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| - Jaina felt him coming long before his footsteps carried along the durasteel deck plates, or his voice cut into the silence. “Mind if I come in?” She swung her pilot’s chair around to face Jagged Fel, a smile on her face. He had once again donned the standard black Chiss uniform with red piping, and looked dashing leaning against the doorframe. “You’re here just in time to help me launch her on her maiden voyage.” Jag studied the ship around him, intelligent eyes surveying the repairs and improvements. Jaina had found time during the months at war to mend the ship Padmé had bequeathed her on her birthday, and only now was it in a condition Jaina deemed satisfactory. Everything had been polished and shined, and really it had made a striking vessel. “What’d you decide to name her?” he asked. Jaina’s smile broadened. “The Heritage.” His eyebrows lifted in appreciation. “A fitting name, considering the circumstances.” “I thought so,” she laughed, then turned back to face the controls. She reached out and patted the chair beside her. “Come on, take a seat. Let’s see what this thing can do.” He obliged, watching her hands move deftly across the controls. They gained clearance from the Pillory, and soon she had edged the Heritage out of the bay and into open space. Her face was frank with delight as she tested the limits of her ship, pushing it to full speed and sending it into a tumble of different maneuvers. It handled them all beautifully. “Impressive,” he remarked, after watching her pull out of a particularly difficult turning climb. “The Nubians knew how to build a ship.” “That they did,” she smiled, his approval meaning more than he would ever know. With a flick of her wrist she set it on autopilot, which let it drift aimlessly through space. They sat in appreciation of the view, and each other, for several long minutes. Jag was the one to break the easy silence. “I came here to ask you something, Jaina,” he said at last. Jaina turned to look at him, the strong chin and square shoulders she had come to adore. Those green eyes sparkled with something she couldn’t define. “What is it?” He stared at his lap a moment, then lifted his gaze to meet hers. She felt her throat constrict before the words ever left his mouth. “The Chiss are deploying back to the Ascendency tomorrow. I’m going with them.” Her hopes had been high, for what she wasn’t quite sure, but his words squashed them flat. She felt a tight knot of despair roll around in her stomach. “So soon?” He shrugged uncomfortably. “It’s been over a week. They need us there much more than here.” Jaina kept her mouth shut, just staring out at the stars. She felt hollow, empty. She suspected she would be feeling like that the rest of her life. He watched her a moment, then said, “I want you to be there when we leave. I don’t want to go without seeing you.” “All right,” she breezed, trying not to sound completely destroyed. This time the silence they lapsed into was tense and awkward. Her thoughts kept repeating the same melancholy things over and over again. She imagined a future without him, and realized it would be bleak indeed. She knew she was very young to make such a decision, but Jaina couldn’t imagine ever letting another man into her heart the way Jag had worked his way into hers. She wanted to hold their love forever, preserve it unchanging and unsullied. If that took never knowing a family or loving again, then so be it. Jag was a different story. She didn’t want that for him. No, she wanted him to be happy, with or without her. She visualized him married one day, with children of his own, and tears welled up in her eyes. He would forget her quickly enough. He was a handsome man, he wouldn’t stay single for long. She was glad for him, truly, but the thought of being replaced in his heart almost killed her. “Jag,” she whispered at last, fighting terribly against the tears and losing, “I want you to promise me something.” His hand moved to take hers, squeezing it a little tighter than necessary. “Anything.” She thought she saw tears of his own gathering. “Someday, a long time from now,” she hiccupped, unable to hold the sorrow in, “when you’re old and gray, and watching your grandkids play in the backyard,” at this they both chuckled a little, finding the scene hard to imagine, “every once and a while think back and remember me. And remember that once upon a time, we were happy together like this. That I could make you happy, too.” Her voice ended in a high pitched squeak, strained. “Jaina…” he started, but didn’t seem to know how to finish. She could see conflict waging in his mind, stirring between one set of words and another. She decided to save him the trouble. “It’s okay,” she sighed, wiping at her eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” He seemed to deflate a little, which she took to be relief, but could have just as easily been disappointment. “Okay,” he whispered. There really wasn’t anything else to say. There was no way the Chiss would accept her after what she had done at Nirauan, and there was no way she would ask him to give up his home, family, and career to stay with her. So that was that. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known it would end up that way. She just hadn’t known it would hurt that much. Jaina turned to look at him one more time. He was gorgeous, he really was. Every woman’s dream. Noble and strong and brave. And she loved him so much. But he would be gone soon, and she would probably never see him again. She would never know the feeling of waking up in his arms. She would never know what it was like to give herself to him fully, to let go and allow the passion that had plagued them run its full course. She would never know. Something inside her broke over that, like waves on the sand. It just wouldn’t do. No, she needed that memory to carry her through, to keep her warm in the lonely nights ahead. It was too late to try not to get hurt. She might as well enjoy it in what short time she had left. In an instant, Jaina made a life decision. She leaned forward and put one hand behind his neck, pulling him close. They kissed, and Jaina didn’t hold back. Neither did he. He tugged her out of her seat and onto his lap, straddling the seat, torso to torso. She could feel every inch of him, they were so close. The same desperate need claimed them, an insatiable hunger no longer willing to be kept at bay. Jaina pushed out all thoughts of tomorrow and just kissed him, letting the sweet taste of his lips and tongue carry away her despair. Abruptly she pulled back, just far enough for them to break the kiss. She leaned down, panting, forehead pressed against his. In a soft voice she said, “Make love to me. I don’t want to let you go without knowing how it feels.” Jag’s eyes were solemn and loving, their hearts in complete accord. He nodded once, then swept her out of the seat and carried her back to the bedroom.
