About: Kentuckistan Fundamentalist Chickens   Sponge Permalink

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The KFC was formed in 1952 by a small group of frustrated and angry chickens on Eugene W. Caldwell's small farm outside of Mud Sink, Arkansas. The fact that the organization took the name Kentuckistan Fundamentalist Chickens instead of the Arkansas Fundamentalist Chickens was quite puzzling to Southerners until it was pointed out to them that chickens are not terribly smart and likely have no concept of State, territory or even land for that matter.

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  • Kentuckistan Fundamentalist Chickens
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  • The KFC was formed in 1952 by a small group of frustrated and angry chickens on Eugene W. Caldwell's small farm outside of Mud Sink, Arkansas. The fact that the organization took the name Kentuckistan Fundamentalist Chickens instead of the Arkansas Fundamentalist Chickens was quite puzzling to Southerners until it was pointed out to them that chickens are not terribly smart and likely have no concept of State, territory or even land for that matter.
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  • The KFC was formed in 1952 by a small group of frustrated and angry chickens on Eugene W. Caldwell's small farm outside of Mud Sink, Arkansas. The fact that the organization took the name Kentuckistan Fundamentalist Chickens instead of the Arkansas Fundamentalist Chickens was quite puzzling to Southerners until it was pointed out to them that chickens are not terribly smart and likely have no concept of State, territory or even land for that matter. On the morning of September 12, 1952 the "Secret 11" (the original name of the organization), staged a coup inside their coop, managing to imprison Eugene inside a cage so small that he couldn't even turn around. The group gained notariety when "Taters" Huckabee stumbled upon the rowdy rabble while making his morning moonshine delivery to the Caldwell farm. He barely escaped with his life. "Taters" later recalled the incident as the most terrifying spectacle he ever set his eyes upon. In a 1974 interview, "Taters" said: "Taters" called the Hogswamp County Sheriff's Department who quickly converged on the scene supported by federal authorities. The Sheriff was able to wrestle Eugene away from the chickens and restore order at the farm. Eugene was promptly transported to Our Lady of Mud Sink General Hosptital where he died on the operating table when the surgeons mistakenly preformed a botched sex change operation instead of giving him the ice pack and aspirin that he sorely needed. No charges were filed against the "Secret 11" because as Sheriff Wittaker said, "You can't put handcuffs on goddam chickens!" The "Secret 11" claimed a major victory for chickens everywhere and soon became darlings of the liberal media. The group decided that since they had been on the news, they could not rightfully call themselves "Secret" any longer and quickly changed the name of their group to the Kentuckyistan Fundamentalist Chickens in reference to their staunch religious belief in fundamental Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
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