outside, the employees hide in the restrooms.
* No main character shall find the body, only nameless bystanders you will never see again.
* The body is always in a Lindsay Lohan-like state, rarely without the usual slimy green or brown goo flowing abundantly from what is left of it.
* Larvae, shaggy carpet fibers, animal feces and dust on the body are not optional or else Dr. Hodgins would be an useless character.
* One body only is found during the episode, except when the victim was gay and had many lovers or when the victim had a siamese twin. The victim is never an animal (or at least not a full breed dolphin and/or red haired boy).
* Racial, religious and sexist crimes do not even exist in this television series.
* The murder has to be original and very imaginative; the murderer must use any kind of unusual and ineffective weapons, from frozen piglets to random decorative poles and jug of deadly lava. Those two aspects of the murder are necessary: in order to create a good episode, the corpse must look funny and must have died in a horrible but silly way so the viewers can make fun of tragedies without feeling guilty and ashamed of doing so.
* The victim must have some little dirty secrets in order to be killed or else the investigation would be boring.
* Every murder and investigation must be themed: the theme must by childish and irritating (example: a dead body found in a barn would lead to tedious discussions about farming and crops between Dr. Bones and Agent Booth, plus guest appearances of numerous NASCAR superstars. As for a Valentine’s day themed episode, the killer would be a fat man in diaper and the victime would have been choked to death with her eatable underwear.)
* The victim must remain mostly anonymous and, when it's identity is revealed, the series' main characters must still treat the victim like shit and mock it. Again, it is so the viewers can make fun of tragedies without feeling guilty and ashamed.
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