| abstract
| - Narrator: One day, at the city library… Ms. Dewey: Now then, since I am the city’s chief executive librarian, it is my job to show you the ropes. (pauses) And there they are! Ms. Dewey: That’s where people wait in line when they check out books! Milt: Oh, I get it, that’s funny. Miss Dewey, you can’t teach me anything about velvet ropes that I haven’t already learned at the Librarian Academy. Okay? Ms. Dewey: Milt, you’re sounding a little arrogant. Now any more questions? Milt: Yeah, uh, just one. Who is-- (looking at a document) --Becky Botsford? Because according to my list here, she has thirty-seven books checked out, all due back before closing time today! Ms. Dewey: (laughing) You don’t have to worry about Becky Botsford being overdue. She’s borrowed thousands of books from us and she’s never been late. Milt: Maybe so… but if just one of those books comes back late, I’ll slap an overdue fine on her so fast it’ll make her library card spin! Milt: Right in my pocket. Narrator: Meanwhile, across town at the Botsford’s… Becky: (reading) “Fair Thee Well, young stallion. For you are free now.” Ahh. What a perfect narrative. Becky: (shouting) Dad, we’re ready to go to the library now! Mr. Botsford: Coming, Pumpkin! Becky: Whoa, what’s the barbecue brush for, Dad? Mr. Botsford: Well, before we return your library books, we’re going to make a quick stop at the bookstore so I can get this baby autographed by Raul Demiglasse! Becky: Who? Mr. Botsford: The famous chef from TV! Mr. Botsford: You mean you never heard of his cooking show, “If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen”? Ha-ha-ha-ha. Becky: Oh, Bob’s not allowed to watch cooking shows anymore, since he licked the TV. Mr. Botsford: Well, I don’t blame you, Bob. Raul Demiglasse is the best chef on TV and he’s reading from his new cookbook at Libri’s Bookstore this afternoon. Becky: But we can head to the library after that, right? Because they’re only open until five. And if I’m late, they’ll be overdue. And I’ve never been late or overdue. Never. Never. I can’t do it. Mr. Botsford: Oh sure thing, Pumpkin. We will get you to the library before they close. Mr. Botsford: Oooo, wood panels basement! Are those all due back today? Becky: Yep, it was a light week. Raul: Yuck! You call this food? Where’s the fresh cheddar cheese? Where’s the garlic salt? Where’s the Sha-ZAP? Raul: Oh, Joe! Are you gonna cry now? Joe: (wiping his eyes) No… uh… I... Raul: If you’re gonna cry, then I’m sorry, you gotta… GET OUTTA THE KITCHEN! Raul: Folks-- those of you who watch my show on TV know that I, Raul Demiglasse, am very, very famous. Not just for cooking, but because I can make anyone cry. Some cry because they love my food, some cry because they can’t make their food like Raul makes it. But hey, it’s like I always say-- If you can’t stand the heat… Everyone: (together) Get out of the kitchen! Mr. Botsford: Yeah-he-he-he-hea! Becky: I don’t know, Dad. Raul seems like kind of a bully! And he’s so arrogant! Mr. Botsford: I know! Isn’t he great? Becky: Uh, no, Dad. Arrogant means to be a show-off, to act like you think you’re better than everyone else. Mr. Botsford: I just hope he likes my sauce brush. Raul: Now who wants to meet the best chef in the whole wide world, eh? Mr. Botsford: Ooh! Now’s my chance. Back in a jif, you kids stay here. Wow, this is awesome! Becky: Look at that line! I hope we make it to the library before they close. We only have two hours! Butcher: Pardon me, excuse me! Butcher: Hey, I was savorin’ that place in line! Becky: (gasps) The Butcher! What’s HE doing here? Milt: There she is again! There she is AGAIN! You know, I’ve been looking in the jackets of all these books, and Becky Botsford has checked out almost every one of them. There must be thousands. And you say she’s never been overdue? Ms. Dewey: Becky Botsford is the kind of girl that makes me proud to be a librarian! Milt: You know what makes ME proud to be a librarian? (picks up his rubber stamp) Catching people like Becky Botsford when they turn in overdue books. No one gets special treatment! As soon as the clock strikes five, she’s going down! With my stamp-- right here! Overdue! Narrator: Meanwhile, back at Libri’s Bookstore.. Raul: Sha-Zap! Who’s next? Butcher: Ha, uh, greenerings, Raul! My name is The Butcher, and uh… Raul: Yeah, yeah, I’ll sign to Mister-- Raul: --Oh wait a minute, where’s my book? You did buy my book, right? Butcher: N- no, but I’m a big fan. And, I was hopin’ you could try my beef stew-nami! Raul: Oh, oh, everybody wants me to try their dish, okay, here’s how it works, buddy. You buy my book, I sign the book. Sha-Zap. Okay? Boom. Next! Butcher: Na-- Nah, nah, look, if you could just try my stew-nami, I- I think you’ll find-- Raul: Hey! You buy my book, or get outta the kitchen! Butcher: Look! Would