* * * Some time later, Jaina buried herself further into the smooth surface of his chest, inhaling the masculine scent. She was exhausted, body and soul, and wasn’t sure she could ever be any more satisfied. His arms around her, legs woven together in a human tapestry, it was hard not to surrender to blissful sleep. But she fought it every inch of the way. She didn’t want to go to sleep, because she knew when she woke up it would be all over. Jag shifted in light slumber, nuzzling the top of her head where it was tucked beneath his chin. Jaina committed it all to memory, knowing it would be their one and only time. Their first and their last. She wished she could say it was better that way, like one of those sad, romantic holodramas, but she couldn’t. He stirred again, and she felt him come awake slowly. She tilted her head up to look at him, and found him staring back down at her. “Hey there,” he whispered. Jaina smiled, stretching forward to kiss him softly. “Hey yourself.” “What time is it?” he asked, blinking away sleep. Jaina rolled over to look at the chrono on the bedside table. “0100 hours Contruum time.” She turned back to him, dreading what was coming next. “People are going to wonder what we’re doing out here,” he grinned at her playfully. Jaina smiled back, and snuggled closer into his embrace. “Let them.” His knuckles ran gently up and down the ridge of her spine in a loving caress. “I think the problem is they might guess right.” Jaina laughed quietly, sincerely amused. “Just as long as my Dad doesn’t figure it out.” “From what I’ve seen, I think he’s too busy making up with your mother,” Jag chuckled. Jaina felt herself redden, but didn’t have any ammunition against that. They had been so relieved to find each other alive and the conflict over, her parents had forgotten the strife between them and decided to make up for lost time. And, unfortunately, had made no attempts to hide it. “I guess in this case that’s a good thing.” He continued to hold her for several more minutes, all of which she reveled in, and then groaned, “We probably should go back, Jaina. I have to ship out in five hours.” And there it was, reality crashing back down over her head. Jaina sighed. “You’re right. Let’s go.” They dressed slowly, and the trip back to the Pillory was a subdued one. Both of them seemed to understand the significance of their parting. It would be the last time they could be alone together. The fairytale was at its end. They parted on the Heritage with a lingering kiss, and Jag went back to his rooms. Jaina hung around a bit longer, toying with her ship. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, anyhow. After fiddling with just about everything she could think of, Jaina left the bay and headed to the MedCenter. Just as she had predicted, Padmé was sitting up in her bed, wide awake and watching the Holonet. The old woman had been keeping strange hours since her accident, and in this case Jaina was glad. She desperately needed someone to talk to. Padmé looked up as she entered, and a bright smile spread across her face. “Jaina! What are you doing up so early?” Jaina shrugged, pulling the guest chair close to her grandmother’s bed. “Couldn’t sleep. How are you feeling?” “Healthy as a gundark,” she growled. “I wish to goodness they’d let me out of here already.” Jaina couldn’t help but smirk. “From what I hear, you only have a few more days. They just want a couple more bacta dips under your belt to make sure everything’s working okay.” Padmé dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “I’m fine. It’s Luke and your mother. They’re worrying themselves to death over me. I’ve never seen two people be fussier over something so silly.” “Padmé,” Jaina chuckled, “you were shot! You almost died. If it wasn’t for Jacen, you would have. I think that gives them a free pass to worry in this situation.” Her grandmother still didn’t seem to agree. “It doesn’t matter, in any case. I’m stuck and that’s that. Tell me what’s been happening with you.” She paused a moment, and when Jaina didn’t immediately respond she said, “I hear the Chiss are pulling out tomorrow.” Jaina felt her heartbeat quicken. “Yes. I heard something about that.” “Have you and Jag said your goodbyes?” Jaina stared at her, dumbfounded. “What—how—?” “Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You two are dreadful actors,” Padmé laughed. “So out with it. How are you holding up?” Just the simple mention of it made fresh tears form in Jaina’s eyes. “I love him. I don’t want him to leave me, Padmé.” It was the first time she had admitted it out loud, not even to Jag. Padmé nodded, as if she had expected as much. “Have you told him that?” “Well,” Jaina stammered, “no, but I don’t see what good it would do. He’s got a whole other life I can’t be a part of—” “Jaina,” Padmé lifted one hand, a stern tone to her voice. “Take it from someone who knows. When it comes to love, risks are very worth taking. What’s the worst that could happen? He leaves anyway? What have you got to lose?” “I, well, I don’t know. I just don’t want to be the reason he loses everything.” “What if he would rather lose it all and keep you?” “Then he should have said so,” Jaina snapped a retort. Her grandmother’s words were bringing up all the laden fears inside of her. What if he didn’t reciprocate? What if he did, but resented her later? “Why do you expect something from him, when you’re so unwilling to do the same thing? Ask him to stay, Jaina. You’ll regret it the rest of your life if you don’t. And I wouldn’t wish that on you.”
