I really tried to focus on the advice that ChiefjusticeDS gave in his review the first time around. I find that I am much happier with the article after making some of the changes suggested and may even be able to get off my depression medication now. -- 15:59, June 4, 2010 (UTC) I'll do it today. InMooseWeTrust 09:58, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
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| rdfs:label
| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Epic Beard Man (resubmit)
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| rdfs:comment
| - I really tried to focus on the advice that ChiefjusticeDS gave in his review the first time around. I find that I am much happier with the article after making some of the changes suggested and may even be able to get off my depression medication now. -- 15:59, June 4, 2010 (UTC) I'll do it today. InMooseWeTrust 09:58, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
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| dcterms:subject
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| Mcomment
| - Add some categories, and maybe some more "See also" and "Trivia" sections to add to the overall humor.
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| Pcomment
| - You make a lot of little grammar mistakes. For example, you italicize the quotes AFTER already putting them in quotation markts. You forget possessives. You don't use hyphens. If you use Firefox, it spellchecks things for you .
Keep everything consistently in past tense when referring to the situation, and everything in present tense when describing the video.
Just like in English Wikipedia, you don't use title case when writing titles of subsections.
"He continues to rain down massive rights to the black man while the whore who is filming screams about Rodney King." I don't get it...
Black Man is angry. The black man is angry. See the difference?
There is a lot more to correct, and I know I didn't get everything. Well, you can figure out the rest or get it done by someone else.
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| Icomment
| - There's nothing terribly exciting about these pictures. I mean, they're not BAD or anything, but they don't really stand out or add to the effect much.
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| Ccomment
| - I like the overall concept of you satirizing the Epic Bear Man incident, but it seems like you held back a lot on the humor. There's way more you can do with this article, especially in the racial and spaz departments.
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| Hcomment
| - Pretty good with the gangsta humor, and racial implications that go along with it. Look to the Wikipedia article, and see if you can satirize more aspects of the situation.
The quotes are unfunny. In fact, you're probably better off sticking some Oscar Wilde, Captain Obvious, etc. quotes at the beginning of the article and replacing the racial section with... well... you can figure it out. Yeah.
Templates like and are also very good to have because they add to the interconnectedness of the article. To further this, you can also search for more things that you can link to with this article.
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| dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
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| abstract
| - I really tried to focus on the advice that ChiefjusticeDS gave in his review the first time around. I find that I am much happier with the article after making some of the changes suggested and may even be able to get off my depression medication now. -- 15:59, June 4, 2010 (UTC) I'll do it today. InMooseWeTrust 09:58, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
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