About: Chav/Nature   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

The chav can be found most commonly on council estates; run-down areas in good need of a decent firebombing e.g. Corby. Technically, they should be made into concentration camps as soon as possible, since they are pretty well squalid ghettoes to begin with. The chav will return to these at night to sleep, but spends most of its time in town with fellow chavs. In answer to the request of gassing all chav homes, George W. Bush declared war on chavs in 2005 for 23 seconds. Upon realising that he didn't know what a chav was and that they don't have them in America.

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  • Chav/Nature
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  • The chav can be found most commonly on council estates; run-down areas in good need of a decent firebombing e.g. Corby. Technically, they should be made into concentration camps as soon as possible, since they are pretty well squalid ghettoes to begin with. The chav will return to these at night to sleep, but spends most of its time in town with fellow chavs. In answer to the request of gassing all chav homes, George W. Bush declared war on chavs in 2005 for 23 seconds. Upon realising that he didn't know what a chav was and that they don't have them in America.
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abstract
  • The chav can be found most commonly on council estates; run-down areas in good need of a decent firebombing e.g. Corby. Technically, they should be made into concentration camps as soon as possible, since they are pretty well squalid ghettoes to begin with. The chav will return to these at night to sleep, but spends most of its time in town with fellow chavs. In answer to the request of gassing all chav homes, George W. Bush declared war on chavs in 2005 for 23 seconds. Upon realising that he didn't know what a chav was and that they don't have them in America. The County of Buckinghamshire in Southern England contains surprising numbers of chavs, probably due to the fact that Basingrad (the ancestral home of Burberry) is in Hampshire. Chavs are very much a cowardly species. It is due to this nervous disposition that they need to mark their territory by either urinating in back alleys or scrawling their names illiterately on whitewashed walls. Chavs will often fight for their land (other such words include: 'turf', territory', or 'patch'). One such war happened at the birth place of chavs, Chavham in Kent. this historical town was formerly known as Chatham before the great "Friday Night outside McDonald's War" of 2003 and the "Battle of the High Street" of 2004 in which, despite suffering some key setbacks in skirmishes at the "underpass where all those hobos hangout" and Halford's car park, the chavs held the logistical advantage as they controlled the Pentagon bus station and the train station, meaning they had the ability to txt for reinforcements. This tactical advantage meant that ultimately the chavs held that off license that sells booze without ID and managed to regain McDonald's. To this day the chav boiz still control Chavham town centre, despite sporadic resistance from emos. These battles often consist of Beatboxing Battles and rave dancing. These battles stem from the music chavs play to occupy their vast amounts of free time. To the sickeningly 'chavvy' beat of such music, chavs perfect their monotonous mannerisms in order to attract the 'opposite' sex ( males - males often ) - plus it allows them to gain at least some exercise. These competitions (also commonly known between chav 'gangs' as 'dance-offs') are carried out by the female of the species, during which she will try to out-dance her opponent without inducing pregnancy. The loser is often declared when a 'chavling' is successfully laid or when her opponent collapses in a 'rave music'-induced trance. The territory is then preserved, and quality street pavements are once again littered with the cider drinking species. The chav habitat has a few distinctive features. There are four common types of Chavitat: * The Drinking Hole. This area is usually any one of the four walls which make up Tesco's. * School Most chavs are forced to go to school but they often vent their feelings all over the toilet wall with sayings llke: beenzie was ere 2k7, reppin this school since day 1 and call 4 sex numbers. Such a zone can be seen from a distance, due to the bottle build-up. * The Marking Tree. This area is commonly known as 'a wall'. It contains writing including "Mess wit us n u di". Notice the missing letters; this sums up the tribe's collective intelligence. The Marking Tree can be seen as the historical record of a particular chav gang. * The Mating Area. This area is commonly known as 'an alley'. It contains used contraceptive items and marks on the wall, showing the gang's lost virginity count. * JJB Sports. This is where the most fashionable chav goes to keep up on the latest chav trends. You can see many chavs sporting newly-stolen JJB items, such as the fashionable Pink Tracksuit for girls, or the traditional but still fashionable Blue Nike Tracksuit for both genders of the chav race. * McDonald's. This is a popular place where chavs "chill innit bruv". Also known by chavs as "Maccy D's", this is a place many a chav considers a 5 star restaurant. * The Bus station. This is a place where many a chav would hang out, smoke, have a fight and play obnoxious loud hip-hop music (the music of a chav) on their mobile phone. Some may even walk up to you and ask if you have a lighter, even if you're 14, quite obviously dont smoke (as you dont have the trademark stench of fags that seems to follow around chavs of both genders) and are waiting for a bus with your 5 and 11 year old cousins. * The Train station. This (much like the bus station) is where many of the weaker of the species join together in numbers to gather strength. They go about the usual rituals of smoking and drinking but they usually feel threatened when a superior trades glances with them (which will often result in retaliation). The "Chav" has been known to gather at "Train station" for many hours then leaving without getting on (or disappointingly in the way of) a single train.
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