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| - Kickassia: Part 6: All the Really Bad Shit Happens Nostalgia Critic: "Three little maids from school are we! Pert as a school-girl well can be! Filled to the brim with girlish glee! Three little maids from school! Everything is a source of fun! Hahahahahahahaha!" NC: What the hell?! Linkara Patton: Excellent shot, Mr. Joe. Except for the fact that you missed. Fire again! Linkara Patton: Critic. You magnificent bastard, I read your book! Nostalgia Chick: Oh, that's a shame. NC: Oh, thank God you're here. Joe and Linkara have gone insane with violence! DESTROY THEM UNTIL THEY ARE NOTHING BUT RUBBLE! NC: Didn't you hear me? ANNIHILATE THEM! NC: *crosses his arms* Do I have to start paying you so I can cut your wages? 8 Bit Mickey: REVOLUTION! Benzaie: Get him, Beary! Beary Bear: Oui oui, mon ami! Linkara: I love it... God help me, I love it so... Benzaie: BEARY! OH MY GOD! NC: Pfft. Get out of the way, pipsqueakEEEE! NC: So, you like being 3D? Lee: Oh, yes, I do. NC: Well, tell me how THESE feel. NC: Who'd a thought a dictatorship would be so one sided? *He drops down a little, avoiding a swinging bat.* AH! NC: Phelous. After all the good ideas I came up with for you! Phelous: *angrily* Shut up! Just SHUT UP! NC: Et tu, Film Brain? Film Brain: Sorry, Critic. But you shot one Santa Christ too many. NC: Oh, you're such a twerp. Film Brain: YOU'RE A TWERP! NC: So, you've all been plotting against me. You know, I really expected Kickassia to kick a little more ass than this! I'm VERY disappointed in all of you. Cinema Snob: You have indeed been hanging out with the wrong crowd, Critic. NC: Cinema Snob. How DARE you return from your... banishment-dom! Cinema Snob: That was the old order. THIS is the NEW order. NC: *timidly* ...New order? Cinema Snob: Yes. One that's been coming to you for a long time. Cinema Snob: Weren't you Dr. Insano? Spoony: Eh, I got better. 8 Bit Mickey: *riding in on Handsome Tom* The age of Kickassia has come to an end, Critic. A new age lies before us. Bennett the Sage: An age without YOU. Linkara Patton: It's okay, we got him! His body is spread out over... *He notices the Critic.* ...Oh. Phelous: You've had your fun running this country, Critic. Well, now it's our turn. And the first rule of order? A move for a medieval ass-kicking of our old president. All in favor? Whole Team (minus the Critic): AYE! Phelous: All opposed? NC: *Very timidly* Nay. Phelous: Motion passes! *He lets go of the Critic.* Have fun everybody! NC: WAIT! I have an idea! Phelous: Really? What is it? NC: ...The idea... involves, uhm... Phelous: You... NC: ME!...Uhm... Phelous: Getting... NC: GETTING! ...Uh, uh.... Phelous: Your ass kicked! NC: MY ASS KICKED! ME GETTING MY ASS KICKED! ...No, wait. Phelous: Too late! ATGWTG: Hold it! MarzGurl: What do YOU want? ATGWTG: Oh, nothing. Just wanted to make my cameo. Bye! NC: I didn't even get... my rocket chair... Paw: It's over! The evil Critic is defeated! Angry Joe: Revolution! A new dawn is upon us! The uprising has begun! HAHAHAHAHA! Baugh Family: Mmmhmm... Nostalgia Chick: Well done, everyone. Well done. Now, seeing as how "I" am next in line for the presidency, it's only fitting that I should wear the crown. Nostalgia Chick: You'll refer to me as Madame President from now on. Bennett the Sage: Wait a minute. This whole cutesy, naive thing was all just an ACT?! Nostalgia Chick: Yup. JewWario: You're not really that nice? Nostalgia Chick: No. Benzaie: You're really not that stupid? Nostalgia Chick: Uh uh. But what I can tell you is this: That "I" am the new rulenatrix of Kickassia. And there are gonna be some new rules around here. Cinema Snob: Excuse me, but it was MY insight that overthrew this government. So I think that it should be "I" who's taking over as acting president. Linkara Patton: Bad news, I'm afraid. Since I was the one who orchestrated this operation, it is obviously "I" who should be president! Nchick: Uh Uh. I didn't put on that false cutsey crap for three straight- Linkara Patton: Look, lady. That hat is mine! AHH! Santa Christ: Ho ho ho! Lee: Santa Christ?! Santa Christ: That's right! On the third day, I rise again! In fulfillment of the awesomeness! Ho ho ho! Film Brain: SANTA CHRIST! It's so good to see you! *He rushes forward and gives Santa Christ a big hug.* Nostalgia Chick: Hey, wait a minute! Uhm... Why did it take you three days to come back? Why didn't you just do it right away? Santa Christ: Ho ho! Oh, I'm sorry. Have you ever been dead before? Nostalgia Chick: No. Santa Christ: Have you ever risen from the grave? Nostalgia Chick: Guess not... Santa Christ: Well then, I guess you don't really have any sort of frame of reference now, do you? Santa Christ: That's okay. Here! Have Othello! Nostalgia Chick: Oh my God! I love this game! Santa Christ: I know! Ho ho ho! Santa Christ: Listen, this task wasn't any of yours to take, now, was it? Aren't you happy with your online shows? Aren't you glad people actually give a crap about what you have to say? Santa Christ: What do you say we get back to that nice Mr. Baugh fellow? It was HIS place originally, after all. Paw: Well, he's right. Let's give Mr. Baugh his land back. Angry Joe: FREEDOM! Wondrous freedom! Shine and bask in the glory of your new world! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy Baugh: ...What? NC: Oh, no you don't! *Holding up a detonation device.* Need I remind you that there are 20 tons of dynamite under this nation?! Cinema Snob: Uh, joke's on you, moron. I disconnected the dynamite after I left. You push that thing and nothing happens. NC: ...I don't believe you! I push this button and we all get blown SKY HIGH! NC: Very well. For the honor and all of KICKASSIA! NC: *weakly* .....Kaboooooom! NC: Hello. Uhm... Because my team can't run a nation---*MarzGurl nudges him* Because "I" can't run a nation, we've decided to give the nation back to you. So, you can own... Molassia again. Fritz Von Baugh: But it was never mine to begin with. NC: Oh, Christ! Alright, you know, when you "SEE the president," you know when he "shows up," can you tell him Molassia is his again? Fritz Von Baugh: I will relay the message. NC: Yeah, you do that, you twat. *As he and the team walk away* Why the fuck did I want this place anyway? God damn waste of time. Narrator: And so, all are departed away. The great shroud of the desert rolls over the nation. Good night, you Princes of Mayhem, you Warriors of Virtue. The beauty of the world, the paragon of warriors. NOW is the winter of their discontent. Did they not learn that it was theirs to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Did they not discover that diamonds are forever or tomorrow never dies? Did they not recall the old Klingon proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold? Did they not learn as conquerors once before that all is fair in love and war? NC: No. THE END
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