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| - The Fascist State of Flinzenburg is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Adele Hitzig with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.62 billion Flinzenburgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources." Flinzenburg is ranked 131,864th in the world and 5th in The Fascist Military Powers for Most Primitive, scoring -81.24 on the Scary Big Number Scale.
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| abstract
| - The Fascist State of Flinzenburg is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Adele Hitzig with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, otherworldly petting zoo, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.62 billion Flinzenburgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources." The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Northwater. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.5%. The frighteningly efficient Flinzenburgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,035 trillion Crilones a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 184,260 Crilones, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest. Universities are populated by the spawn of the upper classes, the state has declared war on the environment and environmentalists by association, children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, and roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flinzenburg's national animal is the Spotted Hyena, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism. Flinzenburg is ranked 131,864th in the world and 5th in The Fascist Military Powers for Most Primitive, scoring -81.24 on the Scary Big Number Scale.
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