abstract
| - Alan explains to Charlie the night he had with Judith, leaving Charlie confused, thinking Alan would be happy. The two of them don't want Jake to know about this incident, so Charlie pretends they are thinking of sending him to military school, which frightens Jake, and he goes to do his homework. Alan goes over to Judith's to break off their new relationship, but after having a nice dinner and wine, he has sex with her. Charlie encourages Alan to move back in with her, saying he can go tonight, which makes Jake think they are talking about him. Charlie makes Jake do many chores, including getting him beer, cleaning the garage, washing his car and cleaning the deck, all by threatening him with military school. Herb invites Charlie to join him with a few prostitutes, which he doesn't refuse. The two go with the women to his train track filled apartment. Feeling nervous, Herb offers them a Snapple, and then starts crying. Feeling shameful, he leaves to go declare his love for Judith. Charlie then puts on a conductor hat and says to the women "all aboard." Alan and Judith are kissing, then they get into a fight about the way they kiss. This leads Judith to hate him again and go back to Herb. A few weeks later, Judith and Herb go to Charlie's house to drop off Jake, who tells them that Judith is pregnant, leaving Alan speechless. Jake questions this and Charlie replies by saying that Alan is doing math in his head. Jake claims this as "a bitch".
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