you just try the stew, already? Raul: I don’t like it! Butcher: But you didn’t even taste it! Raul: Oh what, are you gonna cry? Butcher: Hey! Cut that out! Raul: I think somebody can’t take the heat! Am I right, folks? Mr. Botsford: Yeah! What’s gonna happen?? Butcher: I’m warnerin’ you! Raul: Maybe you should get out of the-- Butcher: PASTRAMI ATTACK! Raul: Pastrami? Butcher: Yeah, that’s right, champ! And neither of us is gettin’ out of any kitchen, until I make somethin’ you like! Even if it takes all day! Got it? Becky: All day? But the library closes in thirty minutes! What are we gonna do? Milt: Tick, tock, snickety-snock, twenty-five minutes to five o’clock! Is today the day Becky Botsford joins the ranks of the overdue, Ms. Dewey? Ms. Dewey: She WILL be here by five! (whispering to herself) I hope. Milt: We’ll see. Narrator: Back at the bookstore, the Butcher’s diabolical taste test is well underway. Butcher: (holding a steak) Down the hatch! Raul: No! Butcher: Here comes the choo-choo train! Raul: Never! Becky: Okay. It’s okay. Get it together. New plan. I’ll transform into WordGirl and find a way to take down the Butcher. You sneak out, get those books from the car, and get them back before closing time. Okay? Becky: Okay! Good plan! Word UP! Mr. Botsford: Oh! Excuse me, WordGirl. WordGirl: Dad! I mean, Mr. Dad. I mean,, Mr. Botsford. Hello. Mr. Botsford: Say WordGirl, I’m looking for my daughter Becky. She’s about your age, your height, your hair color… WordGirl: Maybe she’s in the classics section? Mr. Botsford: Thanks for the tip! (walks off) WordGirl: Sure thing! Word-- Mr. Botsford: Oh, me again. One last question. Is that Captain Huggy Face out there breaking into my car? WordGirl: Oh. Raul: Your corned beef needs more Sha-Zap! And your pot pie is too bland! Butcher: You’re not gonna make me cry like those people on TV, Raul! Raul: Oh, no? Try my own beef stew. Sha-Zappy! Butcher: You think you’re so great! But you’re just glarrogant! WordGirl: Hold it right there-- both of you! And the work is arrogant, not glarrogant. I’m calling off this taste test so I can return my librar--ew-- so we can all go home! WordGirl: Huh? Narrator: They don’t want to leave. I guess they’re having too much fun! WordGirl: This is fun? Mr. Botsford: It totally is! It’s just like the end of Raul’s TV show. Raul and the challenger each make the same dish, and then a judge does a blind test to decide who’s the winner! Raul: And I always win! And then the loser, he cries! Butcher: Well, we both made beef stew. So we can use that for the taste test. WordGirl: Great, then! So is there anyone out there who would like to eat a large amount of beef stew? WordGirl: Tex Connelly's Beef Stew in a Can? Raul! You were cheating! Butcher: These white flecky things… they’re-- (sniffs) --RAW ONIONS?! WordGirl: Raw onions make you tear up! So THAT’S how Raul has been making everyone cry! Raul: Uhh… Sha-Zap? Butcher: I don’t know what I ever saw in you, Raul! I think my homemade recipes are ten times more Sha-Zap! Mr. Botsford: I can’t believe I almost let you sign my sauce brush! Joe: I want my money back! Raul: Um, uh-- gettin’ out of this kitchen! Butcher: So WordGirl, do I win the cook-off? WordGirl: Um, sure, why not? Butcher: Hooray! WordGirl: Great entrance, Huggy! Right on time! WordGirl: (gasping) Time! Time! Five minutes to five? Oh no, the library books! Oh, we have to go! Word UP! Becky: Dad! Mr. Botsford: Becky! There you are, you missed all the-- Milt: Oh! What does Mr. Clock on the wall say? T-minus two minutes to closing time, and thirty-seven books still checked out. Sounds to me like a recipe for overdue fines! Ms. Dewey: Becky’s never let us down, she’ll be here! (She looks up at the clock with concern.) I think. Milt: Well, I guess I’ll just lock the door and get out my rubber stamp that says “OVERDUE”! And I’m gonna put some fresh ink on there, there you go. Ms. Dewey: (whispering to herself) Come on, Becky! Milt: Oh, no, ma’am. Becky: Not-- Overdue! Becky: (catching her breath) I’m here! I’m sorry to cut it so close, Ms. Dewey, it’s just you see my dad had this barbecue brush, and he really wanted to get it signed by this crazy chef, and then the Butcher was there,and he was like, “Try my stuff,” and the chef was like, “No way,” and-- ohh. They were really good books. Milt: Oh, n-- how-- nnngh! Okay, well don’t you worry, because there will be a day when Becky Botsford IS overdue, and I will be here waiting! Me… and my rubber stamp. Narrator: And so, the plans of the arrogant, the dangerous and the just plain silly have once again been foiled by WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face! And don’t forget, if you have a yearning for fun and adventure, you just may be overdue for your next episode of-- WordGirl.
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