* * * 0600 hours rolled around much quicker than Jaina would have liked. The feeling of dread had grown with each passing moment until she thought she would explode with it, and standing in the hangar waiting for him to arrive she thought she just might actually do it. Or at least throw up. She had almost decided not to come, to leave their goodbye as it was, but didn’t have the heart to disappoint him. All around her, Chiss pilots were loading their fighters for the final takeoff. Almost all of them seemed to be happy at the prospect of going home. There were even laughs and good natured slaps on the back from the usually stern species. There were no regrets on their part. Jaina wished she could say the same. “Jedi Solo. So nice of you to come see us off.” Jaina turned in place, fixing a plastic smile on her lips. “Thank you, Colonel. It’s the least I could do.” Jag looked especially handsome that morning, his flight suit hugging in all the right places. And for once, Jaina didn’t need to wonder what was underneath. He stepped forward, matching her smile, looking just as sick at heart. “No, thank you for being here.” Jaina stared at the floor a moment, pulling herself together, the raised her head. “I hope your flight is pleasant.” “Thank you,” he nodded, then grinned at their tradeoff. There was a pause. “Give my regards to your family, especially Padmé.” “I will,” she promised. They just looked at each other, so many things to say and no way to say them. At last Jaina could take it no longer. Her knees felt like they would give way any second. “I guess this is it, then.” “I guess so.” He hesitated, then leaned forward and pulled her into an embrace. Jaina hugged back with all her might, pressing her face against him and inhaling deep. He let go all too soon, stepping away from her and towards his clawcraft. His green eyes were empty of fire and life. “Clear skies, Jaina Solo. I’ll never forget you.” “Clear skies,” she whispered, feeling the water gathering once again in her eyes. He smiled at her for the last time, then turned and walked away. It wasn’t until that very moment that the true impact of it hit her. That was the last time she would touch him. There would be no more. It was the end. All this she had known, but knowing it and experiencing it were two very different things. She watched his retreating back and Padmé’s words echoed up from somewhere within. Jaina finally understood. She found herself taking a step forward, and then another, and suddenly his name spewed from her lips, “Jag!” He turned immediately, as if he had been waiting for her to stop him. She was in his arms instantly, throwing herself against his chest and holding on with all her strength. Right then she knew she would do anything to convince him not to get in that ship and fly away from her. If it took getting down on her knees and begging, Jaina no longer cared. “Don’t leave me. I love you, Jag, I love you so much. I can’t do this. Stay with me, stay here. I love you. I love you. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Her tears stained his uniform. His arms tightened around her, lifting her feet right off the floor. He kissed her then, right out in the open for everyone to see. When he set her down he said, “I didn’t know you wanted me to stay.” Jaina laughed through her sobs. “How could I not? Please Jag. Please don’t go.” He kissed her again, and Jaina loved every second of it. “Marry me,” he commanded. Jaina was taken suddenly aback at the question. She hadn’t expected that at all. But really, what was she to say? It wasn’t much of a decision. “Okay,” she whispered, gasping for breath like she had just run a marathon. They kissed a third time, giving it all they had. When they broke for air, both of them wore smiles a kilometer wide. “I love you,” he whispered. “And we’re not going to let this go.” She nodded emphatically. It sounded like a plan to her. He tossed a glance over his shoulder and said, “I have to go.” Jaina’s sudden elation dwindled into nothingness. “What? I don’t understand, you just asked me to marry you, and now you’re leaving?!” “I have to go now. I have