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Since virtually all accounts of early Gothic development were written solely in Gothic, most of the language's history is pure conjecture. However based on seventh and eighth-hand accounts, historians have extrapolated its history in minute detail. The following is a reconstruction of one eighth-hand account:

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  • Gothic alphabet
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  • Since virtually all accounts of early Gothic development were written solely in Gothic, most of the language's history is pure conjecture. However based on seventh and eighth-hand accounts, historians have extrapolated its history in minute detail. The following is a reconstruction of one eighth-hand account:
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  • Since virtually all accounts of early Gothic development were written solely in Gothic, most of the language's history is pure conjecture. However based on seventh and eighth-hand accounts, historians have extrapolated its history in minute detail. The following is a reconstruction of one eighth-hand account: Around 371 AD, Alaric I got his ass handed to him by the Huns, a sect of anti-Goth Asian dudes. Understandably pissed, Alaric and his homies went to Rome to sulk and brood, letting their anger boil. [HISTORIAN'S NOTE: This is known as the "Emo" period, an event which modern Goths continually celebrate today.] Soon, however, the Romans began to get all narky too, and started treating the Goth dudes like royal shit. So Alaric, awesome guy that he was, came up with a plan: Create a Gothic alphabet and scare the piss out of the Romans. So he did. Then he wrote a bunch of propaganda leaflets in Gothic and dropped them all around the cities. Naturally, this made the Romans so paranoid that entire legions ran and hid at the mere sight of Alaric and his badass Goth warriors. Conventional wisdom states that after Alaric devoured Rome from the inside out, the Gothic alphabet fell out of use. Contemporary evidence appears to refute this, however. According to several reputable eyewitnesses, some sites on the internet have Gothic text on display. The photograph at the head of this article is perhaps the most compelling evdence to support this claim. It is supposedly a fragment of text from an old uncyclopedia article which was huffed. Scholars, however, strongly contend the image is a hoax. Until someone, perhaps a Goth, comes forward with a translation, it shall remain a mystery.
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