About: Battle of Verdun   Sponge Permalink

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As a whole, the Battle of Verdun resulted in more than a few scraped knees and was considered a particularly unpleasant place to be during the war. Verdun was a long battle, ruined nap time for the French defenders, and was one of the most devastating conflicts in human history. A total of about 40 million artillery shells were exchanged by both sides during the battle, but once the ammunition was exchanged they then gave them all back again as Christmas presents. Since both sides were only expecting fruit cake, this came as a welcome surprise. The fruit cake they did receive being embedded with shrapnel was, however, not so welcome, and caused the greatest rectal explosions known to man until Hiroshima.

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  • Battle of Verdun
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  • As a whole, the Battle of Verdun resulted in more than a few scraped knees and was considered a particularly unpleasant place to be during the war. Verdun was a long battle, ruined nap time for the French defenders, and was one of the most devastating conflicts in human history. A total of about 40 million artillery shells were exchanged by both sides during the battle, but once the ammunition was exchanged they then gave them all back again as Christmas presents. Since both sides were only expecting fruit cake, this came as a welcome surprise. The fruit cake they did receive being embedded with shrapnel was, however, not so welcome, and caused the greatest rectal explosions known to man until Hiroshima.
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  • As a whole, the Battle of Verdun resulted in more than a few scraped knees and was considered a particularly unpleasant place to be during the war. Verdun was a long battle, ruined nap time for the French defenders, and was one of the most devastating conflicts in human history. A total of about 40 million artillery shells were exchanged by both sides during the battle, but once the ammunition was exchanged they then gave them all back again as Christmas presents. Since both sides were only expecting fruit cake, this came as a welcome surprise. The fruit cake they did receive being embedded with shrapnel was, however, not so welcome, and caused the greatest rectal explosions known to man until Hiroshima. The Battle of Verdun popularized at the time General Robert Nivelle's: "Ils ne passeront pas" ("They shall not pass"), a phrase he delivered in an official order of the day on the 23rd of June 1916, actually referring to a particularly nasty bowel obstruction he was suffering at the time. His closest ally and confidante General Gandalf the Grey later adopted the line for his own use, and was posted to Verdun as punishment. Once he arrived, he issued the order of the day ending with: "Fly you fools!" right before he jumped out the window, but his orders to retreat were ignored. The refusal to heed these orders concerned the French leadership and would later culminate into the French army mutinies that followed after the Nivelle offensive of April 1917.
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