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| - Tim’s Dad sends Eric a gift basket wishing him luck on the new show. Tim retaliates by having his dad praise him on camera, however Eric exposes a lie. Leif and C-Boy square off in Ex-Treme hackey sack, Dr. Steve Brule reports on fruits and vegetables, Casey and his Brother perform "Time Travel" on The Uncle Muscles Hour, Tim and Eric revive the old "Waiting Room" sketch, a new Cinco toy B'owl is advertised, and Tim makes a call to pest control about his bees and his disappointing son.
* 2. Friends
* 3. Cats
* 4. Sitcom
* 5. Chunky
* 6. Slop
* 7. Abstinence
* 8. Anniversary
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| abstract
| - Tim’s Dad sends Eric a gift basket wishing him luck on the new show. Tim retaliates by having his dad praise him on camera, however Eric exposes a lie. Leif and C-Boy square off in Ex-Treme hackey sack, Dr. Steve Brule reports on fruits and vegetables, Casey and his Brother perform "Time Travel" on The Uncle Muscles Hour, Tim and Eric revive the old "Waiting Room" sketch, a new Cinco toy B'owl is advertised, and Tim makes a call to pest control about his bees and his disappointing son.
* 2. Friends Eric sends Tim an ornamental hot dog after finding out he is dying of "Limp Lip." However, their friendship is torn apart by lies of soon death followed by soon death. Dr. Steve Brule celebrates 10 years in broadcasting with a surprise, Cinco advertises their testicular insurance, Pierre teaches children how to dance and scolds them for allegedly possessing rotten meat (which he is an active advocate against), and Tim and Eric write a jingle for Rolos which they attempt to pitch.
* 3. Cats Tim learns a new magic trick that runs him into some problems. This tears him and Eric's friendship apart. “Kid Break” shows children that it’s okay to sit down while they urinate, Tairy Greene teaches potential Gravy Robbers employees the best gravy robbing techniques, Tim draws free portraits on Hollywood Blvd., and Jaime Stevens returns home from his summer abroad with newfound powers in "Kitty Cat Man".
* 4. Sitcom Also known as Salame. Eric made the episode himself, which causes Tim displeasure. Tim later loves the tape and they make up to each other with the help of David Liebe Hart's knowledge. Steve and Mike Mahanahan advertise their child-clowns and child-clown shoe rental services, David Liebe Hart and his puppet Jason sing about the Korendians and meeting in the light, Tim and Eric give a seminar on how to build a successful sitcom writing career, and Tim and Eric's assistant Simon presents them various numbered elderly ladies in Here She Comes.
* 5. Chunky Carol's secret love for her insulting boss inspires her to lower her weight, but it ends in violence and secret love expressed through song. A new Cinco toy T'ird is advertised, Danny Mothers interviews Glen Tennis about his new film Crystal Shyps, Vernen performs ventriloquism with his potty-mouthed dummy Horsey, and Eric pulls a prank on Tim involving spiderwebs on the prank show Dumbellz.
* 6. Slop Tim and Eric’s "replacements" host the show. The Beaver Boys attempt to pick up some ladies, go clubbing, and enjoy shrimp and white wine. David Liebe Hart returns with a new puppet and song about staying in school, Tragg shows his viewers how to make some of his famous slop on his cooking show, Kid Break returns with a rap about wearing Dad’s dirty socks, and surplus media distributor Ken Tulley advertises his series of Fitness Can Be E-Z tapes and throws in some huge deals.
* 7. Abstinence Tim & Eric discuss their plan of replacing their crew with elderly men. However, they hate these old men and the inconvenience they cause. We get a glimpse of Pall Willeaux’s demonic nightmares as he appears in a Lazy Horse Mattress commercial, David Cross sings about abstinence to a locker-room porn star, Channel 5 provides live coverage of the No Sex Hot Dog Parade, Maria Bamford talks about skin care and her abusive mother, and Eric has some trouble with the computers at the Cinco Personal Banking Center.
* 8. Anniversary 50 years into the future the show celebrates its 50th anniversary hosted by Pat Dudley, but Tim and Eric haven't spoken to each other since an unfortunate stairway incident. Pierre teaches children how to meditate and asks for their dads' email address, Bob Odenkirk advertises an all-natural diarrhea inducer, Richard Dunn plays an improv game with himself in Dunn-Prove, and Cinco advertises their handy MIDI Organizer Filing System.
* 9. Hamburger Tim and Eric are late in delivering the episode to Williams Street and must rely on Hamburger Taxi to get the tape there on time. Dr. Steve Brule educates the Married News Team with a special report on stomach and digestion problems, Tim makes a call to a music store about his "uke" that keeps falling on his computer. Two men get in a fight over a car crash and settle it with a dance-off using their miniature Tim and Eric dancers, and Michael Q. Schmidt debuts his new "Raise My Roof" dance to win the Uncle Muscles Grand Championship.
* 10. Missing The Uncle Muscle's Hour is disrupted when Casey wanders off into the city. Eric talks about his collection of rascals on Nights with Tim Heidecker, which is interrupted by an Uncle Muscles Emergency Broadcast where Casey's Brother urges Casey to return to his Pep-Pep. Dr. Steve Brule delivers a report about modern fashion which results in tension between Jan and Wayne Skylar, and Cinco introduce the B'ougar which turns imaginary fears into real ones.
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