to go home and explain this to my family, to resign my commission formally, in the proper way. I want to do it right, Jaina. Do you trust me?” he gripped her shoulders tightly with both hands, looking deeply into her eyes. She stared back and decided, yes. Yes she did. “I do.” “Then wait for me,” he ordered, a desperate edge to his voice. “It might be weeks, or even a few months, but I’ll come back. I’ll come back to you, and then we’ll get married, and I’ll be the happiest man in this galaxy. Will you wait for me?” Jaina slowly nodded her head. “Yes.” They kissed one final time, making it count, making it last. It would have to carry them a long time. “I love you,” she whispered against his neck when they were done. “I love you, too. I have to go now, Jaina,” he slid partially out of her embrace. “I’ll see you soon.” She managed a smile, wiping at the vestiges of tears. “Soon.” He paced back from her, smiling the whole time until his face disappeared beneath his flight helmet. She watched him climb the ladder to his fighter, and the hatch close over his head. He waved one gloved hand at her from behind the viewport. Jaina waved back. Spike Squadron slowly roared to life, and one by one they filed out of the open hatch. Jaina waited until his ship disappeared into the starry sky, but the despondent outlook of only a few hours ago had been replaced with something much better: hope. It wasn’t the end at all, she now understood. It was just the beginning.
* * * Jacen watched his sister from the observation deck several floors up, an odd sort of satisfaction in seeing her happy with the Chiss pilot. She had found something real, and was going to milk it for all it was worth. He wished every love story could have such a happy ending. His, for example. But he supposed the defining difference was that with Tenel Ka, there was no true love, only the possibility of it. That possibility may haunt him for the rest of his days, but there was precious little he could do about it. Tenel Ka could not leave her throne, and he could not live the life of a Hapan noble, even if they would allow her to be with someone like him. It was better to stay apart and save themselves the hurt of tomorrow, while they could still separate with minimal damage. So it would never be, and perhaps the mystery was better than any reality they could have had. He wasn’t going to fall into depression over it, in any case. He wished Tenel Ka the very best of happiness, and he fully intended to find his own. Because it was out there somewhere, waiting for him. He just needed to figure out where to look.
* * * Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker stood on the deck parallel from Jacen, on the opposite wall, watching the same scene unfold. To Mara, it was no great surprise. Luke seemed a little out of sorts seeing the intense display of affection from his niece, but she had faith he would get over it. He always did. “I’m happy for her,” she said after a bit, and truly she was. She had not expected things to end nearly so well. Luke came to stand beside her, one arm around her waist. “So am I. She deserves a little happiness.” “You know who else I think deserves some happiness?” Mara asked. “Han and Leia?” “I was going to say us,” Mara snorted, “but yes, them too. How are they, by the way?” “Doing well,” Luke smiled. “They’re almost all set.” “I’m going to miss them,” Mara sighed. “It won’t be the same.” “No, but a little respite on Corellia will do them a world of good. Plus Chewie gets to go visit his family on Kashyyyk. It works out well for everyone,” he smiled. “And besides, with her training complete, there’s no real reason to stay. Coruscant holds nothing for them anymore.” Mara shrugged her agreement. “I guess knighting her was the right decision.” “There’s no more she needs to know to be considered a Knight,” Luke responded. “Becoming a Master is something she’ll have to decide she wants.” “I think she’ll travel that road eventually,” Mara mused. “It’d be hard not to, with all that Skywalker blood.” Luke laughed softly. “I guess so.” “Speaking of Skywalkers,” she rotated in his embrace, wrapping both arms around his neck, “I think it’s time to tell you we should be expecting a new addition to the family.” Luke’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Who?” Mara rolled her eyes. “Farmboy, I really wonder at you some times. I’m pregnant, Luke.” It took a second for her words to register in his mind, and then a surge of euphoria bubbled up inside him. “A baby? We’re having a baby?” “We’re having a baby,” she nodded, her smile glowing. He was at a loss for words, nothing in any language to describe his exultation. So instead he picked her right up off the floor, twirling her around and laughing like an idiot. “We’re having a baby!”
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