| abstract
| - Mike Newton is an insignificant human, who is actually very sweet and nice to Bella on her first day in high school (which is usually a living hell for most teens, but not Bella, since she's speshul.) but she couldn't stand someone who was actually nice to her, so she compared him to a dog. Mike is one of the few characters in Meyer's books with -drum roll please- personality! He had the potential to be a great character, but was instead used as one of the many boys drooling over Bella-Sue. He, like many kids at Forks High, is very kind and friendly to Bella on her first day at school. He tries to converse with her and make her feel welcome, and he shows signs of loving her, rather than lusting after her like Ed-Weird. She shows her bitchiness gratitude by thinking of him as a "golden retriever". He saves her butt from sports and PE and... just about everything else. Mike Newton is often the butt of Bella and the Cullens' jokes. Many times throughout the series, Bella and Edward joke about how Bella could be with Mike instead, and how he is inferior to Edward. This is very cruel bitchy pathetic hilarious. Now, we at Frozen Apples know what you -a logical human being- must be thinking. You are thinking, "Mike must have done something wrong. At one point, he must have been a dick. Why else would he be hated by Bella?" What did Mike ever do wrong? Nothing. Mike never did anything wrong except not sparkling in the sun and not being an emo. Oh, he did dare to be nice to Bella-sue but he got mentally insulted for it! Also, he is blond, which means that he is not to be treated kindly because he's secretly evil and bitchy... Right? We are sure that Edward harbors a secret love for him... If only he would express it! Mike is probably a generally nice person, but we'll never know since he is not Eddykins or one of the Cullens, or Bella, or an emo, or a pedo, therefore not relevant. Unless the Cullens are joking about him, then he's the life of the party! In some parts he points out Edward's creepiness, pointing out that Edward is well, creepy and that he looks at Bella like she's something to eat, which we know is accurate from his POV in Midnight Sun. But whenever Edward hears this he flies into a cold narcissistic rage and only keep from bathing in Mike's blood because he doesn't want Carlisle and Bella to dissaprove of him. The worst thing about Mike is that he *gasp* wants to have sex with Bella, whereas Edward, you know, wants to kill her and drink her blood. And just because he wants to have sex with her doesn't mean he doesn't view her as a person. In fact his repeated kindness towards her shows that he would probably be a caring and attentive lover.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)