OMGWTFBBq -- 11:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC) Don't worry, this will be done soon... I am just filling Prose in right now. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Warm 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Regards, BlueBlueVioletBrownBurlyWoodCadetBlueChartreuseChocolateCoralCornflowerBlueCrimsonDarkBlueDarkCyanDarkGoldenRodDarkGreenDarkKhakiDarkMagentaDarkOliveGreenDarkorangeDarkOrchidDarkRedDarkSalmonDarkSeaGreenDarkSlateBlueDarkSlateGreyDarkTurquoiseDarkVioletDeepPinkDeepSkyBlueDodgerBlueFireBrickForestGreenFuchsiaGoldGoldenRodGreenHotPinkIndianRedIndigoLightCoralLightSalmonLightSeaGreenLimeLimeGreenMagentaMaroonMediumAquaMarineMediumBlueMediumOrchidMediumPurpleMediumSeaGreenMediu
| Attributes | Values |
|---|
| rdfs:label
| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Moron sees Moon for first time
|
| rdfs:comment
| - OMGWTFBBq -- 11:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC) Don't worry, this will be done soon... I am just filling Prose in right now. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Warm 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Regards, BlueBlueVioletBrownBurlyWoodCadetBlueChartreuseChocolateCoralCornflowerBlueCrimsonDarkBlueDarkCyanDarkGoldenRodDarkGreenDarkKhakiDarkMagentaDarkOliveGreenDarkorangeDarkOrchidDarkRedDarkSalmonDarkSeaGreenDarkSlateBlueDarkSlateGreyDarkTurquoiseDarkVioletDeepPinkDeepSkyBlueDodgerBlueFireBrickForestGreenFuchsiaGoldGoldenRodGreenHotPinkIndianRedIndigoLightCoralLightSalmonLightSeaGreenLimeLimeGreenMagentaMaroonMediumAquaMarineMediumBlueMediumOrchidMediumPurpleMediumSeaGreenMediu
|
| dcterms:subject
| |
| Mcomment
| - Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines
|
| Pcomment
| - I feel that I have already gone over prose in Humour and Concept, which tends to happen whenever I do a review… but MEH. Here is what I believe could be added…
:#Categories
:#Links to other articles
:#Improve the formatting structure.
Point three is where I am going to get a bit deeper. Some parts sound iffy, an example being “Police finally understood that the UFO was nothing…” which is inconsitant with later, when you state that the officer “took a look at the object for a second” Contiuing on from the “took a look” sentence, “second and claimed to control, the mystery had been solved” The placement of the comma in that sentence feels way off, and the usage of the word “claimed” also seems a bit odd. At the moment, I would say this article is borderline Proofreading Service, and if you do rewrite this article, I would recommend a revision from said service.
|
| Icomment
| - I honestly don’t really know what to blabber about in this particular section. You had one picture that was relevant to the article in discussion, so I honestly cannot say it was a bad picture. At the same time, I was, somehow expecting a bit… more. What I am thinking was modifying the picture to have a small, but still noticeable “smudge” on the bottom, resembling a UFO, combined with the change in caption “The moon, mistaken by some idiot to be a UFO. The little light underneath it does not exist.”
|
| Pscore
| |
| Ccomment
| - I felt a bit lenient in this particular subject not as much due to the UnNews, but due to the actual article provided as the “source”. I am more than sure that you understand why it is funny to hear of a man mistaking the moon for a UFO, which is why your source had me rolling on the ground . The article itself was… not as interesting, but has huge amounts of potential.
I remember, in a review I did a long time ago, stating that an UnNews is the hardest article to write in a humourous fashion, a comment that I still stand beside. In an UnNews, unlike a mainspace page, you can’t just throw in randumb crap and pass it off, you have to make it feel real, a sense that wasn’t much conveyed. The “Idiot” in question seemed… just a bit too monumentally stupid . What I think you could do has already been mentioned, expand the article, make your own, look at HTBFANJS, and feel free to snip off whatever is not funny.
|
| Cscore
| |
| Mscore
| |
| Hcomment
| - Right… I bumped Concept up to the top because I think this is the most important part of this particular article. I will say, honestly, that the concept feels a bit… off. While I do understand the sheer mind numbing stupidity of the caller in question, this article is, first and foremost, merely a rewrite of the original article. While nothing is really wrong with rewrites, they tend to have a lack of humour as their main unifying factor. Instead of just having a transcript of a faked call, you could put something along the lines of “Police were called to the home of the Village Idiot to investigate the presence of a luminous flying object located above his home.” Regardless of this, I think you will be pleased to see the next score…
|
| Iscore
| |
| Hscore
| |
| Fcomment
| - This article is definitely worth keeping, but regardless, could use a bit of improvement. The only thing that got this article into the lower 30’s was the “source”, but that can be fixed!
:#Rewrite the article, don’t just misquote it
:#Take a review of HTBFANJS. No, you are not stupid, it’s just the name for a guideline
:#Consider my suggestion under Concept.
:#Consider the suggestion outlined under Image
This article is definitely one worth keeping, and one that I did not have a problem reading and enjoying. Thank you for the good read over dinner. Have a great day!
|
| dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
| |
| Signature
| - Warm Regards, ▀ĴαVắśСąР▀03:00 July 5 2008
|
| abstract
| - OMGWTFBBq -- 11:26, 4 July 2008 (UTC) Don't worry, this will be done soon... I am just filling Prose in right now. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Warm 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>Regards, BlueBlueVioletBrownBurlyWoodCadetBlueChartreuseChocolateCoralCornflowerBlueCrimsonDarkBlueDarkCyanDarkGoldenRodDarkGreenDarkKhakiDarkMagentaDarkOliveGreenDarkorangeDarkOrchidDarkRedDarkSalmonDarkSeaGreenDarkSlateBlueDarkSlateGreyDarkTurquoiseDarkVioletDeepPinkDeepSkyBlueDodgerBlueFireBrickForestGreenFuchsiaGoldGoldenRodGreenHotPinkIndianRedIndigoLightCoralLightSalmonLightSeaGreenLimeLimeGreenMagentaMaroonMediumAquaMarineMediumBlueMediumOrchidMediumPurpleMediumSeaGreenMediumSlateBlueMediumTurquoiseMediumVioletRedMidnightBlueNavyOliveOliveDrabOrangeOrangeRedOrchidPaleVioletRedPeruPurpleRedRosyBrownRoyalBlueSaddleBrownSalmonSandyBrownSeaGreenSiennaSlateBlueSpringGreenSteelBlueTealTomatoVioletYellowGreen>▀ĴαVắśСąР▀ 1. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF>01:34 2. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF> July 5 3. 0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF0123456789ABCDEF> 2008
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)